make out buddy » fillie

fifteen » the only one

♡
KISSING AWAY THE PAIN
"i don't care you need to listen to this."

i open my eyes slowly, hearing my phone ringing.

today's the day: i have a date with romeo.

i'm not as excited as i used to be and that's not a surprise, i know i don't love romeo and that it's a mistake but finn is with iris now. i have to accept it even if it hurts me.

i decide to call sadie, even if we're not in good terms at the moment i know she will always help me with such important things.

i take my phone and dial her number, after three rings i hear her voice.

"what do you want?" she spokes coldly.

"hey sads, i know you're mad at me but i need you." i start.

"if this have something to do with your shitty boyfriend i don't fucking care." she says agressively.

"sadie...please." i plead.

"oh my god i can't believe you, you're so selfish." she states before hanging up.

i'm not selfish! she's such a jerk.

i get up and go showering. i let the hot water warming me up and stay there a moment.

"you're so selfish"
"you can't be serious"
"i hate you"

what happened in my life so that the most important people in my heart hate me?

romeo happened

no millie stop you can't think that.

i sat on the warm ground of the shower and start crying. i hate this life.

why everything is always so hard? why can't i just make the good choices?
i know finn was the good choice from the beginning why did i made the wrong decision?

i stay there, my emotions all over the place.

"millie hurry up, you're gonna be late for school." i hear my mom's voice from outside the bathroom.

i get out , dry my tears and surround myself with a light blue towel.

"mom?" i yell.

"coming!" she yells back.

i hear footsteps in the stairs and my door opens.

"what do you want honey?" she asks.

"i don't feel really good, can i stay home today? i think i'm sick." i lie.

"ok but it's the last time." she accepts.

"thank you."

when she lefts i put my pajamas back on and go lay in my bed.

i hear my phone buzz and look at the screen.

sadie👯‍♀️: just remember how much romeo already made you suffer, he didn't change. finn's a mess, i don't know what you did to him but i saw him drying is tears before coming in maths class.
08:06 a.m

me: y do you think this is my fault if finn's crying?
08:06 a.m

sadie👯‍♀️: you really think we're this oblivious? gaten, caleb and i saw your little game yesterday at lunch and even before, he spend his days staring at you with heart eyes.
08:06 a.m

i know sadie is right, but it's to late to change that.

i decide to sleep a little more since i didn't sleep much this last months.