Forbidden: Leadership

Chapter 35

-VALERIE'S P.O.V-

"No. Momma."
"Oooo. No?" I tease Dakota.
"Yes."
     She's making it easy. Though I don't be like told no, in this I have no choice but to laugh at it, have fun with it or parent it.
"Babygirl, yes or no?"
     Ninfa tries to contain small laughters. Dakota is getting agitated. She wants Ninfa.
"No."
"No?"
"Yes."
"But you just said no."
    She drops her head on my shoulder in a loud huff. "Momma."
    Ninfa take Dakota and heads into the living room to change her in there. I finish cleaning the kitchen.
"Mommymommy." Dakota comes running in.
    Nothing like your daughter handing you her shitty diaper.
"Niiiin."
"Didn't do it."
"Thank you, babygirl?"
    I throw away the diaper and she grabs my hand and starts pulling me. I have to shrink myself to fucking walk like this cause she's got her hand down to her side.
"You look like one of those spiders that just died and their legs are closing in."
"Oh thank you for your opinion, Misty."
"Would not like to think of my wife that way." Ninfa says with a cringe.
"Can't you shrink?" Misty asks.
"I could, yeah. But I would feel weird."
"Mommy. No."
"See. Even she said no."
"But you feel normal with a male formation?"
     I feel slightly embarrassed. I shouldn't, cause she knows this. But I am comfortable. I am comfortable with my body this way and male, I have no problem with it.
    I lift Dakota and sit on the couch with Ninfa.
"Mommamomma." Dakota flops in Ninfa's lap. Half in mine, half in hers.
"We gotta start planning, babe. I need ideas for the building and maybe a place for it. I got the people. We're just waiting on your call."
"So I'm the leader of the leader?"
"I'd like to think I'm more dominant. And I'd rather you never lead such a place, but yes."
"I was kidding but that's good to know."
"Is that so?"
     She leans over and kisses my cheek. "For another time, Val." The tone of her voice suggests sexual and it intrigues me.
"Okay.."
"Shhhhhhh." Dakota yells.
    Ninfa looks at me with the funniest face.
"Too bad she doesn't know we can still speak without talking."
"She told us to shh. Gathering a strange vocabulary."
"I didn't teach her shit."
"I would hope not. But she knows poop."
"I didn't know you'd take to my idea."
"Why not? You're amazing, love."
"Didn't think it would move fast either."
     In all tech icaloties, it hasn't. The idea was introduced with Dakota at like 8 months. Now she's about to hit two. I've been planning it nonstop but it hasn't hone so fast as it seems.
    Time is just slipping away. It never is even for us supernatural. Either the year is painfully slow or extremely fast and often sad because of how fast the time went.
"I'm part of this existence that I may hate because of who I am but technically I'm the highest on the foodchain right now. Anything you ask for before I had this job, I would have given. Now with the job, it's easier."
    Dakota draws her thumb and it's a signal she's growing tired. She would be asleep before too long.
     I will always hate who I am. No one simply enjoys Lucifer's shadow. No one wakes up one morning in the life and be proud to hold his name.
    My only fear is losing Ninfa. Losing Dakota. But Dakota being afraid of me.. if I could die, that's what will do it. To know your own child hates you because of who you are.
"Would you teach about me when she get a that age? If she hates me, would you tell her why I am this?"
     Ninfa kisses my cheek. Her lips linger. Makes me feel home though I'm not really in her arms at all.
"You think she will hate you but I know she will not."
"Will you teach of me though?"
"Valerie. The great fallen angel. Savior of the world many times over. Sworn to the crown to protect her family. Put her father to shame and recreated a place of damned to a place of order and on the way to somewhat good."
     I laugh lightly. But laugh. And smile. She made me smile on purpose.
"You laugh now, but that's what I'll say."
     As I notice Dakota sleep, I carefully take her up to her room. I love my daughter but fear one day she will not love me. Just one of the things I can count in my fingers that I fear.
    I put her down in her crib. She curls up as I cover her. Thumb in her mouth and the most perfect little angel I could ask for.
    Ninfa drags me out and into our room. She pulls me down on top of her but just holds me tightly. I fall into her embrace and return it.
"You do not need to fear this, Valerie. She loves you. She loves you much more than you think."
"If she doesn't love me and is afraid of me, Ninfa, she will be the only way I die. Is if she hates me." I sigh heavily... "You are different. You love me, yes. And the thought of you hating me hurts me too much to think about but I trust this love. I trust our love to be true. But her, Dakota.. it's.. it's not like this love. I trust your love. I just don't trust hers."
"You don't trust yourself because of who your father was, Valerie. You aren't him. When you were in hell, did she cry for my attention? No. She cried for yours. She loves you more than she loves me."
"I just want to be perfect for everyone. I'm trying so hard. I'm.. trying so.. hard."
"You are perfect. You're perfect in your own way. Perfect to me. And no matter what, I would bet my light that she will love you when she understands who you are."
"Don't bet anything on that." I look up quickly. "Don't ever. Do you understand?"
"Val."
"Your light is my light. Without you, I wouldn't have anything. I would be just as dead inside as the men I train in my army. You losing your light and who you are is the day I lose my light."
"Not the point. I won't bet, if that's what you wish. But I'm serious. She loves you. And I'm sure she always will."
     I hide my face in her arms. I sigh.
"Please do not be upset with me and my mind. I overthink, you know this. I just want to be perfect."
     She pokes my side.
"No."
     She pokes both sides.
"Nin."
"Don't be so down, Val. What you didn't think about is you and her channeling power."
   I look up. "What?"
"Like I can speak to you through our minds, not quite same because I know there is a connection there made by you but it grows stronger when you're near. What I'm saying is you channeled pain she gave you. The pain she gave was her trying to contact you. Both of you worked together to bring you back home. If you're so worried about her not loving you. It takes true love to give someone that power. The power you gave to me to summon you, that was out of true love, was it not?"
"It.. it was.."
"Then I ask you, how can you feel her power more stronger than I can? Because she gave you the power to. She gave you the true love you seek."
    She's.. right..
    I can feel Dakota's power. Since she was born. Since the first image she had given. She is strong, stronger than maybe even I am.
"Do you see as I do now?"
"Just because your right, doesn't mean I am not afraid that one day she could hate me."
"But we're not at that point in life. And when we get there, which we won't, we will deal with it as it comes."
    I kiss her cheek. "What did I do to deserve you?"
"You are a badass hero."
"Your cursing has become something of the common."
"You say that like it's not your fault."
     I roll off of her. I start getting undressed for bed. I hate sleeping in jeans.
    She pulls me back on top of her. Didn't even notice she had slipped her own off. Her warmth feels so nice.
"I think we should build the school somewhere abandoned. I don't know where though."
"Want to do like a grade system? I know they're monsters and the possibility of them getting jobs with humans or other things like that aren't ideal, but at least they'll be smart."
"You could change that, you know. Make it possible to have them be able to work beside human instead of chasing for hunger."
"I could work on that. But still. Have a daycare. Separate the ones whom grow rate of human and the ones who grow rapidly. Teach all same but in different settings, different time frame."
"Sounds like a great idea. But I don't want the school to be racial. Mixx the monsters."
"Roughly how many classrooms do you think will be needed?"
"12 for each grade for the human rate growers. Possibly 24 depending on sizes."
    I laugh. "Oh. Trust me, there is a hefty list."
"With the ones whom grow faster, have the same. They would spend like a few days in each grade. Then a new class would move up in their place."
"Endless loop."
"Depending on breeding."
"Yeah, kind of killed that. Anyone who wants to breed has to ask. I know most numbers of each being."
"I think it's possible one day we could all live and work together. Humans and creatures."
"Possibly. We need a balance. Need to have them see good, not just bad."
"Now we need a place."
"Indeed. But I've got you classes and stuff. Or Joel did. I'll get you a desk and things set up. You can start whenever you wish after I set it all up."
"My wife is going to go geek and set up an office. Wires, computer and all?"
    I groan to her. "Not a geek."
"Nerd?"
"No."
"Maybe I like the geek. Or nerd. You don't know."
"Nin. Just because you know how to set and build a computer doesn't mean you're a geek."
"Build?"
     I hide my face in her arm. "Yes, Nin. I'm literally building it. I've seen Joel do it so many times. Just need monitor and parts."
"See, totally a nerd."
"I'm going to fucking bite you."
"Oh I'm so scared." She exaggerates and laughs at me.
    I bite into her neck. The sweet candy taste of her blood. The racing heartbeat against my tongue as I lightly suck. I love it all.
    She lightly moans to it. Which makes me love it all the more. I could take her right now if I wanted to. And she's already naked for me...
    I pull back. Though heat runs through me, aching for her, I pull back.
"Tease."
"I told you I would bite you, Ninfa."
"Nerd."
"Ninfa.."