Heavy Heart

chapter 19|| butterfly effect

When niggas say,
He don't fuck with me like I fuck with him,
He ain't finna do something right,
That nigga finna snitch,
Man I knew that nigga was a bitch,
Man I don't knew that nigga wasn't shit,
Ain't got no heart, man I knew that nigga wasn't rich,
Should've killed em' when we went on that lick

-Yo Gotti
______________________________

Delonzo Kemal Sanders

For the past couple days I've been trying to get in touch with Kamoni but she ain't been responding to none of my calls nor text messages. I don't know what happened between the time our lil funday ended and time she got home but she didn't even respond when I asked her did she make it home safe. I just assume she had made it and went to sleep but even the next day she didn't respond. It's kind of weird because I really do like Kamoni, and the fact that I never pressured her to have sex with me, I wanted all my feelings for her to be real and they are. It's not based off sex so I know that love and the feelings I have for her is real. I would hope if there was a problem that she would tell me. I mean, why wouldn't she? Our relationship had grown so much since I've met her. She's just perfect, she's understandable, she listen, and she has her own. She's unique in her own way. That smile, is unforgettable. Her scent is all over my house and it's crazy. Damn, I miss her.

I've been contemplating on if I should pop up to her condominium but I've never been to her spot. Yeah, I picked her up before but I don't know what floor she's on, I don't even know what the lobby looks like. Hell, I don't know shit about her if we being real. Now that I think about it, I'm falling for someone I know nothing about. How is that possible? I shook the thoughts of Moni and got up out my bed to get ready, I had to make moves and had to meet up with this chick. Well, I've known her for sometime before Moni but I figured I could try something different and that's where Moni came in at. I threw on a simple white tee, some light denim ripped jeans, and some all white shell top adidas. I wanted to be comfortable today, no need to dress up. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.

As I drove I couldn't help but think about how my life could've been different if I wouldn't have did what I did that night. Even now, I still feel like I'm not where I should be in my life. Yeah, I got money and a business but that ain't shit to where I could've been. I let my jealousy and selfishness not only ruin my money but a friendship that I still today, regret jeopardizing. I can't do shit about it now, it happened and a lot of shit happens but it ain't no turning back now.

I brushed the thought off and got out the car after getting to my destination. I walked inside Bahama Breeze and looked around to see who I was looking for and before the host could speak I was already making my way to her. She still looked the same, nothing changed from the last time I seen her. She had on a black tight fitted adidas dress with black adidas shell toes. I raised my eyebrows in amusement as I made my way to the table.