I am Widow

Chapter 49

Sunday

Paul is working today so I am all alone. I have been alone this past days. Joe is working or going out on dates with Briana. Jessica is still all sad about Mike. James is training. Paul is still upset with me. He only comes to see how I am doing and the baby's health.

He knows that I had sex with Jackson thanks to Jessica's comment. Jackson told him what happened after Paul asked him to tell him the truth. I don't know if Jackson told him out of guilt or satisfaction.

..

I am eating my frozen spaghetti dinner while watching some news. I hear the door open, "Wid?"

Paul sits next to me. He drops like a rock and his head lies on the top part of the couch.

"How has the baby been?" he asks.

"It is okay. I have the appointment next month, maybe we can figure out the sex of the baby."

He nods, "Okay, well I am going home. Goodnight."

He starts walking to the door but I run to get him.

"Paul, don't leave me please," I whisper. He stops by the door and slowly turns around.

"I won't," he says.

He opens the door and leaves.

I don't want to be alone. I don't care if it's selfish but I don't want to be alone! I run after him.

PAUL POV:

"Please don't leave me!" she yells.

I stop at my car's door and see her reflection on the window. She can't even cry real tears for me. I have seen those tears before, and they aren't for love. Those are the tears that Susan cried for me, tears of fear. The fear to be all alone is what does tears are.

She hugs me from behind. "I am sorry. I don't know how it happened but it did."

I turn to her, "Don't say that because that is not true. You know why you did with Jackson. You love him and having someone so close can lead to a lot of things."

"I'm sorry."

"You aren't, you enjoyed that moment. I bet you still replay it in your head when you see him," I say.

That seems to hit her really hard, "Paul."

I shush her, "Don't say anything; I don't want to harm the baby. We talk right and civilize tomorrow. Night."

I leave her standing there under the light midnight blue sky.

What were you thinking Paul? She will suddenly love you and forget about Jackson?

"You are an idiot!" I yell. I can't help but to release some tears for her. But I know this might happen, why kid myself?

I am trying to control my anger but I can't! I want to freaking kill him and her! They think they can just have sex and I forgive them?

WELL YOU ARE THE NICE PAUL. YOU FORGIVE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING THAT HARMS YOU OR HURTS YOU.

"Shut up!" I yell.

Ibegintoyellandsteponthegas.Iwanttofuckingkillhim!HeknewIwould forgivehimandhesleptwithher.shehasmydamnbabyinherandshescrew up with him!ShehasnorespectformeandthebabyhowIcanevertrustheragain!?!!

WIDOW POV:

I haven't seen Paul or received a call from him since Sunday. I called his parents yesterday and they haven't seen him either. We went to the police but we needed to wait 24 hours to be able to have a search for him.