I am Widow

Chapter 2

Continuing Chapter 1:

Afterschool

I walk home from school every day. I don't got any responsible guardian to drive me to a wonderful home. Heck, I hate going to my house. I don't like school but that is the only place where I feel safe and knowing that is not more worse than my house.

My house is just your plain regular house. It is white, two windows on the front, (the left one is cracked), a door and a black mailbox with the number 23 on it.

So I check the mailbox. Just some news-letters and Playboy magazines. I get them and go inside. I see Joe on the couch drinking beer and watching the "Sopranos".

"Here's your trash." I throw the magazines on his lap.

"Thank you so much sweetie. Now go fetch me something to eat now huh?" Joe asks in his nice voice.

What in the world did he want now? He is using the "I want something" voice. Like always...

I don't want to be hit again so I go to the kitchen and start to cook supper. I take out the chicken from the refrigerator and a frozen bag of vegetables. As I am cutting the chicken into pieces, I feel Joe's dirty hand going around my waist.

"Oh chicken my favorite. You always know what I want and need." Joe says. He kisses me in my neck. Then my cheek.

"Please stop. I need to cut this." I struggle to get out of his bear hug.

"Widow, I want to show you how much I love you and appreciate you." He starts to grind on me and to touch all my body. I punch him on his guts and run towards my room. But he gets hold of my hair and pulls me towards him.

"Where are you going hon? I need you." Joe says.

"STOP PLEASE!!"

He begins to kiss me, touching my breast, and moaning in delight. I try to get out but he slaps me.

"Bitch you owe me! I want you!" Joe began to scream like a maniac. He punches my face. He drags me to his room. He drops me in his bed. He gets on top of me, and rips my shirt off. He begins to kiss me again. I feel his hands going up and down, to my breast then all the way down to my knees. I closed my eyes. I am weak. Joe is a muscle man. No escape.

"Oh baby you're great. Beautiful." I hear him whisper into my ear.

I am use to the pain. I am use to feeling like trash. I am use to Joe making me his.

30 minutes later in burning hell.

Joe gets comfortable in the bed lying to the left side. Both of us completely naked. I lay on my right arm looking at the wall. Crying.

I hear Joe snoring. He felt asleep. He is drunk. I could smell the breath when he was sticking his tongue inside of my mouth.

I quietly get up. I cover my body with the covers, get my clothes, and walk towards the bathroom. I get in the shower to try to bathe all the dirt and demons away. Taking a shower doesn't change the way I feel but it helps me.

5 minutes later...

I go to my room to get dress. I grab some skinny black jeans and a red t-shirt. I go back to the kitchen. I am starving, so I make the chicken after all.
I finish and go my room. My room is also normal. It has white walls, a simple bed, a drawer, a wooden desk, and a little closet. Nothing special. That's how I like it.

I lay on my bed thinking about what just happen. He raped me again. Not a surprised. Nothing new. Yet still traumatizing.

Stop thinking about it! Think about your favorite show. Nothing. Think about your favorite book. Nothing. Think about your favorite color. Nothing. Think about someone you like. No one.

I keep asking myself questions and with that loneliness and depression I fall to sleep.