I am Widow

Chapter 26

I fall into my bed; I just begin to cry again. Everything happen so fast and just too much emotion.

SO YOU ARE CONFUSE AGAIN? ARENT YOU?

What?

I hear that voice again,

YOU LOVED JAMES KISSING YOU LIKE THAT, DONT DENY IT WIDOW.

"No! It felt wrong and too force. Shut up!"

NO, CAUSE I AM RIGHT. YOU ARE JUST AFRAID OF JACKSON. YOU DONT WANT TO LOOSE HIM BUT YOU WANT JAMES NOW.

"No, I love Jackson. I feel pretty and good and happy with him. I know little about him but I feel like I will still love him after I do."

HHMM...WELL OK WHATEVER YOU SAY WIDOW. I JUST WANT YOU TO MAKE A GOOD CHOICE. NO MORE HURTING YOURSELF AND OTHERS.

"Go away!!" I yell.

"Widow!" I hear Lucas scream.

He barges in like a maniac and come to my side.

"You okay? Who was here?" he asks.

"No one. I was having a nightmare."

"Oh, well let me get you a apple tea. It helps calm the nerves."

I just nod. Darn I'm going totally crazy.

I feel vibrations under my leg, and it's Jackson calling. I don't want to talk to anyone. I want to sleep. But Jackson keeps on calling and I get annoyed. I wait till Lucas gets me the tea and leaves.

"Alright well, Marry and I will be at the living room. If you need anything just yell." Lucas says. I just nod. I drink a little bit of the tea and dial up Jackson. I'm not planing to tell him anything about my visit today.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Hey Widow!" Jackson exclaims.

"Why are you so happy?"

"Well two things: 1. I'm going to play on the finals. 2. I'm hearing your voice."

I slightly smile, "That's good."

"Yeah, I cant believe everything is turning great for all of us."

Too soon to say that especially now.

"So you want me to pick you up for school tomorrow? Or you want me to wait for you at school?" Jackson asks.

"Umm wait for me." Ugh, I feel so tired and bad. I don't know what to do. I don't want to go to school. I don't know if James will be there or not. How can I see Jackson after what happen between James and me?

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, just tired. Lucas forced me to go window shopping for him."

"Heh, weird. Hey since you said the word shopping, are we still on for the winter dance? Do even want to go?"

Darn, I totally forgot about that. Stupid dance.

"I don't know yet. I have to check with my step dad and see if I have money to buy something decent."

"Well, don't worry about the dress. I'll buy it for you, you can go shopping with Jessica."

"No it's okay. I buy my own dress, but thanks. That's nice of you,"

"Alright, whatever you want Widow. I guess I should leave to rest. Tomorrow we can hang in lunch."

"Yeah, that will be nice. Thanks Jackson."

"Okay, see you tomorrow. Love you Widow," he whispers the last three words.

My heart feels nice. "Bye Jackson. See you tomorrow." I couldn't repeat his love you without thinking about James.