The Outsiders Oneshots ✔️

Breathe

Ponyboys POV

I breathe in and out, trying to calm my racing heart.

People, my friends, just wouldn't stop texting me. I know I seem like a good person to talk to and I enjoy helping people but so many things have been going on in my life right now and they still expect me to help them... I just can't.

This is all too much. I have piles of homework. Friends to deal with. Others friend problems to fix. Chores to do. Things I need to do that are personal (no not jacking off, sicko XD).

Why does this always happen? I have a good day and then when I get on my phone later all this shit blows up in my face. I hate technology. I hate that I wanted a phone when I didn't have one. I hate it. So. Much.

I feel like my head is about to explode and my lungs are burning from too quick of breaths.

Ponyboy... it's fine. Just chill. Calm.

My heart rate slows a bit but I have a bit of trouble breathing. My head starts to spin yet when I open my eyes, everything is still. I feel like my body is swaying and my eyes are going crazy.

I lean onto the wall, digging my nails into the palms of my hands.

"Hey you're okay, you're okay, name five things around you. Bed, pencil, dresser, school bag, paper. Okay. Slowly open your eyes," I repeat over to myself, calming a bit.

I learned how to do that when I was having an anxiety attack. I mean I learned how to calm myself and not pass out like last time. I was reading about it since I had my first one ever and needed to know more.

My breaths were back to their usual pace but the headache still lingered.

My phone was blowing up and I wanted to smash it. Instead I texted Johnny, my pal.

Me:
Johnny I can't take this no more...

Johnny:
What?

Me:
Life... it's so hard and stressful and I can't deal with it.

Johnny:
I don't know how to respond Pony... just calm down. It'll be alright, you know that. Is it that one problem about your phone again? Just listen. Put your phone down or just set it on silent. Tell them that you have to go and just watch YouTube or something. Maybe read. You got this, just breath Pony.

Me:
Thank you Johnnycake... I'll see you tomorrow at school. Have a nice night, bye

Johnny:
Alright, you too Pone, night.

And with that, I turned my phone on silent and told everyone I had to go. I did feel really bad though since most of them were crying but sometimes you just have to do things for yourself. It's not selfish. But still.

I smiled at the texts Johnny sent me. He really is a great person. I just wish I could be like that...

I don't know why but I've been emotional lately, I lashed out on Two-Bit about... I don't exactly remember but I know I did because he wouldn't talk to me until I apologized. I felt really embarrassed and angry at myself for doing that, he doesn't deserve it.

I click onto the Wattpad app that I downloaded because Johnny had shown it to me before and it was a really great app to read on.

I find the latest book that I've fallen in love with, it's a book about these two kids, one a Karate learner and the other a regular boy and they get together, then married... something like that.

I lay on my bed and open it, seeing it has been updated and I excitedly read the chapter.

Once I was finished I lay on my bed, head spinning with thoughts and memories.

You know what? Wednesday's suck!