Wild Moonlight

Going Away

"Marlee... what's wrong? You've been shutting everyone out since you woke up in the hospital wing. What's going on?" Lily asked me while I was laying on my bed reading a muggle book.

"Lil... I-I I can't stay here." I stuttered quietly.

"Mar. What's going on? Whatever it is we can help you through it." She asked on the verge of tears.

"Lily... I can't stay here in the UK anymore. Once we leave Hogwarts I'm leaving for good. With you-know-who out there it's isn't safe for me or my baby especially since I've seen him murder my parents. I lost both of my parents before I was even old enough to attend Hogwarts. I don't want that for my baby." I told her basically saying that I was pregnant.

"Y-you're pregnant?" She asked with her eyes completely wide. I nodded.

"I didn't even know until Remus took me to the hospital wing last week. Poppy told me." I told her. She stood there in shock for a minute before wrapping her arms around me and squealing with glee.

"What are you going to name it?" She asked me excitedly.

"If it’s a girl Anastasia Lily Bane, a boy... i think Luke James Bane." I told her.

"You're naming them after James and I?" Lily asked in awe. I nodded and a sudden look of realization came across her face. "Bane? Mar what about Remus? He would like to know that he has a baby boy or girl out there."

"Lily I need you to promise me right here and now that you will not tell Remus about this baby." I said in the most serious tone i have ever spoken.

"Mar he deserves to know." She said.

"Promise me Lily. I will tell him eventually but you need to let me tell him." I looked into her eyes and she caved. She let out a loud groan at the situation.

"Fine! I promise I won't tell Remus about his unborn child!" She all but yelled. "You know this is so scandalous... First you break up with Ashton because you think he deserves better because you drunkenly slept with your best friend who you've been in love with since before Hogwarts, then you find out that you're pregnant by said best friend... it would make an interesting book."

After talking all night to Lily I finally fell into a peaceful sleep. The next morning I woke up and immediately felt the urge to vomit. I ran to the closest bathroom and puked my guts out, tears sliding down my face silently. Once I was sure I wasn't going to puke anymore I wiped my mouth and got ready for the day.

When I was ready I went down to the great hall to try and fill my empty stomach without getting sick again. Once inside I saw all of my friends sitting and the table laughing and happy. All but one oblivious of the sad events to come.

"Hey guys!" I said trying to sound happier than I actually was. "Gosh I'm starving. Scoot over Siri so I can sit with my best friend!"

"Thanks Mar. It's nice to know that I've been replaced by James!" Lily fake gasped causing me to laugh a little.

"Sorry Lil… it’s just... James and I are meant to be... best friends until the world is destroyed by teddy bears!" I said adding on the last part over dramatically. I could tell that everyone was happy to have me being weird and social than quiet and cutting everyone off.

"No, Mar I thought you loved me, but it’s obvious that you love Lily and James more." Sirius fake sobbed.

While laughing I grabbed some food and started munching on it. Remus looked at me catching my eyes for only a second before I turned away. Lily gave me a ‘tell him’ look but I ignored it and started a conversation about jokes. Lily just groaned and gave up. After a few minutes of our pranking conversation my stomach started to feel funny and I took off towards the bathroom knowing what was coming. I reached the bathroom, and once again emptied out the contents of my stomach. Instead of trying to eat a full meal again i went to Poppy to see if she could help with the morning sickness.

"Poppy?" I asked walking into the hospital wing.

"Yes dear?" She asked walking out of her small office.

"Do you have anything to help me with my morning sickness? I can't eat anything without throwing up." I asked quietly. She nodded and gave me a weird potion.

"Drink this and go eat some breakfast. You shouldn't feel sick anymore." She told me. I quickly drank the potion and went back to the great hall to try and eat again.

"Hey Mar... where'd you go?" Remus asked me worriedly.

"Oh... I remembered that I left my favorite quill in my room... I ran and got it." I lied. Lily gave me a disapproving look and by the look on James's face I knew he could tell I was lying too. The only person who actually bought my lie was Peter, but Remus decided to let it go, knowing that if I wanted him to know I would tell him. I filled my plate with all kinds of food. Now that I wasn't going to puke anymore I wanted to eat as much as I could.

The day went on like normal, and I didn't puke at all after the potion. The final month of school basically went by the same. I would be sick for about once a week and would go to Poppy for the potion.

"Mar you need to tell him." Lily said as I packed my trunk to leave Hogwarts for the last time as a student.

"I will Lily. I promise that I will tell him when I'm ready." I told her quietly.

"And when will that be Mariah? When your child is all grown up? He will want to be in its life. He will want to help raise his child!” She yelled.

"I don't know Lily. I'm just not ready to tell him. Now my flight to America is scheduled for a week from today. Just remember Lily... no matter what happens, let me tell him." I told her.

She nodded her head as a tear slipped down her face. "I'll come back when this war is over. I promise. When it's safe for us to return just write me."

"Tell your baby that Aunt Lily loves them. Make sure he or she knows that." She cried.

"Always." I cried. Later that day we got on the train to leave. As soon as we got to our compartment I took the window seat and gazed out of the window.

"Mar are you alright?" James asked me, snapping me out of my daze.

"Boys... I have something to tell you." I said quietly.

"What is it?" Remus was the first to ask.

"I'm going away. I just think that it's too dangerous for me to be here. With You-Know-Who at large... I don't feel very safe." I told them, a tear gliding down my cheek.

"We'll protect you Mar. You know we will. Is this why you've been distant since that nightmare? Did you dream about them again?" Sirius rambled on.

"No Siri... it's not about that... I don't even remember what I dreamt about."

“Then what is it?” He asked showing that he was pissed off.

“I-I” I stuttered then took a deep breath. Next I did what I thought to be impossible for me.. I lied to my three best friends. “I can’t tell you. I promised to keep it a secret.”