All is fair with love and war

im finnaly letting him go

“Sometimes you have to fight not to win but to gain respect’

I bit down on my bottom lip and looked back up at cole he was staring intently I smiled weakly and said

-          Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Davidson

I stared at cole and it hurts me so much to see him with her he told me that hed divorce her but it wasn’t happening

-          Daddy!

A little girl ran up to him and he scooped her in his arms my heart broke he has a daughter. He looked up at me.

-          Nice to meet you too Leila

-          Um mom I uh.. ill be right back

-          Yea yea ok

I swiftly turned around not wanting her to see the tears that were forming and set to stream down my face. I sucked it all in and went to find the bathroom food rose within me and I was getting ready to throw up I held my head over the sink and threw up, wiped my mouth and let the water run in the sink so that my ‘vomit’ would go away when it finally did i washed my hands and fixed myself up my face was pale I added some color to it by forcefully smiling I blinked twice to the hope that this was a dream but I ended up in same places both times. I swallowed and decided to get out the bathroomcole was standing there waiting for me.

-          Leila

-          Mr. Davidson- I said scoffing

-          Please, im sorry

-          What for we hardly know each otherhave we met before, if not then I would say you are mistaken, whats a married man doing talking to a girl like me anyways

He put his head down and bit his bottom lip

-          Now if you excuse me

He leaned in to kiss me but I said

-          Youre married remember keep looking at your damn ring to remind you

He pulled his head back in shock ive never rejected his kisses before even if I was really upset at him and it shocked him.

-          Babe- he spoke softly

-          No –  i shook my head- no get to your wife

A tear steamed down my face in he reached to wipe it

-          Don’t touch me

-          Im sorry

I shook my head and wiped the tear

-          I should be going now it was um… sdmething meeting you

-          Don’t walk away- he said softly defeated

-          Sometimes you have to.

I forcefully smiled at himand walked back inside. My mom and avery were sharing laughs and it just hit me on how jealous iam of her she has a child with the man I love the man that I cant stop crying for  she has everything I want from him she had everything they share a child a ring and love I want to belive that they are not in love but its impossible they look like a newfound couple that does everything together. I need to stop loving him he isn’t mine to claim like she said she had him first im the one that needs to go. I need to go before I ruin a family before I violate a innocent child of a father before I bring destruction its for the best I need to move on I need to go I need to go far away I should of done this sooner. I cant believ I lost him I gave him everything that was within me but Nathan was right cole wasn’t capable to love he loved someone but It wsnt me it was his family his daughter his wife I will never have that I will never claim that. I wasted 1 year of my life with someone  everyone warned me about someone that brought distaste to my friends and family they told me I was messing with fire but I just called them liars its hard to let go but I have to.