Possessed and Possessive (Completed)

Chapter 2: Succumbing and Preparing

                                     

El's POV

"You're mine"

"I know."

"And you will always be mine, right? Say it. Say, you'll always be mine and only mine."

"I will always be yours and only yours, Edward Lucas Ainsworth. Always!"

I woke up with a start. What the heck did just happen? I told him I'll be his always in my dream? Yes I did! I just told him in my dreams that I will be his and only his? Ed, why are you doing this to me? Why can't you just leave me alone?! I broke up with you, remember?

And I also remember it. The empty classroom. The room where it all started. His face. That hurt look on his face. The sorrow that I felt. I can still feel it. That pain that has been crushing me since the past two month. It's difficult to forget someone who became your habit, isn't it?

But I have to stop thinking about him. Only last night had I lectured myself to sleep about my fight for pride? Pride? What pride? I just want to run into his arms and tell him I love him, I missed him and that I can't possibly live without him! Is it possible that someone can become so important for you in only three months of relationship? It is, I sighed. It is, when it is Edward Lucas Ainsworth you're in love with.

But I will never ever succumb to him and his wishes. Never! I know I want to run into his arms but I won't. I won't because I can't become his possession again. His restrictions had killed me once I can't let them kill me again.

Oh god! I can't face him today. I just can't. I'll just call in sick. Yeah, that'll be great. I'll just say I am sick and I can't come. But he will know.  He'll know I am running away from him and I just can't let him gloat over it.

"And you shouldn't missy!"

"What the hell Rhonda?! How do you even get to know what I am thinking?" I said.

"Because I am your nanny. I have raised you up." She replied.

"Rhonda, please stop calling yourself my nanny. You know how embarrassing it is. And you do remember how Ed had laughed when you said that to him?"

My hands quickly flew to my mouth. Shit! Now she'll lecture me. Shit! Why don't you think before you speak, Ms. Elizabeth Jane Anderson! Why?

"Beth, you need to forget him and move on. You broke up with him and you had good reasons. Then why can't you forget him. I know you loved him. But remember you loved him. You can't love him anymore because it'll only break you, sweetheart. You need to move on. Damian is a good boy, you should move on with him. Reciprocate his feelings, Beth." Rhonda said to me.

"Rhondaa!!! Damian is just a friend. And he'll always be that. Okay? Don't push. Now go, I need to get ready for war."

"Not war missy but life. You're not fighting you're just moving on. Like you should have two months ago" Rhonda said to me and left.

Sigh! I love Rhonda. She's my semblance to sanity. She has always been there for me and she understood me always. And I know she is right. I am not a warrior. I am just me, trying to move forward. Or should I say backward? Yes backward it is. I'll be back to being the old, nerdy me. And I think that is good. That was better than that three months relationship.

I stood up to go to loo when I heard the doorbell ring. Damian and Alice are here, I thought to myself and smiled inwardly. I know they're here to support me because Ed and I will be seeing each other after two months today. They're right. I need them badly.

"Beth! Beethhh!!! Bethyyyy!!"  Alice sung my name as she pounded upstairs. And then she barged in with Damian smiling behind her. I felt guilty looking at him. He went through a lot because of me. A lot. I remembered how Ed had beaten him up because he thought Damian is in love with me.

Damian? In love with me? He's clearly in love with Alice, goddammit! I don't get why everyone thinks he is love with me? Rhonda, Ed and mom. Sigh! That's because he hangs out with me when he is lovelorn because Alice is snuggled somewhere with her boyfriend James.

"C'mon Beth go get ready. It's show time!" Alice said as she hugged me.

"No, Alice. It's not Showtime. I just want to be me. The old Beth. Not Ed's El"

I know I smiled saying the name only Ed called me. El! Ed's El. That's what he used to say. I shook myself out of the reverie and went to change. After fifteen minutes, we walked downstairs to have breakfast. It was at the breakfast table that I recognized that Damian was uncharacteristically silent today.

"Damian, are you alright? You're too quiet today. You weren't Ed's girlfriend, I was." I teased.

He smiled at me and said: "But I am the reason why you guys broke up. And I don't think it's a good idea you should be hanging around with me now that he's back."

"Oh Damian! It wasn't you it was me. I broke up with him because he was killing me. Because I was sad. I was moping when I was with him. It was me and only me" I explained to him.

"C'mon Beth. You both were happily in love until I happened. Why don't you just accept it!" He said in irritation.

"Because it was not you. What happened that day between you and Ed was what made me realize how unhappy I was with him. Trust me, okay?" I said.

"Okay." He said smiling a little.

I smiled back because I know it was not him. It was us. Me and Ed. We were the reason we broke up. It is as simple as that.