Possessed and Possessive (Completed)

Chapter 19: The last fight

Okay so gues this'll be the only update for today. Not feeling well. Sorry.

-S

Ed's POV

Its never easy to give up that you have wanted the most. And it is most difficult to turn your face from that one person who means the world to you. But I today have done both the things. I today have accomplished both the tasks and not because I want Elizabeth back in my life but because I have realized she deserves it. 

Yesterday night I didn't sleep for a second. And that is all because of the guilt ride I was on. Last night I had realized how wrong I had been. Alice was right, I most definitey was at fault. And I hate myself for what I did. I just can't believe that I turned into a crazy person just because of that one trauma of my life.

I know it had changed my life and my family but that doesn't at all mean that I should have let it get to me. I shouldn't have done that. I just shouldn't have. But I allowed it to affect me. And what did that do? It made me drive away most probably forever that one person I loved the most. Elizabeth Jane Anderson. 

I just threw her out of my life with my own fucking hands. And now here I am making ammendments today to her so that she could forgive me and so that she could move on from the pain I had inflicted upon her. And that is just I want from her- forgiveness. Nothing else. Because frankly I am not even in the position to ask her for anything else.

I know for sure that she will never come back in my life. And it hurts me beyond belief. It hurts to know that I would never see her beautiful smile that was only for me. I would never see her beautiful eyes up close. I would never be able to play with her soft, luscious hair. I would never kiss her and have her kiss me back. I would never put my arm around her waist and oull her to me to kiss her when she says something cute. I would never hug her when she is sad. I would never see her dote on Hayley. I would never see her walk towards me smiling shyly. I would never call her El. I would never have her back.

My eyes burned with unshed tears. Tears I refuse to cry because I had willingly brought this damage. And now is the time for damage control. Though that'll not benefit me at all but it alteast will help in assuaging Elizabeth's pain.

I walked towards Damian after lunch when I saw him lounging in the hallway. I stood in front of him and said:

"Hey Damian. I came to ask you to forgive me for hitting you that day. I was wrong. I am sorry man."

Damian looked at me and shockingly he smiled:

"Its okay man. I'll forgive you on one condition."

"What?" I asked in return.

"Ask Beth to forgive you and I'll forgive you too."

I looked at him and thought how much he cares for her. Two months ago I would have been jealous and I would've been spitting mad but today I just felt shit. I couldn't believe that I never cared about her that much. I gave Damian a half-smile and said:

"That I will. I am just going to do that."

"If she forgives you which she will. So consider yourself forgiven." Damian said while patting my shoulder.

"How do you know she'll forgive me", I ask.

"Because she still loves you."

I looked at him shocked to the very core of my existence. She still loves me? But why? A flame of hope ignited inside me at that very moment. Maybe all is not lost. Maybe we have a chance to be together. Maybe we can give us another shot.

'And maybe she doesn't want that', my conscience said. I felt a sinking feeling inside me. Yeah maybe she doesn't want to get into the same chaos with me. I told Damian I'll see him later and walked towards the library where Damian said she was.

As I entered the library I looked around for her, only to sopt her sitting in a corner reading a book. I smiled to myself. As always. While anything and everything can change, one thing can never ever change. And that is Elizabeth. She'll always stay the same. And that is just what I love about her.

She never tries to adjust herself to others, she is happy as who she is. She never wears too much makeup, only mascara and gloss. She never reveals too much flesh and she is comfortable in her skin. This is jsut what had attracted me to her. The fact that she is so beautiful that she makes me breathless yet she doesn't know that.

I shook myself out of my thoughts and walked towards her. Once I reached her I said:

"Hey Elizabeth."

I saw her head shot up at my voice and she sat straight and looked at me with disbelieve, as if she is unsure about talking to me. I cringed at that sight but I thought better than show it.

"Hi" she replied, unsure of herself.

"May I sit down with you? If you're okay with it, that it is. I just need to speak to you for a minute." I asked solemnly.

"I am not sure Edward. I don't know what you're up to and stuff. But I don't think we can be civil in public to each other anymore." she replied in a hushed voice.

Her words hurt me beyond belief. How could she even think that? I know I did a lot wrong to her but its not like I was the only one wrong. Every relationship has problems and both the people are responsible for it. How could she just blame it all on me?!

Fine I was wrong when I stopped her placing all this fucking stupid rules on her and I was wrong to beat Damian but she was worn too! She was wrong because she was not vocal about her issues, she was wrong to accept all that I asked her too and she was wrong to break up with me without giving me a fucking chance to explain!

I flushed with anger and said to her while I saw her cringe looking at my expression:

"You know what Elizabeth? You were never sure anyway. You were never sure about me, about you and about us! And thats because you never bothered to know me, did you? You always assumed like you're doing right now. I can be civil to you, goddammit! And I am not upto anything! You asked me to not call you El. And when I do that you say I am upto things? And I am here just to apologize to you for all that I did to you. For never trusting you. So yeah its out. I want you to forgive me so that I get rid of this guilt, okay?"

Elizabeth stared at me for a while and then replied:

"I am not the one you should ask for forgiveness. You should ask Damian for that. And as for not being sure about us and about you, let me tell you you're wrong again. As always! I was always sure. Its you who never opened up to me!"

"Really? And what about you? Did you try and talk to me about your past? Of course you didn't. Stop blaming me for everything, Elizabeth. I know 70% of the shit happened because of me but the rest was because of you. So don't go saying I am wrong. And don't say I hurt you. Because you did the same. You hurt me by not telling me how you were feeling about all that I was doing. You hurt me by not letting me explain! You never opened up to me, Beth. Ever! I did that, I tried. But you didn't even bother! You say I broke your trust but you did the same! I trusted you for being honest with me about everything but you didn't do that!" I huffed in anger.

I saw Elizabeth's face wretched with hurt by my words but I chose to ignore it this time. I had enough. I stood up while saying:

"You know I thought I loved you but now I am not sure. I just don't know you. And that means I can't be in love with you. And the same goes for you. You don't love me too. We just thought we did. And now, I want to get over this guilt and move on with my life. And you should just do the same. Get over it. Just forget it. Move on."

I then walked away from her but stopped mid-way, tuned around and said:

"I forgot to tell you. I already apologized to Damian before coming here."

As I saw a shocked expression take over her face, I walked off smiling slightly. We needed this last fight to get over the mess we had created. Now that the last fight has taken place, I think we can move on. And I hope we can move on together.