Possessed and Possessive (Completed)

Chapter 20: We're on the same page

Okay so because i was feeling guilty for not updating like I always do so here is yet another update.

-S

Don't forget to VOTE & COMMENT on the story & FOLLOW me.

El's POV

I don't know for how long I had kept on looking at the doorway through which Edward had left the library and most probably my life. I can never forget the anger that coursed through him today when he confronted me. His words still are ringing in my ear:

"Really? And what about you? Did you try and talk to me about your past? Of course you didn't. Stop blaming me for everything, Elizabeth. I know 70% of the shit happened because of me but the rest was because of you. So don't go saying I am wrong. And don't say I hurt you. Because you did the same. You hurt me by not telling me how you were feeling about all that I was doing. You hurt me by not letting me explain! You never opened up to me, Beth. Ever! I did that, I tried. But you didn't even bother! You say I broke your trust but you did the same! I trusted you for being honest with me about everything but you didn't do that!"

Did I hurt him? Did I really hurt him? Oh yes I did. I most likely did. He is right I never told him how I was feeling. And the only time I did was when I broke up with him without even giving him a chance to explain. Oh God! What have I done?! I could've saved us. I could've if only I had stopped putting all the balme on him. I just kept on blaming him. I kept on thinking we never opened up to each other. But what about you not opening up to him ever ever Beth!! Why?!

Why did I keep on blaming him when I am equally responsible. Fuck you, Elizabeth Jane Anderson for believing you were never a damsel in distress! Fuck you, because you always treated yourself that way. Oh poor me, look what Edward did to me! I hate myself right now! I loathe myself!

And now he doesn't think he loves me and he has made me question yet again the possibility of us being in love ever. I can still hear him saying:

"You know I thought I loved you but now I am not sure. I just don't know you. And that means I can't be in love with you. And the same goes for you. You don't love me too. We just thought we did. And now, I want to get over this guilt and move on with my life. And you should just do the same. Get over it. Just forget it. Move on."

He wants to move on? He wants to forget me? Will I be able to bear it? Can I see him go out with someone else? Someone who is beautiful and who loves him for who he is? Can I see him hold hands with some other girl like he held mine? Can I see him laugh at some other girl's jokes like he laughed at mine? Can I see him mess another girl's hairs like he messed mine? Can I see him hug some other girl at every possiblity like he hugged me? Can I see him place a kiss on some other girl's forehead like he did on mine? No! NO I CAN"T.

Oh God! What is this misery that I am stuck in with? Why isn't that torture ending. And if this also not enough I have also to berate myself for being an ass to him when he asked me forgiveness. i told him to ask Damian for forgiveness but he had already done that! He had asked me to forgive him and he had apologized to Damian too. He would have never ever done that but he did because he is changing. And look at me, the preacher of good, sitting here and not letting go of the past.

I then felt like I couldn't bear it anymore and I felt I needed to desperately talk to someone so I texted Alice to meet me after class. I know she is that one person who'll always understand me and who'll give me the correct advice.

I kept on berating myself till the period ended. I then walked towards Alice's English class when I saw her running towards me:

"Beth are you okay?"