Ezra has kept a secret from the crew. He is has been suffering from depression. He has a note book and there he writes all his feelings. What happens when Kanan finds that notebook? Or when Ezra decides to commit suicide? Is Kanan going to be on tim...
The empire took my parents away. I can't believe it. I'm all alone. I looked around my home. I saw my backpack on the floor. I put inside some clothes and my home's key even if I am not going to come back here again. Before I leave these place forever I saw an orange notebook on the floor.
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Ezra's notebook
I picked it up and I ran away. I ran and ran till I reached an old communication tower. I went upstairs and I opened the door. It was empty. Well this was my home now. I sat in the bed, tears streaming down my face. I opened the notebook and I took a pencil and I started to write.
Sorry it's my fault. It's always my fault but you don't need water to feel like you're drowning, right?
I closed the notebook. My name is Ezra Bridger. I am seven years old and I am depressed.
Now days Ezra's p.o.v
It's been 7 years since I found out I am depressed. And it's also been two months since I followed the crew. I can't get too close to this people. Anyways I am going to end up myself soon. What's the reason to come closer. I opened my notebook and I started writing.
The worst kind of pain is when you're smiling just to stop the tears from falling. I heared a knock in the door and I hide the notebook under my pillow. The door opened and Zeb came in.
"Hey kid goodnight"
"Goodnight? What time is it?"
"It's midnight"
I looked at the clock and I saw that he was right.
He laid on his bed and closed his eyes.
"Goodnight Zeb"
"Goodnight kid"
I lay on the bed and pretend to be asleep. When I was sure that Zeb was asleep I took my notebook again. I took my pencil too and I started writing again.
A sad soul is always up after midnight. But how can I sleep if I don't have dreams. I just have nightmares. I am with the crew but nobody notices how hard I try everyday to hold back my tears. Not even Kanan. But it's not his fault. I just hate myself so much. I was born to walk alone. I am hiding what I am feeling for him but Im tired of holding this inside me. I am too scare to be alone and too scared to open up. I can't trust him or anyone. I can't anymore. But don't worry the pain will be over soon. But how?
Kanan p.o.v
It's been two months since Ezra came aboard. We started training last month. But something is odd. I can feel it. Something hurts him. I searched through the force that he is still awake. What is he doing up so late? I decided to talk to him. I made my way to his room. I didn't want to knock the door. It would wake up Zeb and even a Jedi Knight isn't so powerful to survive from an angry Zeb. I used the force to open the door silently. I saw Ezra on his bed. He was writing on some kind of notebook. He didn't seem to notice me.
"Hey kid"
"Kanan! What are you doing up so late?"
"I can ask you the same thing"
"I-I just couldn't sleep"
"Oh alright. Are you sure alright kid?"
"Yeah I haven't been better"
"OK. Now sleep we have a lot of training tomorrow"
Ezra p.o.v
Thankfully Kanan left. He can't know. My depression is something that no one will ever know about me. But it doesn't matter. Everything will be over soon. Soon.
