Pushed

Chapter 2

The moment they were in the car Callie's silence disappeared. "What happened?" She asked, her voice filled with uncertainty. "She speaks." Stef said sarcastically. "The doctor just asked us a little bit about our family, you and what you've been going through." Lena said giving Stef a warning look. "Does she think I'm crazy?" Callie asked. "NO." Lena said firmly. "She know's that you're uncomfortable being there. She just wants to help you, we all do." "Well I don't like her." Callie said stubbornly. "Why?" Stef asked. There was no way Callie could make that decision just by sitting silently with the woman for no more than fifteen minutes. She knew that Callie was being difficult and she wanted her to talk about it rather than remain silent and sulk. "I just don't." Callie said, not really having a better reason. The truth was that she would hate any shrink. She didn't need to get to know the person to know that. "That's not a good enough reason." Stef said. "We are going to keep trying with her. You might find her more helpful if you actually spoke to her." Stef was a little irritated at Callie's behavior. No matter what they did to help her Callie would fight them every step of the way and after spending a week constantly on the lookout for her, Stef was getting tired and irritable. She tried to hide it from Lena to allow Lena to relax but she couldn't stop worrying about Callie. She was concerned about her health. Callie was starting to look pale from the lack of eating and the sparkle was missing from her eyes. Her hair had become dull and she had dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep. She was still sleeping in their room but honestly she hadn't been doing much sleeping. Stef was thankful that the pregnancy tired Lena out and she at least managed to sleep through most of Callie's fidgeting but Stef found herself laying awake for hours worrying about her daughter. "Honey next time we'll wait outside for a while while you talk to her." Lena offered, hoping to defuse the situation with Stef. "Will that be better?" "I still won't talk." Callie said defiantly. Stef sighed and Lena reached across the console giving her thigh a squeeze, offering her some solace in the fact that she wasn't fighting this alone. They decided to stop for lunch at one of Callie's favorite restaurants hoping that she would eat something. They drove into Coco's Bakery and headed inside. Stef and Lena placed their order but Callie refused. "I'm not hungry." She said stubbornly. "I won't eat." "Well you need to eat." Stef said. "She'll have a Parmesan Crusted Chicken." Stef said knowing it was Callie's favorite. They ordered drinks as well and as they waited for their food Lena tried to talk to Callie. "Sarah said she wasn't going to rush you into anything." Lena tried to make it sound easier. "She's going to help you find other ways to deal with all you're feeling. "I told you I'm fine." Callie said. "I don't need a shrink." "Honey, you're not fine." Lena said softly. "We want you to be happy. We miss your smile." Callie gave her a forced smile. "Happy?" She asked sarcastically. "Careful Callie." Stef warned. "Mama's just trying to help." "Well I wish everyone would just stop trying to help all the time. It just makes things worse." Callie snapped. "And she's not my mom so stop calling her that." She added just to spite them. Lena looked mildly hurt. She knew that Callie was just angry and lashing out but she wished she wouldn't keep pushing them away. She desperately hoped that they would soon find Robert Quinn and have him sign those damn papers so she could claim her daughter. Stef could sense Lena's pain and reached a hand under the table to her. Lena took it and the two held on silently giving each other strength. "You may not think so but to us we are your moms." Stef said. "Ya well any court would disagree." Callie spat back. "We don't need the court to tell us that Callie." Stef tried to explain just as their food arrived. Stef decided to let it go. She didn't want Callie to get worked up. She'd rather just give in and have Callie eat. But that wasn't to be. Callie stayed true to her word and didn't take a single bite. Stef and Lena began to eat their food and after a few minutes Stef reached out for Callie's arm and held on to it. "Take a bite love." She said gently. "It's your favorite." If Callie had let go of her anger for just a moment she would have realized the meaning behind Stef's words. It wasn't just that they got her something she liked but that they knew what she liked in the first place. She never told them such things which meant that they paid attention to her. They loved her enough to know the things she liked and made the effort to get them for her. But right now all Callie could see was them forcing her to do yet another thing that she didn't want to. "I'm not going to." Callie said stubbornly. "You can't make me." "Callie you barely had three bites of salad for dinner last night and you skipped breakfast this morning. You have to eat something." Stef said, trying to reason with the girl. "I told you I'm not hungry." Callie said. Stef sighed. She knew she had to find a way to get Callie to eat something. "Come on." She tried to encourage again. "And after you can order the coconut cream pie that you love so much." "No thanks." Callie said as she crossed her arms across her chest and leaned back in her chair, as far from the table and food as possible. This time Lena squeezed Stef's hand in comfort. The two finished their own meal in silence, both opting to skip dessert. As Stef asked for the check she also requested a to-go box for Callie's untouched meal. She planned to try again once they got home where she could be more forceful without the risk of causing a scene. One way or another she needed Callie to eat. They drove home in silence all of them worrying about different aspects of the same issue. Stef was thinking about how to get Callie to eat, Callie was plotting ways to avoid Stef's inevitable plan and Lena was dreading how it would all go down. Both her girls were hot-heads and it was always a contest to see who could be stubborn longer. She knew that Stef was right and that Callie needed to eat something before she became so sick that they required medication or possible hospitalization to get her body what it needed, but still she wished that they wouldn't battle. The moment Stef pulled into the driveway Callie jumped out of the car. She wanted to get away from Stef before she tried to get her to eat again. She should have know that even trying would be pointless because she had barely even made it to the first landing before Stef grabbed hold of her arm and guided her down the other side and into the kitchen instead. Lena went upstairs to use the bathroom and wash up. She needed a moment to ready herself for the battle that was about to begin. Stef sat Callie down on a stool at the kitchen table and placed the styrofoam box in front of her then went to get a plate and a glass of orange juice. Callie just sat on the stool staring at the box like it was a bomb, about to explode in her face. Stef opened up the box and put a piece of chicken and some mashed potato on the plate. It wasn't much, not nearly as much as Stef would have liked, but she didn't want to overwhelm Callie at the amount of food. Maybe just a little would go down better. "Come on honey." She said softly as she sat down beside the girl. "Let's just get this over with. It's not much." But Callie just looked from her plate to Stef's face, the determination to be disobedient evident in her face. "Callie, you have to eat something." Stef said, raising a voice slightly. "If you don't want to eat this then tell me what you do want and I'll make it for you." At this stage she'd feed her ice-cream and donuts if that's what it took. "I already told you, I don't want anything." Callie said, her voice also raising. Lena came downstairs just as Callie was talking. She gently rested a hand on the girl's shoulder. "How about a salad?" She asked remembering that Callie at least ate a few bites of it the night before. "Don't bother Lena." Callie said sweetly. "It'll just be wasted like this chicken." "Callie we are going to sit right here until you eat at least one piece of chicken." Stef said sternly. "Don't make promises you can't keep Stef." Callie said cheekily. "Excuse me?" Stef was getting angry now. "You have to go to work in a few hours. I, on the other hand, have nowhere to be. I can sit here all day long." Callie smirked. Stef had just about had it with Callie. "Fine." She yelled angrily. "You want to starve yourself, go ahead." She picked up the plate from in front of Callie and practically threw it into the sink, breaking it in half. "Go do whatever you want." She added in exasperation. Callie was momentarily taken aback. Was Stef really giving up on her? The thought both excited and terrified her. On the one had she would get some space and privacy that she was craving but on the other, these were the only people there for her. What would happen to her if they just gave up completely. The latter thought won out and showed on Callie's face. She tried to hide it as she turned around to head upstairs but it didn't go unnoticed by either woman. "You still have to stay where I can see you Callie." Stef said, in a slightly softer tone. Callie didn't turn back to face her but her worried expression disappeared as relief filled her face. They were still there. She never thought that hearing someone order her like that would make her happy. Callie headed to the breakfast nook and started fidgeting on her phone while Stef went to clean up the broken plate. "Honey why don't you go take a bath and let me do that." Lena told her wife, knowing that she could use some time alone. "I'm fine Lena." Stef said. She didn't want Lena to be left with the mess to clean up. As soon as she was done here she'd get them all upstairs and things would hopefully calm down. An hour later Lena and Callie were both in bed. Callie no longer put up a fuss about sleeping in their room but she still wasn't too happy about it. Once they were both asleep Stef headed back downstairs and out to the back yard. She sat down in a chair with her face to the sun and closed her eyes. Everything was so peaceful out here, it was almost like another world entirely. Suddenly everything had become so dark for them and they were all struggling to find some light but right now, for these few minutes, Stef was at peace. As she finally let her emotions catch up to her as she felt the tears slowly trickle down her cheeks. "You okay babe." She heard Lena's gentle voice. Stef quickly opened her eyes and tried to wipe them dry but Lena beat her to it. "What are you thinking?" Lena asked her as she sat on the arm of Stef's chair. Stef pulled Lena down into her lap and gently rubbed her hand on Lena's stomach where their baby lay. "I'm so tired." She finally admitted. "I feel like we're taking one step forward but two steps back. Why is it so hard?" "Maybe if you let me help." Lena said gently. Stef looked up at her in confusion. "What?" "You don't have to take it all on yourself Stef." Lena smiled. "I'm here with you. I can take some of the pressure off." "You're pregnant." Stef said. She knew that stress wasn't good for pregnant women and she didn't want anything to harm Lena or the baby." "Yes babe, pregnant, not dying." Lena laughed. "I'm her mom too you know." Stef suddenly looked worried. "I didn't mean that you weren't her m..." She began but Lena cut her off. "I know honey." Lena smiled. "That's not what I meant. It's just okay for you to need a break sometimes. Let someone else deal with the mess for a while." Stef closed her eyes, thinking about what Lena said. "The last time I left the mess with you she knocked you down to the ground." Stef said in a mixture of misery and humor. Lena smiled. "She's not a mess, and she didn't knock me down. She held..." "Held on to you." Stef said along with her. "I know, I know, you've told me a hundred times." She rolled her eyes up at her wife. "I know you worry babe." Lena continued. "And I love you so much for that but you're not Superwoman." They both smiled. "No matter what you may think." "I never thought I was Superwoman." Stef said seriously. "I prefer to think of myself as Wonder Woman." Both of them laughed as Lena leaned down and kissed Stef. This was the most relaxed she had seen her wife in days. A few minutes later they both headed back upstairs. Neither of them wanted to leave Callie alone for too long.