Pushed

Chapter 4

"I told Brandon to keep an eye on Callie." Lena said as they made themselves comfortable on the couch.
"Good thinking." Stef said. "Your Ph.D really is doing us wonders." She added after a pause. "What are you talking about?" Lena asked. "I tried to get her to eat all day but she didn't listen." Stef explained. "Then you come up with your compromise and she managed to eat four carrots and drink a whole glass of juice." Lena smiled. "She takes it as a challenge to defy you." She said. "So I've noticed." Stef laughed back. "She really loves you, you know." Lena said softly. "She loves us both." Stef replied. "I know, but she has a connection with you." Lena said and Stef looked at her waiting for her to continue. "She admires you." Stef raised her eyebrows up at Lena. "It's true." Lena said. "You can see it in her eyes. She looks up to you and I'd bet she want's to be just like you - strong, stable, independent." Stef looked down at her hands slightly embarrassed. She wasn't good with compliments. "She's already a lot like you." Lena continued. "Yeah, hot-headed and stubborn." Stef joked. "Among other things." Lena said, ignoring the joking and keeping the conversation serious. "You both do whatever it takes to protect those that you love and you both carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. But you also both love unconditionally and look after the people you love." Stef looked up at Lena then. Trying to see if Lena really meant all that she had said. And Lena smiled at her kindly. "You should see the way she looks at you." Lena said. "Even when she pretends that she doesn't want you around. When you hug her she actually relaxes into you. When you're mad at her she looks miserable. If you look into her eyes, past all the anger and attitude you'll see it." "So I'm never supposed to be mad at her?" Stef asked raising an eyebrow. "No." Lena said. "I'm not asking for the impossible." She added to lighten the mood. "But keep showing her that you love her. Even when you're mad at her." "I do." Stef argued. "I know you do. You always do." Lena assured her. "Just remember it. You may just actually be her Wonder Woman. Don't let her loose that trust in you." "Way to lay the pressure on." Stef teased. She was done with this conversation - it was getting too emotional. "I love you Stef." Lena said as she snuggled closer to her and rested her head on her shoulder. "Everything about you." The following morning Lena got up to get the kids ready up for school and start breakfast. Stef and Callie were still fast asleep and she decided to let them be. They were anyways staying home since Stef was taking mornings off to stay home with Callie. Just as Lena was about to leave the room she suddenly remembered that Stef was supposed to have gone into work the evening before. She raced around the bed and shook Stef gently. "What is it babe?" Stef asked, looking towards Callie. "She's fine." Lena said as she sat down. "Weren't you supposed to go into work yesterday?" Stef smiled at the worried look on Lena's face. "I called and cancelled while you two were asleep." Stef told her. "I wanted to be here with you guys. I'm going to take a couple of night shifts instead since Callie's been sleeping through the night for the last two nights." The worried look on Lena's face only intensified. "Night shift?" She asked disgustedly. She hated when Stef had the night shift. It was always the worst. "It's fine love." Stef told her. "I'm back with Mike now so it won't be so bad." Lena didn't look convinced but nodded anyways and went back to the tasks she needed to do. Stef sighed. She knew how much Lena hated it when they had the night shift but this way she wasn't leaving Lena for hours at a time to deal with Callie by herself. She also needed the rest and each time they went to the doctor for a checkup she reminded them that Lena needed to take things a little easy. Stef and Lena allowed Callie to sleep until the other kids left for school. Lena was downstair making breakfast and Stef stayed upstairs talking with Mariana and the boys as they got dressed. She felt like lately she was so busy keeping Callie together that she had hardly spent much time with the others. Though none of them complained at all. They were all aware of Callie's difficulties and were extremely supportive of her. "When is she coming back to school?" Mariana asked as she did her hair. "We're not sure about that yet." Stef told her. "We need to make sure she won't hurt herself before we let her return." "What if we kept an eye on her." Mariana asked. Stef knit her brows together silently questioning her daughter. "She mentioned something last night." Mariana explained. "What did she say?" Stef asked. "That she was sorry and that she wouldn't do it again but she just wanted to get out of the house. And not just to see a doctor." Mariana said. "What else did she say?" Stef asked hoping that she'd get some insight into what the girl was hiding from them. "Nothing really." Mariana said. "She apologized to me for yelling at me after I told you what she'd done." Stef nodded, remembering how bad things had gotten after that fight. "Well yesterday was a trial separation." Stef explained to Mariana. "We're checking to see if she really is safe if left alone." "We could help you know." Mariana said as she turned her attention from her hair to her mom. "We care about her too and we wouldn't let her do anything bad to herself." Stef looked like she was about to argue but Mariana cut her off. "I know I kept it from you the last time and I'm sorry for that but I know better now. I didn't think it was as serious as it is. That won't happen again. And once I did realize it I told mama right away." Mariana said. "That you did." Stef agreed. "Let me talk to mama about it and we'll see." Stef said as she got up and walked over to her daughter to plant a kiss on her head before going to check on her boys. She headed to Jesus and Jude's room next. Jude was completely ready, sitting on his bed to tie his shoes. Jesus on the other hand was only wearing his pants so far and busy texting on his phone; bed still unmade and pajamas discarded on the floor. "Hey buddy I'm gonna take that phone away if you don't put it down right now and get ready." Stef said as she took a seat beside Jude. Jesus groaned but put his phone down and rummaged through his closet for a t-shirt. "How are you doing bud?" Stef asked as she turned to Jude. "I'm okay." Jude said. He had finished tying his shoes and was ready to go downstairs but Stef held on to his hands. "You know that Callie is getting the help that she needs yes?" She asked him. Jude slowly nodded looking uncertain. "I know it's scary and you're afraid for her but we are not going to let anything happen to her." Stef promised. "I know, it's just..." Jude began. "It's just what love?" Stef asked. "She looks so different." Jude observed. "She looks broken." Stef gave him a sad smile. "That she does baby." She said as she pulled him close. "But you know that may not be such a bad thing." Jude gave her a confused look and she had to smile. "She's always been so brave and strong because she needed to protect the two of you and make sure that you guys had what you needed." Stef explained. "Now she finally feels safe enough to break down a little and let someone else take care of her instead." She gave Jude a moment to think about what she had said before continuing. "We are talking care of her and we will get her through this." Stef promised. "Don't you doubt that for a second." Jude stood up and hugged Stef then. "Thanks for wanting us even though we're all messed up." He said into her shoulder and Stef found herself hugging him tighter. She gave him a kiss before sending him downstairs for breakfast and turning to her other son. Jesus was dressed now and making the bed. "Better hurry or you won't have time for breakfast." Stef told him. "Almost done he said as he grabbed his shoes and shoved his feet into them. Stef watched him pick up his backpack and dash out the door, his hair still a mess and his pajamas still on the floor. "Boys..." She mumbled to herself as she picked up the clothes and placed them folded on the bed. She headed to Brandon's room but found it empty. He was already downstairs. She knew he wanted to get to school early so he could practice for an audition. He preferred to practice there because no one disturbed him. In a house of seven it wasn't often that it was quiet enough to really concentrate on something. Stef headed back to her own room to check on Callie. She was still fast asleep and Stef was so relieved to see that. Last night was only the second night that Callie had managed to sleep though the night. Before that she would wake up and toss for hours. Stef wondered if it was because her body was getting so weak that she couldn't stay awake any longer. She was so glad that their next appointment with Sarah was the next day - Stef has so many questions she needed answered. After breakfast all the kids came back upstairs to say bye to Stef before heading out to school. Then Lena went to wake Callie. They wanted her to eat something before Lena had to leave for her doctor's appointment. They knew that it would be a struggle but hopefully there would be success like the night before. Lena made french toast, something she knew Callie loved. Callie had told them a while ago that the first time she ever ate it was in this house and she loved it. Lena hoped that it would help get Callie to eat. "Wake up baby." Lena said as she stroked Callie's head gently. Callie slowly opened her eyes and Lena smiled down at her. "Good morning." Lena said as she kissed Callie. "Morning." Callie mumbled, rubbing her eyes. She was so tired all the time. Even after sleeping for hours she was still tired. "Go brush your teeth and then we'll go have breakfast okay." Lena said hoping that Callie wouldn't make a fuss. "Callie got up and headed to the bathroom and Stef entered the room. "Mariana said that Callie want's to go back to school." Stef told Lena. "We can't send her." Lena said looking worried. "We don't even send her to the bathroom without checking up on her." "I know." Stef said but she had been thinking about what Mariana had said and she wanted to try it. "But maybe we could do something like last night. Let her go out with the kids. There are enough of them to keep an eye out for her and it'll be good for her to get away from us." If they hadn't been so worried about the idea they might have joked about the face that it would probably be good for them too. But right now neither of them were that relaxed. "What do you suggest?" Lena asked. "Maybe send them for a movie or the bowling alley." Stef said. "Mariana already promised to watch her and Brandon and Jesus will keep an eye on her too. Besides I don't think she'd do anything with Jude close by anyways." "Let's see what the doctor says tomorrow." Lena suggested. Stef smiled. "That's what I said to Mariana. Ten minutes later they were downstairs trying to convince Callie to eat something. Apart from two french toasts Lena had cut up a nectarine and filled her a glass of juice. There was also cereal incase Callie wanted that. But so far Callie had refused to eat anything. "Callie honey please eat something." Lena said softly. Four baby carrots and a glass of apple juice wasn't enough in over twenty-four hours. "I'm not hungry." Callie said. "We know that's not true Callie." Stef said pulling up her chair close to Callie. "Sweetheart you can really get sick like this." Lena said. "It's dangerous, what you're doing." "I'm fine." Callie said. "No, you're not." Stef replied. "Callie if you think that starving yourself is going to help then you're wrong. It'll only make things worse." "I'm not starving myself." Callie said. "I ate dinner last night." "Callie four carrots isn't dinner." Stef said flatly. "Callie can you tell us why you don't want to eat?" Lena asked her. "And don't say that it's because you aren't hungry." Stef added. Callie sat silently staring at her plate. "Come on love." Stef pushed the plate closer to her. "You love French toast." "No I don't." Callie said as tears began to fall down her face. Stef reached out for her but she got up and ran out to the back yard. The sudden rush making her feel giddy and before she could reach the back gate she fell into the grass. Stef and Lena were right behind her. "Callie are you alright?" Lena asked as Stef helped Callie into the sitting position. "I'm fine." Callie said. "I tripped." But she knew that neither of them would buy that. The truth was that she was hungry and she felt weak and tired but she just needed something to defy them about. Anything to keep them at arms length. She had to protect herself, at least until her adoption came through and she was sure that nothing could take her away again. "Callie, you're not fine." Stef said forcefully, holding back her own tears. She could see just how weak Callie was and she could see the sadness in her eyes. She remembered what Lena had told her the night before - about Callie needing her to be close. She decided to try something she hadn't done since Mariana came to live with them over eight years ago. "Lena could you please get Callie's plate." Stef said as she pulled Callie closer and held her to her chest as Callie continued to cry. A moment later Lena came back with the plate and set it down next to them and sat down herself. She had no idea what Stef was planning but she could already see the relief on Callie's face, just being in Stef's arms. Lena could relate to that, Stef's embrace always make her feel safe and loved too. Stef continued to hold Callie close and whispered that she was going to be just fine. She repeated the things she had said the night before in the bathroom about how strong Callie was and how much she was loved until Callie's crying subsided. Then, without releasing Callie she cut a piece of the french toast and tried to feed Callie like a child. At first Callie refused to open her mouth. "Please baby." Stef said softly to her. "You can do this. I know you can." Callie shook her head as the tears began to fall again. "Don't say no." Stef said. "You're stronger than this. Please baby." Callie continued to cry but built up the courage to take the bite. She buried her face in Stef's chest as she slowly chewed the small bite. Both Lena and Stef looked at each other with relief across their faces. Lena quickly took the fork and cut the french toast into small pieces so that it was easier for Stef to get to. They both wanted to get as much into Callie before things changed again. Stef continued to talk to Callie as she fed her piece after piece, keeping them small so that it was easier for her to swallow. Callie had finished almost a whole toast when she finally said she was done. "I can't eat anymore. Please." She practically begged with tears in her eyes. "Okay." Stef said immediately. She didn't want to discourage a good thing. If they didn't force her then maybe Callie would be able to eat again after a while. "You did great baby. I'm so proud of you." Stef said as she hugged Callie close. Lena smiled as she watched Callie's arms slip around Stef. She swore that if she didn't know any better she would assume that they were biologically mother and daughter. Lena took the plate away while Stef continued to sit with Callie. If the closeness really was helping her then Stef didn't want to take it away right after Callie had overcome a huge hurdle. A few minutes later Lena returned with the glass of apple juice. "Here, drink some of this." Lena said as she handed the glass to Callie. She decided to make it a statement rather than a question and was pleasantly surprised when Callie took it and drank it down quickly. A little too quickly though because before she could finish the glass she began to cough uncontrollably. Stef sat her upright and patted her back until she finally stopped coughing. "You okay love?" She asked and Callie nodded. "I don't want anything more, please." Callie whispered. "Okay." Stef said. "Nothing more." It was already progress and they were willing to take what they could get. Callie had eaten two bites short of a whole french toast and more than half a glass of juice. It wasn't really a substantial breakfast but it definitely was a substantial improvement.