Pushed

Chapter 14

Lena headed into her office and as Callie's teachers walked by she spoke with each of them to remind them that Callie was back and that they needed to keep a check on her. Every one of them promised that they wouldn't let her out of their sight. She was so thankful to be surrounded by people who truly cared about the kids as much as she did. Yes, Callie was her own daughter but she'd do this for any kid in her school and she knew that the teacher would too.
But as the morning passed and Lena checked on Callie a few times by passing her classes she found her thoughts drifting instead to Stef. Though they had had a moment the night before and several conversation about the kids and the plans for the day, they weren't quite in the place she wanted them to be yet and her thoughts drifted to the last time they had a fight and Stef went out on a job. She couldn't get the image of Stef, lying in a hospital bed covered in blood with a tube sticking out of the throat, out of her mind and suddenly she regretted not giving her a kiss before she left. With her job you never knew what would happen. How could she just let her go into that without making up. Eventually the thoughts got too much for Lena and she decided to call Stef. "Is everything okay?" Stef asked as she picked up. Lena sighed. Stef's thoughts were only on Callie. "Yes." Lena answered her. "She came in during break and has gone from class to class with no issues. She'll be by in an hour again for lunch."
"Oh good." Stef said. "Thanks for letting me know."
It kind of hurt Lena that that's the only reason Stef wanted to hear from her. Lately nothing but the kids seemed to cross Stef's mind at all. Just a week ago the two still seemed like newly weds, hugging and kissing and whispering, even thought they had been together for over ten years but in the last week they were more like two strangers doing their jobs. Stef and Lena hadn't talked about the baby or anything else in so long that Lena was starting to worry.
"Honey can we talk." Lena said softly. She needed Stef to know how she felt. "About what?" Stef asked. "Us." Lena said. "I hate this place that we're in." Stef sighed. She hated it too but lately she didn't know what to do. She felt like she was losing control and she hated it. She was supposed to protect her family but she was failing miserably at it. She wasn't being a good mother to her kids and she wasn't being a good wife to Lena. Failure never sat well with Stef and she tended to get overworked and angry when that happened. Before Stef could reply Lena heard some commotion over the phone - obviously something had happened and all units were being called out. "Honey I gotta go." Stef said hurriedly and hung up before Lena could stop her. 'She didn't even say bye.' Lena thought to herself. 'She usually ends a call with 'bye, I love you.' Tears filled Lena's eyes as she began to worry about where Stef was going and what kind of situation she was heading into. She hoped that Stef would be safe. Thought she knew that Stef was usually a rational person, especially at work, she was over stressed lately and Lena worried that her judgement was off. She couldn't wait to hear back from Stef but until then she'd just have to get through the day and wait to see her in another few hours. Callie on the other hand, started out her day quite pleasantly. She found that she hadn't missed too much since Brandon had brought her work back all week and Wyatt was going a great job of distracting her that she was actually enjoying herself. She went from one class to the next quickly and Wyatt walked with her even when they had to go different ways and her first check with Lena had gone smoothly. Luckily for her Lena wasn't 'checking' her and apart from that she seemed pretty distracted so when she saw Callie smiling and Wyatt with her she let Callie go. But things began to go downhill slowly. She began to realize that all the kids were watching her and whispering and the fact that the teacher's constantly reminded her to head straight to her next class didn't help at all. "They think you went back to juvie." Wyatt explained when he saw Callie glance around her. "What? Why?" Callie asked shocked. She assumed that they thought she was sick or something. "They generally assume the worst of people." Wyatt replied. "Great." Callie mumbled. "So... why were you out?" Wyatt asked. "Brandon told me that you weren't doing so good and that you had to stay with your moms. What does that mean?" Callie looked at Wyatt. If anyone would understand her life it would be him but she worried that this would be too much even for him to understand. "Um. I guess I was kind of depressed because I couldn't get adopted and so they stayed home with me for a week until I felt better." She told him, not really lying but not telling him the whole truth either. "Right." Wyatt said, knowing she was keeping the important stuff out. What Callie liked most about Wyatt was that he let things go. He could see that she didn't want to talk about it so he didn't pry. "So lunch?" He asked. "Um, I'm not that hungry and I gotta go see Lena first but I'll come sit with you." Callie offered. At least one good thing was that no one would hound her about lunch anymore. All she had to worry about was breakfast and dinner. But she was wrong because less than five minutes after they walked into the house Stef confronted her about it. "How was lunch?" Stef asked in a tone that Callie knew meant that she already knew the truth. "Um..." Callie began, shocked that somehow her mom's had found out. "What? Did you not think we'd get to know?" Stef questioned. Callie didn't know what to say. She was angry that the one place she thought she'd get some freedom become just another prison for her. But she was also scared that she'd be made to stay home again. She had to leave for her appointment in less than ten minutes and she worried that Sarah would say that she wasn't ready for this step. "Sweetheart why didn't you eat?" Lena asked. "You promised that you'd eat something for each meal." When Lena found out after lunch break that Callie hadn't eaten from her assistant she began to feel guilty. She had been so focused on Stef and what she was called into that she hadn't checked on Callie like she had originally planned. But this minor setback gave her the perfect excuse to check up on Stef.
"Apparently she didn't eat." Lena said when Stef picked up the phone. Lena heard Stef sigh over the phone. "Where are you?" Lena asked, hoping to get some information out of her. "Back at the station." Stef answered. "Paperwork." "Oh, okay." Lena said, trying to hide the relief out of her voice. She knew Stef hated being behind her desk at all and would much rather be out patrolling the neighborhood but Lena longed for the times when Stef was forced to do just that. "I'll see you at home and we'll deal with her then." Stef said. "Okay. Bye honey." Lena said. "Bye." Stef said and hung up. Once again there was no 'love you'. Fifteen minutes later the three of them were driving to the doctor's. None of them saying anything and the tension was building. Lena was still feeling disconnected from Stef and Stef swung between feeling angry with Callie and worried about her. Callie was just worried and scared. "Callie if this doesn't stop we're going to have to try something new." Stef said softly. She wasn't trying to frighten Callie but she wanted her to know just how serious this was getting. Callie didn't say anything but when Stef looked back at her in the rear-view mirror she saw tears in the girl's eyes. Stef and Lena shared a look before Stef pulled over to the side of the road and Lena quickly hopped out and got in the back with Callie. She sat in the middle seat and buckled up as Stef continued to drive. Stef watched as Lena maneuvered Callie into a position where she could hold her though the teen wasn't making it easy. "Honey, we aren't trying to scare you and we are not going to abandon you but if it does come to that we will do whatever we have to to get you the help you need." Lena said softly to Callie. Through the first half of Callie's session they talked about the progress that Callie was making and all the hurdles and setbacks she had had. "So Callie why did you skip lunch today?" Sarah asked her. "I just wasn't hungry." Callie answered. "We talked about this last time remember." Sarah reminded her. "You promised to eat just a little even when you weren't hungry." "I forgot." Callie said, making things as difficult as she could. "She tries to skip as many meals as she can." Stef said, giving Callie a warning glare. "When was her last proper meal?" Sarah asked. "Well she ate a whole sandwich yesterday." Stef said. "But it wasn't large by any means and I can't really think of anything else I would call a proper meal." "Sometimes when we can't get her to cooperate we manage to get her some yogurt." Lena added. Sarah noticed the tension in Stef's face when Lena mentioned this. She knew that something was wrong and she guessed that all this was taking a toll on both women and their relationship. "Callie, could you wait outside for a bit?" Sarah asked. "I'd like to talk to your mom's." Callie looked worriedly at Sarah. She hated it when they spoke about her and she wasn't there. She never knew what was being said. "Don't worry honey. Everything will be fine." Stef encouraged her. "Are you two okay?" Sarah asked once the door closed behind Callie. "We're fine." Stef said, not expecting the conversation to take this turn. Lena's face fell at Stef's answer. They were definitely not fine and they needed some help. Her expression didn't go unnoticed by Sarah. "What about you Lena?" She asked. "How do you feel?" "Well..." Lena began, knowing that Stef wouldn't appreciate the diversion from the topic at had. "Look I know that it's hard to watch someone you love go through this much pain." Sarah explained. "And I know that it can affect the other areas of your lives as well but you guys need to be honest with each other if you want this to work." Stef looked at Sarah not liking this at all. They weren't here to talk about them, they were there to talk about Callie and how to help her. And if Stef was honest with herself she would admit that she wasn't ready to deal with her own emotions and insecurities yet. She needed to keep them in check so that she could be there for Callie. Lena, on the other hand needed to work things out with Stef. She was so worried about where they were headed and the last thing she wanted was for this to cause a rift between them. She knew how passionate Stef was about helping people, especially her family, and that she would never intentionally hurt any of them but Lena couldn't help but feel like Stef was no longer around for her anymore. "Lena why don't you start." Sarah said, knowing that she had something she wanted to say. "I need you two to be honest with each other no matter how difficult that may be. We'll work through whatever issues that come up and we'll get everything sorted. But I need you to be honest for that."