Swapped

Chapter 35

Joy

The building looked kind of creepy but I decided to get out because I saw his car. I walked in and sat in the back row and searched the room for him. I didn’t see him at first but then there he was taking the stage. “Hi everyone this my first time taking the stage. I don’t know why. I guess because today is the anniversary of the day a really good person committed suicide, and it was my fault." He paused letting his words sink in. Then he continued. "When I was in high school there was a girl and she then wasn't the prettiest girl to me because she wasn't skinny nor did she have perfect hair , or wear makeup every day. She didn't have the most expensive clothes or the news Nike's. Wasn't I superficial.  She was in love with me. That girl would have done anything for me for all the right reasons but I betrayed her for all the wrong reasons. Now I see her.  She was so sweet, smelled like warm vanilla, she was funny, smart and perfect , but now is to late because she is dead. You guys  I was a pretty obnoxious kid. I was self centered and conceited and I loved attention and I wanted to stay popular. So I recorded her performing a very personal act and I shared it with all my friends." Again he paused because he got a little choked  up. "It destroyed her. One act and my life changed forever. She couldn’t take it she went to the top of our apartment building and she jumped six stories” There was mumbling and gasped. “I was there I begged and pleaded for her not to jump, but she did. I think in a way that moment" he punched his fist into his palm, then took the mic from it's stand as he continued "I go to that spot once a month and I stand on that same ledge and I debate on jumping. Then one day  I realized that would be so easy and I guess I'm punishing myself because I don't think I deserve easy. I was the reason someone took a life, I was reason someone said this is to hard and I don't want to do it anymore. So now I choose life.   Instead of death I counsel kids I try to tell them how to be decent, you know the stuff not to do. The world has a funny way of setting things right. Some call it Karma some call it Devine intervention. See I met someone once and I let her in, and  I don't do that, I laugh now at the irony. She tricked me into loving her and then she recorded me thinking I was sleeping with her but nope IT WAS A MAN!” This really got the crowd going. A elderly woman in front of me yelled "ouch," the  black guy across from me said "I'd of killed that bitch!"
"Shit why he ain't in jail"  A white guy said   under  his breath. Causing a little laughter from the back of the room. I felt bad for him. “I will die  alone, and I'm okay with that. This is my miserable, pathetic life but it's mine, I created it.  I hope in some way it helped someone” he abruptly placed the mic back and strutted off the stage and out the door. I sat there for a second stunned at how fucked up his story was. I don’t remember getting up but I did and I ran after him ‘Hey, hey” I yelled. He turned around and looked shocked and then embarrassed to see me. He stood there for a second looking down while I caught my breath. Finally in between huffs and puffs I said “Khalil I know you” He looked at me oddly and frowned. “I mean I get you” I said. He looked confused at first until I said “Would you like to have dinner with me.”

“Depends, are you going to tell me your name” he asked? “Since you know so much about me” he said.

“Yeah I kind of feel like we have a lot in common and I don’t know about you but friends are far and few between.

He looked me up and down and sighed. The fact was I was drawn to this man. I had been alone for a good six years and I preferred it that way. Most of the people that bothered getting to know me tended to bail once they knew my story. “The thing is Khalil I been going to church a lot and trying to get closer to God because he is pretty much the only person that can stand me. I prayed to him because I’m lonely and I’m not looking for a man, Lord no. Just a friend because I made a mistakes and I refuse to believe that I am the person people see. I made a mistake and people do that you know?” I didn’t mean to get emotional but I did. Then I felt incredibly stupid and vulnerable because Id just poured my heart out to a complete stranger. Was I insane what the heck was I doing here.  “Maybe this was a bad idea” I said as he stared at me awkwardly.  “Yea” I turned swiftly to walk away but he grabbed my arm.