Swapped

Chapter 38

Joy

“Well how was she” I asked when he got out the car. I could tell he was a little teary eyed, but I tried not to make a big deal out of it. He came in shrugging his shoulders at my question. I could tell he was lost in his thoughts so I said nothing I just sat beside him and started rubbing his shoulders. Some times it was just nice to feel the presence of some one else. Khalil was a different type of man; although he appeared to be strong he really was having a hard time. I could tell because I had moments like this to. He leaned over and suddenly he started to cry. I hate to see a man cry. Tears instantly sprang from my eyes too and I slid in his lap invading his space. I put his head on my chest and rubbed his back while he cried. When he calmed down he looked at me embarrassed “You think I’m a p-“before he could finish his sentence I cut him off “I think you’re a strong man that is not afraid to show his feelings” I said cupping his face “I need you the way you are, okay” he nodded and said nothing he just kept staring at me and suddenly his lips touched mine. Sparks!  The sweetest kiss in the world and I panicked. I wanted to feel it  but I forgot how to. I broke it off and slid out his lap putting distance between us. My hands were shaking now. I was afraid and I didn’t know why. “Did I do something wrong Joy” he asked?

“No its not you Khalil I think I’m broken. I want to feel close to someone but I don’t know how to just feel. Does that sound crazy” I asked? He pulled me to him and said

“Let me show you how to feel” and he kissed me again. This time more passionately than before and I felt something all right! He looked at me and said “Joy you can trust me, you can feel and act and be whoever you want around me. I won’t judge you and I won’t leave you.” He said kissing my forehead.

This was very new, very, very new. We had   connected instantly and we started calling each other every day. He drove to me I drove to him and it had been less than a month but we could not get enough of each other and there had been little to no physical contact. He seemed as afraid of me to go that next step and I was okay with it. Now I think I would have been okay with him ripping my clothes off but he had pulled away and now he had me wrapped in a big bear hug. “Khalil I feel the same way. I don’t care about anything else I just want to be here for you.” He smiled at me and done something that blew my mind he took my hands and he prayed for us. He prayed that God blessed us and the people around us. He prayed that he bonded us and that we both do his will. “My mother use to say good things come to people that do God’s will. That’s how she protected me in her way. She said as long as you do God’s will he will protect you Khalil.” He said to me as he looked in my eyes. He had told me his mother did not see much of him once his father had put her out but now she stayed minutes away and he said he needed her more now because she was a praying mother and he needed people praying for his soul.

“I need that to” I said.

“Oh then it’s settled I will take you to meet her tomorrow” What! My eyes grew large. I imagined she would hate me because of who I was. I really don’t do people.

“One day Joy  things are going to be different.” Khalil said I wasn’t sure what he meant by that all I knew was this woman was sure to hate me.

The next day Khalil and I cooked a huge meal packed it up and headed to his moms. She answered the door with her apron on and ushered us in. She already had a whole meal prepared. She tossed me an onion “Chop this up sugar and put it in that blue bowl” she said to me and I started chopping eyeing her at the same time as she told Khalil “take that trash out then get out my kitchen this womens work I’m sure you will find something around here to do.” He gave me a smile and left me to the wolves. Less then two minutes later I was surrounded by a group of older women all giving me the eye. Finally his mother June said “Well I guess it’s up to me to address the elephant in the room” I braced myself as she began.