Insert Chaos Here | ✓

Chapter 18.

The lunch room was bustling with activity as I avoided James' gaze. These past few days had been hell, he wouldn't speak to me. Only watch me.

I had taken it upon myself to clear up my past in hopes that i would be ready for James. I knew i loved him, i knew that i loved his kiss. But i wasn't ready to truly be with James Cassidy, and he was getting impatient.

My eyes traveled the cafeteria before landing on a certain someone that would help me. With all the drama I'd forgotten about him, but not today. Jason Atlas, the first person i found in bed with someone else.

My legs got up on their own and my body moved with them as i made the way to his table, a few girls and boys sat around him as he ate and talked. I stood in front of him, hands planted on the table as i leaned over and glared at the boy.

He ignored my expression when he saw me and smiled, "Ivy, what's up" he asked, in hopes that i had forgiven him.  This only fueled my anger.

"I just wanted to remind you of this shit you've done, in a civilized manner" my voice was on the edge of cold, in fact it was probably already frozen. The boy seemed to realize i wasn't joking and he shut up.

"You dated me for seven months, told me you loved me, and then slept with a girl who you probably contracted multiple STD's from, just thought I'd remind you" i told him. He began to apologize but i turned the other way. I was going to walk away, i really was.

Then something snapped.

I turned back around "actually fuck civilized" i cut myself off, taking his friends chocolate milk, opening it, and dumping it on Jason's perfectly styled hair.

With that i walked off, mission one done. I only had a few more things to do.

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Blonde hair.

Blonde hair.

Blonde hair.

My eyes finally landed on a sandy blonde head of hair. Regret filled my features as i walked towards him. I was no better then James, i had used Marcus to my advantage without thinking of his feelings. I turned the boy around with a tap on the shoulder.

He smiled upon seeing me but frowned when he realized i wasn't here to chat.

"Marcus, i have to apologize. I was talking to you because i was trying to get over someone i loved. I'm so sorry, i should have been looking out for your feelings too, but i wasn't. I hope we can still be friends" I frowned as i tucked my hair behind my ear.

I was ready to be yelled at like i had yelled at James, but i didn't hear any harsh words. When i looked up Marcus was smiling, as if it was a joke to him.

"Um Ivy, i wanted to introduce you to my boyfriend" he said, eyebrows raised as he pulled another boy to his side. Instantly i realized I'd made a big mistake.

Obviously he didn't like me, he was gay. And i would have known it if I'd listened. My mouth formed an "O" as the boy laughed it off and i attempted to smile along with him.

"I am so sorry" i said, he shook his head to let me know it didn't matter. "That's not important, go get your man" he told me. I smiled at the boy, he was right. I needed to tell James that i loved him too, formally this time.

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James' P.O.V.

Fucking hell.

I should have done something, i should have ran after her. Now i was stuck grieving because i knew the girl was tired of me. But i couldn't blame her.

She must have caught me staring at her because she stood up from her lunch table. Rather then walking towards me she walked towards her ex-boyfriend. One that was stupid.

Stupid in the fact that he had cheated on Ivy.

Don't get me wrong, i wasn't smart. I'd practically done the same thing. The difference was that I had realized that i loved her, And i had tried my best to apologize. The idiot she was talking to had never said a word after his mistake.

Mistake for him that is, not me. In fact, i could almost thank him. If he hadn't screwed up then i wouldn't have been able to meet the girl that now took over all my thoughts.

That reminded me, why was Ivy talking tot he boy? Surely she couldn't forgive him if she couldn't forgive me. She had sort of admitted to loving me... in a 'rude' way.

However that works.

Only Ivy Senten can try to make the words 'I love you' sound blatantly disrespectful... and fail.

I was getting madder like always as she spoke to the boy, whose expression had changed. She turned to walk away, and i could almost see the anger etched across her face as she turned back around, picked up a boys drink, and dumped it on the idiots head.

That earned a laugh from me. My table turned to see what was happening, joining in on the laughter as Ivy walked out of the room. I would have went after her if something hadn't kept me in my seat.

Something being the feeling she was sending me a message. She might have run off, and she might have accused me of lying to her again. But she knew i loved her. She was going to tie up her loose ends and I was expected to do the same. So that's what i would do.

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"Let me use the fucking microphone" I demanded, the boy in glasses glaring up at me as i tried to convince him to let me use the speaker. After a few minutes he agreed, just to shut me up.

I confidently took the mic and turned it one, breathing slowly as i blinked a few times. This was for the best. This was for what mattered most right now. This was for all the people who i damaged.

This was for Ivy.

"Uh, James Cassidy here" My voice rang out around the school as I began to talk, knowing that the whole school could hear me. The boy sitting in front of me rolled his eyes.

"I'm here to announce that, I'm sorry" i said, sincerity lacing my voice as i tried to find a way to truly apologize, To speak my thoughts. "I'm sorry for using so many people. I'm sorry for trying to be someone i wasn't. Hell, I'm even sorry to Lia because i almost tried to sleep with you when I didn't love you. Because there's only one person I've ever loved that's standing in these halls right now.

Ivy Fucking Senten".