We Are Meant To Be

The Doctors visit

It's been three weeks since the incident. Pha and I have moved into Kit's old apartment. He still owns it and was renting it out. Lucky for us it's been empty for the last two months so we were able to move right in.

I can't bring myself to go back to the house. It's infuriating. I love my house. Our memories are there but now new memories are there and I'm afraid. That woman hasn't been caught yet. We have no idea when she'll show up or what she'll do. Every time I fall asleep I think "will I wake up?"  When Pha leaves for work I wonder "will he come home to me. Will she take him, will she hurt him, will she kill him." These thoughts plague me 24/7.

I hate feeling this way. I've started going to a therapist. He hasn't really been helpful but he's nice and lets me complain so I don't have to to Kit or Pha. Although they would listen and they would comfort me, I feel like it's too much to put on their shoulders.

I have an appointment today as a matter of fact. One for my health and well-being. I just hope that it gets the results I want. I need to clear my mind. I need to release my fears. I need to confront everything head on. Su su na Beam!

I come into the kitchen and Pha is at the table eating breakfast. He has to work today. You would think after what happened they'd give us the same days off but they don't, some crap about favoritism. So here we are Pha working on my day off. My therapist wants us to come together one day. We shall see.

"What are you plans today babe?" he asks over his coffee.

"I have an appointment today and then Kitty and I are going to have lunch together." I explain.

"How are your sessions going? Are they helping?" He asks as he puts down his coffee.

"Hmmm I'm not sure. I mean what could he really do to help? It's not all in my mind. My fears are rational."

"I'm sorry Beam. This is my fault." He says as he comes behind me and wraps his arms around me.

"How is this your fault? It's not your fault in the slightest. You're a victim too." I say turning and looking at him.

"She wants me."

"How does her being insane become your fault? Stalkers and murderers have targets and sometimes others get hurt because of it. It's still not the victims fault." I scold.

"But Beam..."

"No Pha, not once have I ever blamed you for this. Do you understand?"

"I do."

"Good, now kiss me and go to work."

Boy did he kiss me. I almost made him stay home.

****

I walk into the hospital and head to my appointment.

"Oh Dr. Kongthanin I thought you were off today." One of the other doctors asks.

"Yeah I have an appointment today." I say rubbing my hand on the back of my neck.

"I understand. I hope it goes well." She says.

"Me too. Thanks." I say genuinely.

I smile and walk to the elevators. When the doors open I'm pleased to see my Kitty there.

"Hey Sunshine. Are we still on for lunch after your appointment?" He asks.

"Yep, that's the plan. Around noon?" I confirm.

"Beam that's in two hours. What exactly are you going to be talking about?"

"Doctors run late Kitty. You should know that just as well as anyone. I'll call you if I finish early."