Collide With the Flair of Selfish Machines

VI

(Y/N)'S POV

Everything's been kinda' awkward. I hate to say it, but I think Vic is getting bored. No matter how much he says he wants me or loves me or thinks I'm beautiful his face speaks louder than his words. I had to say, being part of their development is exciting. They're all growing up and changing. Mike's going crazy with dope and whiskey, Tony's addicted to ink and is no longer the fetus I met about a year ago, Jaime...is still kinda' Jaime, and Vic has become a workaholic. He basically sucked the fun out of everything and I don't know why.

Maybe I'm just too addicted to him. Every time he comes to the doctor, he calls Vic my medication. I'm way too enthralled with him.He's basically my savior. If not through his music, than he's physically saving me from myself. He was the only one who loved me. But here I am, too afraid of physical contact to give him what I know he truly wants. Then again, he secretly got my name tattooed on his hip near his member. I'm the only one who knows, so there's some dedication. He's...ya' know...permanently mine.

I spent days with them as they recorded their first album in Jaime's living room. It was going to be called A Flair for the Dramatic, absolutely no relation to me whatsoever. 

I was happy to be out of the hospital and recovering for the millionth time. I looked around the room that I was in. It was colorful, perfect for Jaime's personality. Mike was sitting behind his drums, picking his teeth from the lunch we had earlier with a drum stick wedged between his fingers. Tony was sitting on the long couch by himself, tuning his guitar in silence and every so often he'd twist one of his snakebites or tug on his gauge. Jaime was in a desk chair at the computer, toying with the sound waves on the monitor with his bass awkwardly placed on his lap. Vic was trapped in the dining room, singing his little heart out as Jaime monitored the screen that captured his voice. I sat in the middle of the floor, in the way yet again. 

"How was that?" Vic walked in, breathless, as Jaime looked up at him and took his headphones off. 

"That's it, count The Balcony Scene done." Jaime smiled wide. "Just a few more to go."

"How about a break?" Mike yelled, placing his hands on his spread open lap.

"But we just ate lunch." Tony looked over his shoulder towards Mike.

"Nah, a break sounds good." Jaime agreed. Vic sighed and shook his head.

The break commenced...that meant nap time. I couldn't sleep in the middle of the day. That's just me, so I forced Vic to stay up with me. I looked down at my fingers. They were bit up and chewed to a nub from anxiety. I started folding my ears...another anxious habit. 

"Stop, you're cartilage will be ruined." Vic laughed in a whisper as he drummed the beat to Chemical Kids and Mechanical Brides on my lap.

"You're not my boss." I smirked, putting my hands on his. "Would you ever try to leave me for someone who deserves you better?"

"(Y/N), don't be silly. You know I love you. I'm the one that doesn't deserve you." Vic rolled his eyes.

"What am I? I'm a suicidal maniac. Who are you? You're a crazy good musician that just got signed. I think you need to re-think your answer." I tilted my head toward him.

"What if we broke up?" Vic looked up at me.

"Baby, no, sometimes things don't work out the way they planned." I reassured him. "I can't lose you." He nodded, pondering something.

"Maybe we're meant to lose the ones we love, but I'll fight for you until then." He left me thinking.

I'm a little worried with this one.