Collide With the Flair of Selfish Machines

IV

VIC'S POV

The tour is amazing. I never want to go back to that stupid, little town. During the tour, I bought a new house all to myself and the others did the same. When this tour is over, I'll be a new man. But these thoughts torture me. What is wrong with me?

Nights on the bus were alright. Sure, it was cramped, but it was friendly. It was what we knew. Tony would chill out like the guy he was. Jaime would make everyone smile. I would work away like a slave. Mike would fuck bitches and get high like he did since high school. Everything felt right, like a puzzle, but one piece was missing.

(Y/N) was the love of my life and I just threw her away. I guess that's what she gets for being dramatic. Wait, no, it's my fault. It's my fault she's the way she is. Damnit, I'm a shithead. I hope she's excited to see me and that everything's okay. I hope she's living a good life. I hope things got better, but I'm moved on. Our love just bled slowly.

Fuck, how can she hold my attention without even trying.

"Hello?" I heard her sweet voice over the phone for the first time in two months.

"Hey." I greeted.

"Oh, what do you want?" She wondered, angry.

"I just thought you'd want to know how it's going." I shrugged.

"Vic, after what you did, do you really think I give a fuck?" She gave me attitude.

"Maybe a little." I squinted my eyes.

"Think again." Her voice shook. I knew she was lying.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

"That's a dumb question." She told me.

"Sorry." I mumbled. "Who hurt you? What can I do? I swear, if I get a hold of who hurt you I hope God looks away." I threatened.

"You did." She mumbled and hung up the phone. My eyes widened at the sudden realization. Why would I let her go?

I crept to my bunk. I knew she was gone, but I miss her so much. I hope that this feeling will leave soon. I heard it does. You'll forget your past eventually. I felt sick for doing this, but I couldn't hold back anymore.

I unzipped my pants and took out myself. I stared at a picture on my phone of us together. It saddened me, but her seeing her beautiful face just made me want her. I miss the fabric of her flesh touching mine. That's it, just like that, as my phone locked, I was turned on. I began stroking myself lightly. I tilted my head back and moaned slightly. I had to be quiet because everyone was still awake. 

Shit, (Y/N), why'd I let you go?" I whined through my teeth as I went harder on myself.

I arched my back and my body moved in different directions as I shuttered from the feeling. I moaned a little louder as I felt something coming on. I slowed my pace, but squeezed harder. That was it. I came onto my sheets and fell back, breathing heavily. I need this girl back.

Why did I let you go?