Riverdale Imagines

Silence AA

Y/N pov

Yeah, I'd rather be a lover than a fighter
'Cause all my life, I've been fighting
Never felt a feeling of comfort
All this time, I've been hiding
And I never had someone to call my own, oh nah
I'm so used to sharing
Love only left me alone
But I'm at one with the silence

I sat in peace on my bed writing down in my journal. I smiled slightly as I wrote down his name, but I could never actually fall in love with him.

I delt with a rough past. I had an abusive boyfriend and father. If I went over to my boyfriends house he be nice as first but one thing wrong would be a trigger for him to punch me. If I came home late I would be the first victim for eyes and for his punching bag.

I really want to love someone, I really do, I've just been fighting for my life so long that I can't get it out of me to say anything. No one was there for me as I cried and took the blood for them. I always went up to my room and just closed the door softly and cried for hours.

I want to love someone, but not just anyone, I need to love the right one.

I found peace in your violence
Can't tell me there's no point in trying
I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long
I found peace in your violence
Can't tell me there's no point in trying
I'm at one, and I've been silent for too long

I kept reading over the words that I wrote very carefully thinking it was okay.

'I've been quiet for too long.'

I sighed as I thought of ways writing more and more. The door slammed shut downstairs and it was like slow motion as my door busted open and my dad walked in.

He yelled at me as I just felt numb. I just always found peace with this. The tempting voice of my dad saying that I'm a whore, a slut, a bitch. Everything.

'I've been silent for too long.'

I got up as tears fell freely down my face. I didn't wipe them away as I looked at him showing my true feelings.

I'm in need of a savior, but I'm not asking for favors
My whole life, I've felt like a burden
I think too much, and I hate it
I'm so used to being in the wrong, I'm tired of caring
Loving never gave me a home, so I'll sit here in the silence

As he closed my door I broke down on the floor and cried loud. Screaming for help. Screaming for a savior.

I want to be saved not to be hurt anymore. Not to be felt like I'm disappointing everyone. I want to feel safe and cured from this bad fever that will never go away before of how much it hurts. I needed him. But I can't have him.

I got up with weak knees and walked over to my bathroom. I looked in the mirror and saw my reflection. I saw the tears and saw the bloodshot eyes...well that's what you would see. I would see pain and scars of all the other tears. I would see in my eyes the sight of my dad and ex-boyfriend yelling at me saying I was worthless. I would the tiredness of my bags under my eyes. I would see how much I wouldn't care about these situations now...because I don't.

I looked at the picture on my wall and saw it was a picture of my family. My real family. I smiled and thought. 'The good ol' days.'

I've been quiet for too long
I've been quiet for too long
I found peace in your violence
Can't tell me there's no point in trying
I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long

I looked at the note as I wrote it so elegantly.

"I love you Archie. But I can't love you at the same time. I hope you'll understand that I'll be okay taking care of my self outside of Riverdale. If anything I'll down in Florida, with my mom, my sisters and brothers, and my dad. That's my real family. The ones that love me.
Thank you for a good life outside of my house. I love you.
Goodbye.

xo Y/N

I've been quiet for too long and he still doesn't know.