I'm Low on Gas and You Need a Jacket

-chapter 12-

Luke's POV

Happy.

I was feeling extremely happy. Ashton makes me extremely happy. We finally made our way back into a train to go home.

"I'm so tired!" Ashton said yawning and stretching.

"Come here," I open up my arms and he cuddles into my chest. I love him so much.

I stroke his hair until he falls asleep. I kiss his forehead and stare out the window with a weird feeling in my stomach.

Soon.

I'm going to tell Ashton I love him soon.

.

The train stops at our stop and I didn't want to wake up Ashton, but I shake him and then say his name and he slowly sits up. We get our bags and head out.

"That was a nice day, Lukey," The nickname made me melt inside.

"Yeah, I really enjoyed it. Thank you Ash," He smiles at me and we start to walk back to the hotel.

"God I'm hungry," Ashton says. "Are you?"

"Not really," I felt so guilty. "Feeling a little bit queazy from the train."

He nods and we keep on walking. We didn't have a show tonight, which was good. I need a break.

We get into the hotel room to have michael run up to us and give me a hug. He then pulled Ashton into this incredibly awkward hug. I felt our hands brushed against each other and blushed. I wish I could hold it.

"Bloody let them go Michael. You're gonna kill them," We hear Calum say.

He lets go.

"What was that for," Ashton giggled.

"I was so worried, I didn't know where you were, you didn't answer your calls or texts."

I look at Ashton who looked at me.

"Sorry mate. We missed our stop on the way back and I guess we never checked our phones," I explain.

"It's alright, just tell us next time. We should all go to bed," He grabs Calum's and they both head out to their separate rooms. We look at the clock to see that it was 10:30pm.

"Yeah, we should go to bed," Ashton says. "Bye Lukey."

I grab his wrist and hug him. I love him. Why can't those three simple words come out? He hugs me back and sits his head in the crook of my neck.

"Goodnight, and thanks for today," I whisper.

"Goodnight, Luke," We let go and he goes out of the room.

I fall onto the bed. I feel so happy. I'm so happy around Ashton. I told myself at the start of the tour that I myself that I wasn't going to fall for Ashton. I was going to forget about it, but that didn't end well. I will have to tell him.

.

I wake up suddenly, sweating and breathing heavily.

My blades.

I need my blades.

I quickly get up and rip open my suitcase and start throwing out all my clothes until I find the pencil case with them placed in it.

I quietly get out of my room and tip toe to the bathroom looking down at the blades in my hands. Until I almost scream because I ran into someone on the way to the bathrooms, dropping my blades. You idiot Luke.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry!" It was... Ashton.

"Ashton?" I whisper.

"Luke!" We both giggle. "What did you drop?"

He opens the bathroom door and turns on the light so he could see.

"L-Luke," He saw them. I feel my eyes fill with tears. I kneel down and pick them up and run into the bathroom.

"Luke! Don't," He walks into the bathroom and hugs me and I cry onto his shoulder. "Come on, let's go back to my room."

He takes my shaking hand and turns off the bathroom light and takes me out. We go to his room. He turns on the light.

"Are they the only ones you have?"

I look down and bite my lip and nod.

"Give them to me," He firmly says.

I look up into his eyes. I shake my head.

"I-I can't."

"Luke, you have to."

"No I don't."

"Don't cry, mate," He says wiping my tears away with his thumbs. "Let's just go to sleep."

We go to his bed and I put my blades on his bedside table. And slowly fall asleep but saying, "I love you." Before I do.

"Yeah, whatever Luke," He says.

I meant it this time. I really meant it. But it was too late, I was already falling asleep with Ashton's arms around me.

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