Potter

Chapter 58

I didn't sleep that night.

Instead I tried to remember what it was like to not feel so sick, or how to calm down a heart beat that wouldn't stop fluttering anxiously. Words pounded through my head- How does he know how does he know howdoesheknow

I only managed to fall asleep with the help of a pain potion, and even then my sleep was restless. Dreams were scarce and my sheets felt too hot despite the cold weather. I had made up my mind- I would find him tomorrow, and demand what he knew. I'd use any method it took.

Except he wasn't there at breakfast in the morning.

Nor was he in any classes.

Or dinner.

So I waited a day. Uppity, nervous. Neville and Ginny obviously knew something was wrong, but I didn't bother them with it, not wanting to make either of them worry. I had to figure this out on my own.

And then he wasn't there the next day.

Or the next.

And by the end of the week my anxiety had turned into full-blown panic. I couldn't stop drumming my fingers, tapping my leg. I couldn't go to Severus about it- There was no way I could get to his office without being requested, not unless I wanted the Carrows snooping around. So instead I had to bear it in silence, continue through life as normally as I could.

I had asked Sirius about it a day ago, but the question "Who is Marcus Thatcher?" was still engraved into the underside of my ring, and I didn't see it changing anytime soon. I didn't know if he was simply not wearing the ring or ignoring me, and I was rather cross at either idea.

"Miss Longbottom, what are the hand movements for the Aqua Eructo Charm?" Flitwick looked at me from behind his glasses. My head snapped up instantly, and I searched my brain for a moment before answering.

"Oh! Um- Oh, damnit- Flick and and jab?" I suggested meekly. Flitwick's lips thinned, but after a quick glance at Filch he nodded.

"Very good, Miss Longbottom." He said as he turned back to the board, and with a flick of his wand the chalk wrote something on it that I lacked the interest to read. Neville sat beside me, studiously taking notes. I'm sure I could borrow some later, if need be.

I sighed, sinking back into my seat as I drummed my fingers lightly upon the desk. Classes seemed so pointless this year. Not to mention that, under the guise of Alecia Longbottom, any good scores I got would not go to me. And I'm sure I could always return to school next year.

So pardon me if I let myself be distracted with more important things for the time being.

"Are you alright, 'Lecia?" Lavender Brown asked, leaning over discreetly from her desk. I had formed an unlikely friendship with the Gryffindor girl. While her over-dramatic tendencies could be a little much at times, she was sweet and managed to keep things light-hearted, which is what I desperately needed.

"I'm fine, Lavender. Thanks." I smiled weakly, letting my fingers stop from tapping on the wood. Lavender pursed her lips, obviously unconvinced as she slid back into her seat, resting her head upon her hands with a sigh.

When her attention was off of me I started tapping again.

_

"Lily, you need to calm down. What is the problem?" Ginny asked as we ate dinner. I frowned, shrugging as I scooped a spoonful of peas into my mouth.

"Nothing." I said after I had swallowed. "I'm just tired."

"Understandable." Neville said slowly from beside me. "But I don't think that's it."