Wuxia Tale: Hua in Bloom

Burden

(WANG HUA)

"Are you truly this worried about your brother?" I asked Jin as we walk along the small stream. Up ahead of us is Dao, Yong and Manchu. The three of them are arguing about something again.

Yong and Manchu had developed a habit of arguing with Dao just to make my brother lose an argument. So far, they haven't succeeded yet. Dao is an excellent debater. Only Father can stand a chance of beating Dao in a discussion. Even Baba usually gives up when arguing with Dao.

But Yong and Manchu won't give in. Pride is at stake. I think I will let them. It keeps Dao occupied and his mind sharp. It keeps my brother's brain exercised so, good for the three of them.

Jin's worry is more important than us thinking of Yong and Manchu's prides that Dao usually defeat in an argument. Jin is worried about his younger brother, Prince Guo.

"Since our Baba leaving the capital, taking Cai and Han with him, Guo started feeling isolated. The Empress doubled his security. Making it tighter that Guo feels like breathing inside the Palace is getting harder. I know what he feels. I felt that kind of suffocation all throughout my childhood. Being isolated, all my moves are watched by people. I never wanted any of my siblings to feel like that. But here we are, Guo feels like the whole Palace and Capital is his prison now." Jin sighed as he held my hand while we walk.

"Is it still suffocating for you? To live in the Palace?" I asked him.

"No so much as before," Jin smiled at me. "If I feel frustrated there, I think about you and everything will feel a lot better. Thinking of you, anticipating the next time I can visit you, makes my life in the Palace more bearable than before. Guo is who I worried about," he added.

I smiled at him. "You are a good brother, Jin." I told him.

He winced, "Am I? I feel different though. I think I haven't done enough for my siblings. Aside from leaving them alone so the Empress won't make an issue out of it, I haven't done much for Guo, Cai and Han. If I really want to be a good brother to Guo, I will snatch that Crown Prince title and lessen his burden. But what can I do? I don't like it either. It will not make me happy. But I think being the Crown Prince won't make Guo happy as well." Jin sighed. We saw a rocky path and we stopped talking for a while as he concentrated on guiding me carefully until we got to even ground again.

"Thank you," I said as we passed that rocky patch of the road. I glanced at the small stream, the water hitting the protuded rocks as it wades down stream. "Follow your heart, my Prince. Prince Guo will make a decision for himself. He will follow his heart."

"He will make a choice, I know." Jin nodded in agreement. "I just worry that the decision he will make won't make him happy. I thought, if I am not destined for a happy life, I wished my siblings will at least be content on theirs. But at this rate, Guo will start resenting his life and will feel lonely with his choices. He will then have regrets. I wish Guo will live a regretless life. He is a good brother. He thinks of Cai and Han a lot."

"You are both good," I said.

"How can I help him? Aside from taking the responsibility of being the Crown Prince?" Jin asked. Genuinely concern for his brother.

"I don't know," I gave him an honest answer. "You cannot start acting spontaneously and recklessly towards your brother, my Prince. You are both in a delicate positioning in your family. It will raise suspicions and it will just put you and Prince Guo in harm. So I think, continuing to be careful is still the safest way to go,"

I want Jin to remain careful in his movements in the Palace. Soon, we will announce our engagement, until then, I don't want unnecessary attention on my Prince that can jeapordize his safety.