Wuxia Tale: Hua in Bloom

Wanderlust

(PRINCE GUO)

This is a disaster. This is a nightmare.

"Prince Han will be awarded the honor of being my heir," Our Baba, the Emperor, continued like he didn't heard me and Prince Jin exclaimed our denial on his decision to give the Crown Prince title to our youngest brother.

"Your Majesty," Prince Jin went down on one knee, I was suprised at first but followed suit quickly. Also kneeling to our father. "You cannot mean to do this. Our youngest brother..."

"Why are you both protesting? You both don't want that title," the Emperor frowned at us.

"But Prince Han..." I bit my lower lip. "Are you...punishing us for not wanting that throne? Is that why you will place our brother there? Prince Han, he is too young to take that responsibility..."

"I was eight years old when the Crown Prince title came to me. Han is ten years old now. Two years older than me when I got that throne. I think Prince Han will be fine..."

"But Baba..." Prince Jin's expression is unsure. Then he grew somber, "Forgive me, Baba, your useless oldest son. I couldn't even save my brothers..."

"Jin," The Emperor called his name. Prince Jin and I look at our father. He got a kind smile for us. "I understand. You tried, son. The both of you." Baba look at me while his smile is still on his lips. "You both tried hard to want and covet that throne. You both learned to be good princes. You both endured the greed of other people who kept pushing you to that throne. I know you both tried. But the truth is, you both don't have the heart to be the next Emperor. It is sad. It's not the ideal situation. But that is the truth. Your hearts, both of your hearts, are not keen on getting that position."

I look down in shame. "I'm sorry Baba, if we failed you."

"You only fail me if you will force yourself to take that throne and then hate it and hate me for giving it to you," the Emperor said. "Stand up, the both of you. You are Princes. You must never kneel too long even in front of your Emperor. Stand up,"

Prince Jin and I stood up and paid attention to our father.

"You both tried. I know that. I saw it. I witnessed it. How unhappy your childhood had been, Jin. To be isolated in this big place, you turned quiet and aloof. I know how painful it is for you, son. And I should apologize for not doing enough to give you a happy childhood. Seeing you happy with General Wang's daughter is a consolation for me. A balm to my uselessness as your father..."

"Baba, don't say that..." Prince Jin's face is filled of frustration. "You have been a good father to me. I never held anything against you..."

"Because you are kind, son. You are kind. Just like your mother. But your kind heart don't covet the Crown Prince throne, even if you are my oldest son. You saw what devastation power can do, and I think you don't want that kind of power. I don't blame you son. No need to apologize."

Then the Emperor turned to me. His face filled with shame and sadness, "Guo ah, forgive your useless father, my brave son. Thank you for always keeping your siblings in your mind. For enduring everything for your family to remain peaceful. I know how hard you have worked to placate your mother and grandfather all these years. Learning how to smile just to hide the pain that you are feeling. I know son, it is not lost to me how much hardship you have endured all these time..."

I felt tears gathered in my eyes at his words. I look down to hide them from my father. I heard shuffling and then two strong arms enveloped me in a hug. My father hugging me.

"Guo ah, you did well son. You have done enough already."

Those comforting words prompted my tears to fall. I held on to my father as I sobbed against his shoulder. "B-baba," I called for him. "I'm sorry..."