The Only One

XII

I wake up and remember all that happened today. The day went by so slowly. I layed there... Just thinking about how bad I feel... Nari... I miss her. I need to see her, but I shouldn't. Not now...

I lay there for about a half of an hour. I don't want to move. I just want to stay here, and stay here, until I die... This is so bad...

"Baby? You already up?"

"Yeah..."

"You could have woke me up.."

"I didn't want to.. You're warm when you sleep, and it makes me feel comfortable.... And you hold me so tightly...It's nice..."

"I'm glad you think so, but I know what happens when you think and nobody stops you... Wake me up next time, ok?"

"Ok..."

"You want food?"

"No.. not really..."

"Y/n... You need to eat today.. You need to eat everyday... but you don't.. You're worrying me."

"Then stop worrying..." You won't have to worry for long...

"I won't stop worrying. Ever. And I saw that look. That's the look that you give me when you.... when you... DAMMIT. I CAN'T LOSE ANYMORE PEOPLE!" He's starting to cry...

"Tae... calm down..."

"Grandma died. Nari died. My mom is sick, another one of my friends died earlier too.... I can't have you die too... I just can't..." He's covering his face. He doesnt want me to see him cry.. I did it again... I made him cry again... I can't do this... not like this.. no...

I get up and rush to the bathroom. I grab my razor blade. The cuts are deeper than they have ever been before... Tae knows I'm gone.

He bangs on the door. He knows what I'm doing. "YAH!! Y/N!! LET ME IN!!"

"NO!"

"PLEASE!! Just... just let me in... I know there are two things that you do when you storm off to the bathroom like that.... I don't want either of them." He mean that I either cut or try to take the pills.. "Please.. Just... Please!!"

I messily wrap up my arms in bandages. Both of them. I just cut on the arm that was almost healed... I open the door. He looks around. There's no bottle. He checks the cabinet. Nothing is missing. He looks down. No blood there. He looks behind me. He looks horrified. He sees the large amounts of blood in the bathtub and the razor blade. "Y/n.... why..." I see tears rolling down his face.

"You know why. Please.. Just don't start that..." I start to cry too. All he does, is walk forward and and hold me...

"I don't know how to help you... I can't help you if I don't know how... It pains me... that I know you're hurting... I just don't know what to do..."

"Well... don't do anything and the problem will fix itself."

"You're fix is not my fix! I don't want you out of my life. I... I-I can't handle anything else..."

"Do you really think that I can?! Why the hell do you think I want to do this?!"

"I'm staying alive for you aren't I? So I think you can do the same for me... And if you can't... I'll join you..."

"No. You won't... I won't let you."

"THEN STAY WITH ME! DAMMIT I CAN'T LOSE YOU OR ANYONE ELSE!!" He holds me tighter.

"IF YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME IN THE FIRST PLACE, THEN THIS WOULD NOT BE HAPPENING!" I pause, trying to calm down, but failing. I just cry even more. "Just leave me behind and... let me die alone.. like I was always meant to be..."

"But I want to care. And I want you to stay alive for me.. I love you too much... I-if you leave me then I'll have to come with you. I-I can't live without you..."

"Tae... I just..... I don't want to be scared anymore. And I'm so scared. Scared of what people think, what they see, and what they know... I'm scared. I don't want to be scared Tae... I don't want to be scared..."

"Y/n... You don't need to be scared while I'm here... I'll protect you. You know I will."

I just cry in his arms. I do need him, and he needs me, but I just don't want him to worry. I don't want to stay like this. I don't want to live like this. I don't want to live at all....

He holds me.. He keeps holding me... I cry even more. We stay there for a while until I calm down a little. I just feel so bad now.

"Tae..."

"Yes?"

"Tell me if I ever hurt you... I don't want you hurting, especially because of me.."

"I will..."

"Ok..." I pause for a moment. "And Tae?"

"Yeah?"

"I can't live without you either.."

"Then I'll stay alive for you. But promise me you'll stay alive for me. Or at least try ok?"

"I can try..." He keeps holding me. I don't think he's gonna let go anytime soon. "Tae? I want to go get food, I think..."

"Go out and get some or stay here?"

"Just stay here. Can we order pizza?"

"Sure. The regular?"

"Yeah."

Tae call in the order while I wait on the couch. I actually felt hungry right now. "Tae. Come sit down..."

"Alright baby~" He sits down and wraps his arms around my waist and I lean over on his shoulder. I feel so tired, and I can't tell if it's from the lack of food, the blood loss, or just this day. It could be all three though.. I fall asleep for what seems to be about 10 seconds, and then the doorbell rings. The pizza's here already? How??

Tae walks over to the man carrying our pizzas in a bag. He goes and grabs his wallet from his box so he can pay for our meal. I could have paid though...

○○○

We eat our pizza. I'm tired so I go to bed. Tae comes in and looks at me. He blushes a little. "What?"

"P-put on s-somthing else...."

"No. Why?"

"Uhhh... I-I..... Umm.." I almost forgot about What I had on. A very tight tank top and shorts that were so short, that you could almost see my butt. But did I care? No. Not at all...

"I... Uhhmm... J-just sleep under the blanket tonight ok..? Because your clothes.... I just..."

"It's just my legs and arms. Calm down."

"N-no.. It's almost.. your... your... umm... chest..." My shirt is pretty low-cut but there's not much to worry about.

"Ooohhh~ Now the perv tae left? What happened?"

"Those were jokes... not serious...."

"Just get over here. I'm getting cold and I want you here. And tomorrow's the last day that we have to go to school. It's gonna be fun, so we need rest, right?"

"Yes.."

"Ok then. So get over here and snuggle me. I know you want to."

He awkwardly climbs on the bed. He hold my stomach in a place that one of his arms is touching my thigh. He realizes where his arm is, and moves up, but not too much. He doesn't want to touch my "chest."

He finally gets comfortable and so do I. I fall asleep and he soon falls asleep after.