confessions to jake

chapter two

~27th May~

Dear Jake,

I'm confused as to whether I need school or need to stay away from it. It's a great distraction I'll tell you that,when I'm up to my knees with anxiety,stress and feeling like a failure I feel so worthless I can't think of killing myself which is ironic. Because I want to kill myself because I am worthless,wow I'm not making any sense am I? Anyway, it's not like you'll be reading these anyway I just need to get these thoughts out of my system. I've actually been afraid of when it's summer and I have the entire days to myself. Hell,it's been two days and I'm fantasising of death again. As my therapist said I need to remember that it isn't even a option but it just feels so damn appealing,who would miss me anyway? Ugh maybe I'm just having one of those days where I just don't seem to function and all I can seem to do is want to die, I wonder if anyone else feels this way and has off days,at least I'm sure you did.