confessions to jake

chapter twenty-two

~14th July~

Dear Jake,

Today was actually shit but for different reasons. Nothing happened in class or anything because I was duty student anyway so I barely even had to go to class but I spent the day with my friend Hope who was pretty upset over her boyfriend. She mentioned wanting to die and feeling numb, I never knew other people thought of death like I do but it helped me in a way that I don't feel like such a freak anymore. It just upsets me everytime I see how much Hope'd hurting. I want to be there for her like a good friend would, I want to be the friend I always wished upon myself; the friend who'd trace my scars and feel bad over all the times they failed to help me and tell me that "I'm just wasted and thinking about the past again, darling you'll be okay." like the Pierce The Veil song but there I was, standing there and listening to her struggles while remaining silent because I'm just too damn afraid to say all the things I want to say.