If You Knew Me (#Wattys2015)

Chapter 2- If You Loved Me

Quince's POV

I held my face and got up. Trey looked at me with his mouth gaping open. I felt bad for him and wrapped my other arm around his shoulders. We walked to our first period class which was World History.

I was really upset that Jorge almost smacked Trey. Trey doesn't deserve to be hit or smacked. I deserve everything I get. I'm worthless and I don't deserve to be loved. I'm just going to skip the day because who wants to witness 7 hours of school.

When I got home I walked past the living and saw my dad making out with some lady. I crept by slowly but as always he noticed me. "QUINCE BABEEEEEEEEE!" He yelled. He was obviously drunk. I tried to back away but he got up and grabbed my arm. "Get on the sofa doll. We haven't had any fun at all." My eyes widened. My dad has only touched me once and that was accidental. Now he was trying to rape me. "Dad that's not a good idea...."

I tried to run but he grabbed my neck and through me on the sofa. The lady moved out of the way and pulled out her phone. She pointed it at us. My dad started kissing me sloppily and I wasn't enjoying any part of it.

2 hours later

I lay in my bed sobbing from being stripped of my innocence. I slowly climbed off my bed and grabbed a small kitchen blade from my backpack. I sat in the corner. I sliced my wrist and I just kept slicing up my arm until I couldn't feel it anymore. I just kept crying and telling myself 'What does it matter if I'm all scarred up and ugly. Everyone would still hate me and hurt me and tell me I'm worthless.

I see no point in trying to change that and trying to avoid it. All I am to this world is a blemish. I don't deserve to be here but ending it would only end my suffering that I so clearly deserve.'

I just lay there bleeding and bleeding until I decided to cover it up.

I cleaned up and went to bed my pants turning crimson. When I woke up my dad was waiting outside my door. "Morning pumpkin!" I jolted up and gave him a look. "What do you want..."

"What do you mean?" He responded "I made us breakfast."

I walked up to him and sniffed. Yup he's sober. "I'll come down in a few" and I closed my door.

I put in a my hi-lo black tank top and put on my over sized Hot Topic sweater to hide my cuts. I through on some Levi's and my converse. I grabbed my bag and went downstairs.

My dad was whistling and looked happy. I grabbed my plate and sat down. I wasn't hungry so I are a bacon strip then through the rest out.

"Bye going to school." He looked sad.

"Honey I'm sorry about last night. I was drunk and I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you. I love you 💝."

"If you loved me you wouldn't get drunk and rape me! If you loved me you wouldn't abuse me! If you fucking loved me you would leave and never come back!!!!" With that I left my home.