Loving someone who isn't capable of loving you back is one of the hardest part of love. For short, you got in the stage of friend zone. And that what happened to me, as always.
But you know what makes it even worse? After he discovered my feelings for him, the breeze of the wind suddenly changed. He avoids me, he doesn't even talk to me like he used to. The way he treated me changed into something I never wanted to be in. As much it is hard for me to admit this, but it hurts like a bitch. I really thought we had the connection but boy I was wrong, that connection I keep on getting it came from me.
All I am asking for is just a little bit. That's all I ever wanted. But even that he cannot provide for me.
And next week he is getting married to the woman who I never got along with because she acts like a bitch.
Everytime I see them together (coincidentally or uncoincidentally), I have to forget my heart in order to gave him the happiness that he deserves, the happiness that I am not able to give and provide for him, because from the start all he wanted from me was friendship not a relationship. Harry invited me to attend his wedding and I even myself doesn't know what to do.
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It's was in our junior year in highschool when I developed some feelings for him. I tried so hard to hide and to stop these feelings but my heart seems to be unstoppable. It keeps on growing. Even my friends teased me about him, but when they do I would please them to stop because I couldn't risk of letting him know what I feel for him over our friendship. Being his friend means alot to me, even if I look like a fool in front of everyone but I treasure this kind of relationship that we have.
"Rist." Harry called out. "Hello, Haz." I said while trying to held back my smile. I love the nickname that he gave to me. It's cute. "Rist, Can I ask you a favor?" He asked nervously. I've never seen him like this before. It couldn't be. Does he? No, he doesn't, I hope. After I calmed my nerves down, I answered to him saying, "What is it?" trying to force out a fake smile. "Can you help me how to ask Camille out? " he asked while playing with his fingers, indicating that he is anxious. What? Does he realize that Camille is my mortal enemy? When he saw my reaction, his face fell but recovers it with some fake smile. "I get it. "He said before he tried to walked out, and me as an idiot friend I stopped him by grabbing his arm. "Okay, fine. Just don't go." I said as my heart bleeds from the inside. I know in this situation I have to swallow my feelings and my precious heart in order to obtain his happiness. I let him step on my heart for the sake to his precious smile. He doesn't know that I like him yet.
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But when we reached the senior year, I fell in love to Harry. Deeper like the ocean that I can't seem to find an exit. It was tough, Since Harry and Camille started dating since junior year, when Harry asked me to help him to ask her out. It was very difficult for me to deal with them every single day. Seeing them all lovey dovey and happy. I wish I am this person, who can hold him, kiss him, touch him and lastly I wish I was the person who his heart desires. But sadly that person couldn't be me.
