Bloom >> phan

Life Lesson

     Late that night, Dan woke up and wondered where he had gone wrong. Part of him argued that his new life with Phil was only stressing him out, but the other side offered him the seemingly true fact that Dan was, yet again, sinking into another depressive episode.
While it was easy to think that things were only going to get worse from here, Dan swore to himself, looking at Phil's slightly open mouth, snores escaping every once in a while, that he wouldn't let this destroy their relationship. It was going to be a lot to get used to, but Dan was prepared. For the most part, his mind scoffed at him.
     Although he felt like he couldn't fall back asleep, Dan continued to lay by Phil's side, gently caressing the black rose tattoo that perfectly stained Phil's bicep.  Internal discomfort aside, Dan was content with his new boyfriend—Phil's bold, yet kind, nature collided with Dan's own softness and insecurities to create the sparks that light up the night sky like fireworks in cheesy romance films.
     It was almost as if Phil had gone and sprinkled light and color into Dan's mind and spirit like a gardener places fresh soil into a dying plant's pot.  If the new hope that glittered in Dan's eyes was most certainly from Phil then, he thought while placing his head back onto the pillow, I can finally learn to live again.
These thoughts, minus the negative outbursts of his subconscious, helped Dan fall asleep. In his dream, he was lying happily beside Phil in the grass —but this was no less than reality, only without the sinking pain he usually felt every day of his life. But, for now, Dan took on the infinity of sleep as lightly as his brain could handle. Nightmares usually rest until sleep arrives, unless your love has a tendency to break.  But can I learn from this pain?

———

I need help, I need help, I need help, I need —
"Dan?" Help, I need help — "Dan, wake up!" Dan abruptly raised his head off of the pillow with Phil anxiously stooping over him.
"What?" Dan asked, still dazed from his dark, yet panicked dream.
"Dan, you were talking and shaking in your sleep... It was all mumbling, but I'm really worried about you." With a sigh, Dan laid his head back onto the pillow and closed his eyes.
     "Dan, please talk to me; I want only want to help you."
     "After breakfast..." Dan mumbled.
     "But all we have are stale bagels after you threw the pancake batter everywhere!" Dan almost snorted, but the dark pit in his stomach prevented his laughter.
      "...Well, I guess we could go grab some coffee and walk around," Phil said in a more serious tone.  "I love you, you know."  He leaned down, kissed Dan, and went into the living room to catch up on a competitive cooking show.

      I need to learn to let go...

AN:

Hey guys!  After receiving many comments from a curious reader, I realized that I have completely abandoned this project over the past seven months.  I have finished high school and gone on to my first-choice college where I am studying my passion -- creative writing!

As you can imagine, all of this is extremely stressful and takes up 1000% of my time.  However, I promised myself that I would finish this story, so I am restarting that process with a short, leftover chapter that I wrote in May.

Thanks again to those who have stuck around, and I am more sorry than ever that I kept you all waiting.

xoxo Em