you're not alone [k.q]

*chapter 29*

Yes guys we are coming to an end. But I have really high hopes for my book The Watchers If you guys could check it out, that would be great! Anyway, only two or three more chapters. MAybe five. It is uncertain. So...Bye.

On Monday and Tuesday, I sat right next to Vic Fuentes. Terrible decision, I know. I just couldn't look Oliver in the eyes and admit what I did. I'm a coward. I deserved the ridiculous remarks that Vic made about me. There is no doubt in my mind that Kellin told him about 'us'.

On Wednesday, when I walked into Miss Helgadore's class, Oliver shot me a look, and nodded. He was motioning me to come over and sit with him. As much as I didn't want to, I went to the back of the classroom and sat in my usual seat.

"So," Oliver said awkwardly, a fake smile masking his anger.

"So," I said, feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry about your loss," he said. What did he men loss? Loss of my dignity? Loss of my virginity? The second one, he would be incorrect about. I lost my virginity two years ago to the one and only, Kellin Quinn.

I give him a strange look and that is when Miss Helgadore started her lecture. Damn it.

I scribbled a note on a piece of paper.

Oliver, what do you mean loss?

I quickly passed the note to him between aisles.

He looked at me with wide eyes, like I was supposed to know. I decided then that I needed to know what was going on.

Oli wrote quickly and handed it to me. I had enough time to read it before Miss Helgadore snatched the piece of paper from me.

The loss of Robin, didn't you hear?

What the hell?

ROBINS POV (TUESDAY NIGHT)
* May be triggering, if you don't want to read it, skip to the next chapter*

Alone.

Beaten.

Uncared for.

Not worth it.

Worthless.

I cried into my pillow, longing for Mitch, longing for any real comfort. Mitch was my only comforter who knew what comforting actually was.

"Real comfort isn't easy to give, but its worth it, to see the person you love feeling better because of something you tried hard to do," he once said.

Wails of sorrow and grief were released and tears flowed nonstop. Agony was the only thing I was certain I was feeling.

Am I even making any sense? Maybe this is all a bad dream.

But it wasn't a dream. This, right here, is the pitiful thing called life. It is unfair sometimes a beautiful lie. I knew this was coming. It was my low point, the point of no return. I'm too far gone...

I ran to my bathroom, grabbing as many pill bottles as I could. I grabbed my blades, cutting open my finger in the process. After running back to my room, trying to avoid my mother, I plopped onto my bed, dropping my supplies as well.

I lifted my thin white shirt, remembering it to be one Mitch gave to me. I glanced at all of the scars and bruises I had. Everything I have done to myself. It was the only way I could distract myself. Even though I drank as well, I couldn't keep it going on forever. My mom has already tried making me go to school when I was 'sick' but actually hungover.

I grabbed the blade and slashed my thighs, the pain causing my ears to ring. After three or four slashes on my right leg, blood dripped down my leg, towards my black shorts. I cried out in pain, but I could deal with it. Six or seven later, I was numb.

I grabbed the pills and downed four or five of one kind, three or four of another.

I remembered when Anna and I went to the mall the other day. I went with her, just so we could have one last Good Day together. I wanted her to have something of me to hold on to.

The room is spinning...
The door opens...
I hear my mom scream...
ROBIN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?
I blissfully slipped into a dark sleep, hoping to never wake up...