chapter 31

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by http-emily

by http-emily

sorry I was grounded again guys. whatever.

ANNAS POV

"Honey, when I heard that Robin had, um, killed herself," she sniffled. "I wanted to keep it from you, for as long as possible." My mom took a deep breath and I just wanted to scream at her.

Why would keep my best friend's suicide from me? Heartless!

"It gutted me. Robin, I know you loved her. She was like my second daughter, a sister to you. That girl, she was whose beyond her years. Anyway, when I found out she was, gone, it hurt me terribly. I couldn't even imagine how you would feel, Anna. It was selfish of me, I know. But I didn't want to be the one to tell you, even though I should've." My mom cried silently, and then stood up. She walked to her bedroom and returned with a sheet of paper in her hands.

"Anna, I believe Robin left this for you." She gave me a weak smile and then handed the thon piece of paper to me. Quickly, I took it and opened it.

I recognized Robin's handwriting immediately.

- Anna,
I'm sorry I had to write this. I'm sorry it came to this. I want to be there with you, helping you deal with whatever boy problems you have, but how could I help you when I'm losing myself more and more everyday?

Anna, I love you dearly. You were my best friend, my only friend, until Mitch. I'm not saying you were not there for me, because you were. Mitch went through some of the same things I did, though, so I could talk to him with ease. You were like my sister. You and your mother were great to me, and were always there for me. My own mother, hell, I wouldn't even be surprised if she didn't say shit about my suicide. It's not that I want her to, but it would be nice if she showed some appreciation for me. I think I was a good daughter.

Anyway, I want you to speak at my funeral. Write me a eulogy or something. Talk about me, do something that makes my funeral memorable. Cuss up a storm and scream at God, if there is one. But most of all, I want you to realize that this, my suicide, is not your fault. It was coming all along, I could feel it. After Mitch, there was no hope for me. I don't want to upset you anymore. I don't want to be ignored, or be annoying, or even live. That's why this had to happen.

I love you Anna, thanks for always being there for me when I had to me.

I love you forever,
Robin.

By the time I reached the second paragraph, I was in tears. I clutched onto the only thing I had left of my dead best friend. My mother looked at me, tears in her eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I cursed everyone internally and ran to my room, choosing isolation. I wanted to sleep and be alone. Screw consciousness, that's what I say.

Alright, I had a Supernatural Reference but whatves. I am sorry these chapters are shitty. I'm just trying to get em done, you know. This story isn't fun for me anymore. I'm bored with it but I'm trying to give you guys the best but its coming out half assed.

Bye
Emily.