My Story.

Why Do I Stay?

"YOU'RE PATHETIC AND WEAK! YOU'D FORGET TO BREATH IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE COCO TO REMIND YOU TO DO IT!"

I'd heard these words many times before from her, my fiance the woman who was to be my wife. My mind had wandered some as she yelled. I thought about the girl in my dreams. (Dreams that I'd been having since September) Her voice tended to drone on at times so I would just ignore her and let her yell. However I would be jolted out of my reverie by things flying across the room to get my attention. Usually something expensive and breakable...and equally painful when it hit me.

I counted down the minutes until it was time to go to rehearsals. I was leaving her. I had to get out or she was going to drive me mad. I just didn't know how to leave. My assistant was adamant that we needed to stay together and put on a show for the world. When the hell did MY assistant end up on her side of everything? My son hates them both and perhaps he's right to. I'd already decided that I wasn't coming back to Paris after the rehearsals and the tour. I wasn't doing this anymore. I couldn't.

I'd practically jumped out of my chair as the clock struck the moment it was time to go for my train. She tried to stop me but i just side stepped and waved her off and walked out. 'Goodbye bitch, I am gone!'. Sweet freedom, yet I felt a sense of dread. Who would want me now? Would Joe actually be happy that I was leaving? Would he hate me? Did he actually like her? I weighed up every fucking thought that reared it's ugly head and still could not make a definite decision.

My 'trusted' assistant sat across from me on the train and smiled pretending to be worried about my happiness.

"David. It's better for your image to work things out with her. Your fans will hate you if you hurt her." I shook my head.

"Shut up Coco. You don't know what you're talking about."

She smiled at me smugly.

"Well you will be meeting with her, I've arranged it."

I shook my head and glared at her.

"Are you out of your bloody mind? When I left there tonight it was with no intention of going back."

She leaned forward, a menacing look in her eyes.

"You WILL meet with her David and you WILL get back together OR ELSE."

I shook my head again and stared out of the window, that 'OR ELSE' shook me to my core but I made out like I didn't care. I had to if I was going to be strong. Maybe I should tell Joe. No he would be disappointed that I was so weak. I don't know what to do anymore.

I love my son way too much to lose him or have him hurt because of me. Perhaps I should stay.

FOR FUCK SAKE SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!