My Story.

She Is My Drug.

I wanted to get to know her. She was almost 18 so I didn't see any harm in offering her a Gin and orange juice. She didn't wait for the juice. Oops. Although the speed at which she drank the juice it probably caught up with the Gin. She asked if she could have Tia Maria next. Joe was exhausted from studying long hours and fell asleep after just one drink. I covered him up and moved to sit next to Kerry. Again I couldn't believe she was here in my living room.. On my sofa. I pinched myself..

Ouch that fucking hurt so it wasn't a dream.

We made small talk but in my head I had visions of us making out. Our bodies pressed together, our lips locked. My fingers tangled in her hair. I watched her lips intently wanting to taste her.

After a short time she asked if it was possible to have a bath..

Can I join you? Is what I wanted to say.

Instead I said it was okay but when she stood up there was no way I was going to put her in danger. I suggested she had a shower instead she reluctantly agreed. I led her upstairs to my bedroom. She walked into the room nervously and made a quick dash past the bed and into the bathroom. She must have been worried that I was going to try and take advantage of the situation..

my poor sweet beautiful angel.

I turned on the shower and gave her a brief tutorial on how to use it then left her alone.

I lay down on my bed. On a few occasions there were loud bangs and I had to check that she was alright she assurred me she was. A few minutes later I was startled by hearing her squeal, "cold cold cold". I told her to cover herself and I would shut it off for her. I'd forgotten to get her a towel so she had to wrap the shower curtain around herself. I walked in the curtain was clinging to her body..

Oh dear lord I was very flustered at the sight.

I left her alone again but had to rush back in when I heard a really loud bang and Kerry yelp in pain. She was hunched in tears on the floor the curtain over her head. Me being a complete idiot made a stupid attempt to make her feel better and said that I hadn't planned on redecorating yet.. Something I instantly regretted when I caught sight of her back. She was covered in bite marks. I was instantly livid but also wanted to cry.

I asked her about it and she dissolved into tears. I pulled her into my chest and held her as tight as possible without hurting her. I wanted to take the pain away. If I could have transferred the bites to my own flesh I would have done just that. This sweet angel from my dreams deserved to be treated like a queen not a punch bag or chew toy. I struggled to hold back the tears.

When I was looking into her eyes I realised that I knew her. I wasn't 100% sure but I think I had met her as a child and had been dreaming about her from then. (Not in a perverse way).

She refused to report it to the police but agreed to let me clean her wounds. I went to the kitchen to search for the first aid kit. The tears were flowing freely now that I was away from her. Tears of rage. Joe was in the kitchen studying and was startled by the way in which I behaved. I wanted to smash things.

"FUCKING TWAT, SOMEONE NEEDS TO TEACH HIM A FUCKING LESSON."

He asked me what was wrong. I dissolved on the spot. I told him that she was covered in bruises and bites. That she was so thin you could see her ribs. I couldn't hold back anymore and threw up in the kitchen sink.

"Is it really that bad?" I managed to nod.

"Call the police then"

I told him that she'd asked me not to between wretching and sobbing but she'd agreed to let me bathe them. I went back to her once again. She lay face down on the bed and I tried to be as gentle as I could cleaned her wounds. It wasn't until after I'd done that and she had curled up in my arms under the duvet that I remembered how I knew her.

- - - - - - - -

In 1978 I was visiting relatives in Doncaster. Mum and I took Joe to a local park. He made friends with a little girl who seemed to be alone. She was only four. While they played on the swings the young girl stopped swinging. She went very pale and suddenly fell backwards off the swing she was convulsing. I immediately picked her up into my arms and quizzed every person I came across. Eventually I came across a woman with a child in a pushchair. She claimed to be the child's aunt. My mother called for an ambulance from a nearby phonebox. The aunt said she would go and fetch the parents. I went to the hospital with her while my mother looked after Joe and waited for her parents to turn up. She would send them to the hospital obviously after giving them a piece of her mind for letting an incompetent woman look after their daughter.

I went to visit her the next day and found that she had been transferred to the hospital nearer to her home. The North Staffordshire Royal infirmary.. Cheethams ward.

I would be in Stafford in a couple of days as part of my Isolar tour. I decided that I would visit her there. Upon arrival I found her alone in her room. Curled up and crying. The nurse had informed me (in exchange for an autograph and kiss on the cheek) that her family only visited for an hour a night and she would not leave the room.

I sat and played games with her.. We played snap.. Every time she spotted the match I pretended to jump as she slammed her hand down on the pile of cards even going as far as to throw the cards I was holding in the air and clutching my chest. She would laugh hysterically. Her eyes would twinkle.

After that time spent with her I started having dreams about her. I would be standing in a doorway unable to get through. She would be lying in bed crying. I would try to get to her but couldn't. I could see a man sitting next to her on the bed he put one hand under the blankets, the other would be over her mouth until she had stopped crying. He had his back to me so I couldn't see his face. I would scream at him to get away from her but no one heard me. My screams were out loud in my own home and my assistant would wake me and accuse me of doing drugs. Wow...so much faith in me that one! I would eventually fall back to sleep and this time she would be alone and I could get into the room. I would go over to her. At first she would jump at my touch but then when she felt nothing worse than a hand on her shoulder she would open her eyes and speak.

"Mr Angel?"

"Yes Sweetheart."

She would crawl onto my lap and sob into my chest. I would then curl up with her on the bed and hold her for the rest of the night until the morning sun would wake me.

——---------------------

I stayed awake all night and watched her sleep. On the rare occasions I let go of her she would start to whimper and jump. As soon as I held her again she would calm down and settle back off to sleep.