My Story.

Lost

Coco spent the entire journey to the airport hissing at me about Kerry not being right for me. That she would ruin my reputation. I already had a bad reputation. The reputation that any rock star would be proud of. I had foolishly fuelled the rumours by not denying the claims of promiscuity. Don't get me wrong I have been with a lot of women. A few dozen probably but no where near the numbers people write about I think they're reckoning it's over 500.!! Not a chance.

As soon as we got to the airport I phoned home. Joe answered and told me that Kerry had been crying non stop since I left. My heart dropped. He put her on the phone. She barely spoke above a whisper. I told her I was missing her already but just hearing her voice made me feel calm. I had an idea. I asked if she had a passport.

"No. My parents won't go anywhere but the Isle of Wight."

Fuck. Well there goes that idea. I was going to ask Joe to bring her out to Japan to me. My heart sank again. I needed to have her with me. She was deep in my heart and soul and being away from her was painful. I begged her be there when I got home. She promised she would be. I gave her a reason. I asked her to make sure Joe ate properly. I was just about to tell her I loved her when Coco appeared. She hung up on Kerry and hissed at me that Kerry would be sleeping with Joe by the time our plane was boarding.

I told her she was wrong. In my heart I knew she was wrong but something in my warped mind told me that I wouldn't blame her if she did. Joe was just a few years older than her. He wasn't a pathetic old man that had erectile disfunction issues. I mean what 17 year old girl would want a chicken chested bandy legged old man?  Why did Coco have to say that? Why did she have to put that seed of doubt in my mind.

I repeated over and over again in my head .
Kerry isn't like that, Kerry wouldn't do that, Kerry isn't like that, Kerry wouldn't do that.

Unfortunately my brain would put in WOULDN'T BLAME HER IF SHE DID every so often.

I started to panic. I couldn't get on the plane. I needed to go home. Coco came back with a glass of whiskey. I downed it in one. It tasted funny. I looked at coco. She was putting a bottle of pills back into her bag.

"What did you put in my drink?"

The room started to blur

"It's for your own good darling."

I don't remember anything until I was woken up by coco and we had landed in Japan. I challenged her and she merely said.

"You were being hysterical darling. I couldn't have you distressing the other passengers. You should really get over your fear of flying darling. I shouldn't have to do this anymore"

"ANYMORE ! WHAT DO YOU MEAN ANYMORE?"

"Relax darling we've been doing this since before the serious moonlight tour. How else do you think we made it from one side of the world to the other? "

"What do you mean Corinne? We traveled by train most of the time."

"Oh darling. You got on the train. Had a 'drink' and then we put you on a plane. Every time you woke up you had another drink."

I was furious. I thought the cocaine was the reason most of my career was a blur to me. Maybe it wasn't. I barged past her and made my way to the nearest phone booth. I'm not fluent in Japanese but I knew enough to get the operator to make a reverse charge call to London. Joes friend Jack answered. He put Joe on. As he answered Jack said

"Does he know about that girl you were hiding upstairs?"

"YES."

I immediately asked if I could speak to Kerry and was informed that she had fallen asleep on my bed holding my pillow and wearing my bathrobe. Apparently she had cried herself to sleep. My poor baby. Joe explained what had happened with his friends. He said that Kerry had wandered through a couple of times to get some chocolate and a cup of coffee. I didn't want to stay here anymore. The sooner this tour was over the better. I needed to get home to my girl. Something was screaming in the back of my mind that I needed to go home.

We made our way to the hotel. Coco had arranged several interviews and meet n greets. I did them although my mind was elsewhere. I can remember walking through crowds of people all of them shouting my name and scrabbling to kiss me and hug me. Once that was done we went back to the hotel. The guys went to the bar. I went to my room and wrote my diary. Just random words that would help me to remember things.

Naked,
Noisy changing room
Reason to wake up in the morning
I miss you
Passion pants.
Can't survive without
Time to send valentine card (?)
Lost my way
2 years of hell over now I found her
Love her so much
Am I a Crazy old man (?)

"DEFINITELY."

I hadn't heard Coco come in and jumped at the word.

"Here have a drink."

She handed me a bottle of beer and the bottle opener.

I closed the diary and went to lie down on the bed. Coco followed me all the time telling me how crazy I was to think I loved Kerry. How she was probably at home with joe laughing at me and in my bed with him. I put my drink down and announced I was going for a shower.

"Shall I join you darling?"

"Why? We're not together Corinne. We haven't been together for a very long time."

"Until you met Iman we have always been there for each other's needs. You always come back to me."

"There's nothing between us Corinne. There's been nothing Physical between us since before I did that intro for the snowman."

"Okay darling. If you say so."

She left the bathroom and I quickly locked the door. That sentence made me shudder. What did she mean? What was happening during my supposed blackouts. I showered and thought about Kerry, smeagle immediately woke up. I couldn't have wanted anyone more than I wanted her at that moment. Then I remembered something. When we had been busy in harrods Kerry's knickers had fallen out of her pocket and I'd picked them up and put them in mine as I got dressed. I found Kerry's knickers and I'm not ashamed to admit it I sniffed them. The scent drove me wild and smeagle twitched.

I climbed back into the bath and lay down her knickers against my nose and mouth my other hand relieving my tension. I couldn't help myself and licked them. I furiously relieved myself and I smelled and tasted her. I imagined her there with me. In my mind it was her warmth squeezing me. My hand moved faster and faster. I started to feel that wonderful buzz of a climax building I suckled on the crotch of her knickers like it was the first time I'd tasted her I imagined it was her, she was standing over me riding my tongue. With a shout of her name I came undone. I felt good for a few minutes. Then the pang of loneliness kicked me when I remembered she was at home. Once I had calmed down I wrapped the complimentary bath robe around me and decided I would try to sleep. Coco was in my bed.

"Get out of my bed Coco. You have a room of your own."

She huffed as she left. Muttering about vile little whores. I was too tired to chase after her and argue. I got back into bed and curled up with Kerry's knickers next to my heart.