My Story.

I don't want to go.

We got asked to leave Harrods. We got called into Fayed's office. I cancelled my fiancé's wedding list. Well we didn't need anything in the first place and we certainly wouldn't need it anymore.  We got Joe from the changing room. He found it quite hilarious as to why we got kicked out. We discussed the wedding list. Joe was as confused as me as to why the list had a chair on it that cost nearly £6,000.  Kerry hardly spoke. I'm guessing she found it extremely embarrassing to have Joe know what had happened. The only thing she said was.

"If I ever get married I want people to donate money to charity instead of buying me presents."

She was officially A-MAZ-ING!! Such a selfless person. Not at all hung up on materialistic things. She continued to look out of the window throughout the journey. I laced our fingers together and kissed her knuckles. When we stopped outside the next destination she thrust a £20 note into the drivers hand and told him to keep the change. He was well chuffed. Who wouldn't be with an £8 tip. He sped off before I could get it back off him. I was about to protest but she literally held up her hand and said.

"I pay my own way."

I was ready to explode with frustration with her. Joe was laughing that hard he snorted. I led her into the shop. She immediately asked what we were doing in Vivienne Westwood's shop. Joe simply said shopping. She scowled at first but I could tell she liked some of the stuff. After all it was a more detailed (albeit expensive) version of the look she was going for when she was trying to piss the twat off. We were greeted by a few gasps then from the back of the shop came that unmistakable voice.

"Well fuck me backwards. It's shagger stardust...RIGHT EVERYONE OUT. OI YOU I SAID OUT."

She locked the door behind the last person to leave. She walked over to us. She dragged one of her talons down my arm snaked her arms around my waist and grabbed my arse cheeks. I prized her hands away. She licked my chin.

"Hello Viv."

"Hello sexy. I'm not kidding. You can fuck me backwards any time you want....is this gorgeous beast little Zowie? He's the spit of you isn't he? "

Joe corrected her about his name and told Viv exactly what he felt about his birth mother when she asked him what Angie thought about him changing his name.

" Ooh he's a feisty one. Can I keep him? Is he the spitting image of you completely?"

Her gazed travelled down and Joe stepped behind Kerry. She looked Kerry up and down.

"Lucky girl. You bagged a Bowie. You'll share him with me won't you? You can have the top half and I'll take the bottom. Especially if he's as blessed as his dad is."

"Nock it off Viv."

Joe lost his cool and told her that Kerry was with me. I pulled Kerry closer. Viv's eyebrows raised but she said nothing.

"Have a good look around darlings. I'll keep this one company while you look."

I reassured Kerry that it was okay to look and once I'd had a chat with Viv I would be with her. Joe had disappeared. Kerry tentatively wondered no more than 15 feet away. I sparked up and waited for the onslaught. It didn't take long.

"So you've broken up with the African Queen?"

"Yes."

"Where did you find the baby?"

"She's 18 soon and she was brought to rehearsals by one of Coco's friends."