My Dark Past [Completed]

Chapter Fifty: The Funeral

No on can ever prepare for something like this... no one knows the feeling of loss unless it's someone extremely close to you. No words can describe how heartbroken I feel today, today will be my father's funeral and I just feel that I've lost a limb or something... but no matter how much pain I'm feeling right now Peeta has been the shoulder that I can cry on, day and night. Peeta's been my hero throughout this entire process by making my life more easier and he even took enough courage to plan the funeral with Prim which I was more than thankful for. Willow has slowly understood that she won't see her granddad anymore which has made her a little upset but Peeta and I are there for her whenever she needs us.

I stand there looking down at the new grave stone that's been added to our local cemetery... Beloved brother, husband and father those words engraved into the stone above where my father is under. I hold Owen on my hip as Willow places the flowers down by his grave stone and then walks over to Peeta to take his hand, he smiles sadly at her than looks at me, I turn to the smooth grave stone with my father's name on it

"I'm gonna miss you, dad. Everyday" I say softly and I feel an arm wrap around me, I look to see Peeta and he kisses my cheek

"He'll miss us too. I know that he was extremely proud to be your father" Peeta admits rubbing my waist and I smile looking up at him

"I love you" I say kissing him

"And I love you, more than anything. Besides these two" he smiles at Willow who clings to his hand and Owen who sleeps on my chest, even though my father's gone, I still have my small family that I hold dearly to my heart, my two children and amazing husband who I'd take many bullets for, I still have my small family to get me through this.

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"Are you sure your okay?" Peeta whispers in my ear as we stand in the living room of my moms and late fathers home which holds all the family and friends who were able to attend for some food with each other

"Yeah, I am. I feel like... if this happened back when I was still recovering from the whole Robert thing, it would've broke me... but, I have you and our beautiful children. It makes me feel like the world hasn't completely started to fall" I reply, he smiles then chuckles before kissing my temple, throughout the day I talk with individual family members to catch up with and frown when I spot my mom go upstairs, I follow her into the room that her and dad use to sleep together in

"Mom?" I say softly knocking on the open door, she looks to me and smiles, I walk in and sit next to her with a sigh

"He's gone but it feels that he's taken me with him, it must be this house... you know your father chose this house when we first moved here. I hated it at first and thought he was nuts but when I saw you girls making your lives throughout these walls, it grew on me and I'm in love with this house but... I'm going to put it on the market and move into a unit by myself, it's okay Katniss, I'll be fine. I've wanted this and even your father suggested it before he passed" she explains and I give a small smile

"You're really brave mom... you've kept your emotions in check but I am your daughter, I don't care if I see you cry, I mean your grieving so it's okay to cry" I smile rubbing her shoulders and eventually her sobs come out and she starts crying, I just sit there and comfort my widowed mother, it's not too long till I hear little footsteps

"Grandma! Don't cry! It's okay!" Willows voice is heard as she sits next to her grandmother, mom finishes crying and chuckles a little

"Thank you, darling. I'm all better now" she replies with a smile and Willow hugs her, I look over at the doorway where Peeta stands smiling while holding Owen who tries reaching for me so he walks in as well and gives me Owen

"I feel bad, I don't want you to sleep by yourself tonight, mom" I frown and she sadly smiles

"It's okay. I'll be fine"

"No, really mom. You can stay with us tonight, please, it'll make me feel good knowing that your not alone tonight" I reply and she sighs

"What do you think?" She asks looking at Willow

"Yes! Come sleepover grandma!" She happily cheers and I chuckle

"Come on, Susan. Let's get you packed" Peeta smiles taking my moms hand while I take the children downstairs and into the car, I sit in the back with Willow and Owen so my mom is comfortable, no matter how much she protested.

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That night we watched loads of movies till very late at night, way past Willows bedtime but we had made an exception seeing as mom was here but now it's even past my bedtime, as much as I love Peeta but I wouldn't trust him tucking them in himself which is why when I'm asleep the children need to be asleep, whereas now I have my mom to tuck Willow in and I trust her because although she spoils Willow, she's stern when it comes to what Peeta and I say about them which Willow knows and it makes tonight so much easier.

After putting Owen in his crib to sleep, I check on Willow who is sound asleep and so is my mom in the guest room. I sigh finally entering my room and shutting the door, I get dressed for bed and redo my braid

"You're mom is good with tucking Willow in" Peeta says from the bathroom as he brushes his teeth and I join him after I'm done

"I know... their a cute pair..." I smile starting to brush mine as he continues

"She's lucky she has her two daughters with beautiful children" he admits

"She sure is, I think she knows it too which is why she isn't in a worse state" I reply, we both continue to finish then we get into bed

"I just wish that she doesn't have to live alone..." I sigh cuddling up to him

"Well, maybe she'll enjoy it? Besides she's welcome to visit as much as she wants" he replies

"Mm, true. You've got such a tender heart Peeta" I smile rubbing his chest

"You give me the strength" I look up to him and see that he's smiling, we share a long but sweet kiss and share our goodnights, I've got Peeta and a loving family in my life to help me through this, besides I know that my dad will be watching over me... everyday and that's all I need.