Loved you First (Niall Horan Fanfic)

Chapter 23

Ashton's eyes stare into my own, they're bright and are expecting me to be excited, happy, maybe even jump around in anticipation. But I remain still, my body fixed in the position it was before he told me the news. The exact news I didn't want nor expected to hear.

"Hellloooo" he grins and comically waves his hand in front of my face, my camera was held in his other, what a great idea it was to film my reaction, great 10/10 content for my vlog, but now it looked at me and I feared it.
"Did you hear me? We're going on tour with One Direction!" he repeated in the same excited manner, I'm aware of the camera again and muster up a smile and a slightly excited expression.

"What really?!" I manage to say "that's so cool" it sounded so fake but it was better than braking down and crying which is what I really wanted to do.

It was hard but I held my happy exterior all through the airport and as we boarded the plane for the long flight to London. I asked Ashton to film the plane taking off as he's nearer to window, but the truth is my hands won't stop shaking, as he looks away I hold my trembling hand to my face and watch it betray me.
Relief washes over me when I heard the ping indicating the freedom for me to rush to the plane toilets.

Sliding the door shut my fingers fumbled to lock it, and lock out the world. I turn to the mirror and place my hands on either side and stare at my plain face. My hair was shoved into a bun on my head and I was sporting a oversized 5Sos hoodie with black leggings.
We were heading straight from the airport to the venue, Niall would see me like this, bare faced and eyes red from the tears that had started to form in them.

The fuck am I going to do, my mind spirals, I was doing just fine without him, yeah I missed him sometimes but not enough for him to come back into my life, and not enough for me to see him everyday. It was hard enough when he was on X Factor performing, but now I'd have to watch him live his dream and girls cheer his name every night.
A small part of me wanted to see him, my childhood instinct was to always make sure he was okay.
The room began to spiral along with my thoughts. I could feel my breathing getting worse and my stomach becoming tight, along with that overpowering sickening feeling. Not now.

"Jeez, Em" Ashton remarked when I returned to my seat "I was starting to think you'd fallen down the toilet" he grinned, man that guy was always so happy.
I gave him a small smirk earning a small frown from him, it was rare that I didn't have something to say back.

The music that flowed through my headphones gave me a sense of comfort. I would show Niall I'm strong and happy and I'll be myself. Seeing him will instinctively make me shy and nervous but he'd know from a mile away. It'd be hard but I could just ignore him or pretend I'd never met him before. Though I recon Ash would know somethings up, he knows me too well.
The only conclusion I came to was that I'd be myself and do whatever I feel like in the moment, but not to get in the way of the tour and let everyone do their music.

****

"I spy with my little eye" Michael pauses to look round the room, his gaze falls on on the exit right at the back of the O2 Arena. "E" he announced in triumph

I rest my chin on my hand and look around the stage we were all sat on, pretending to think really hard. "By any chance is it-"
"Elephant!" Calum cries out and we all turn and look at him "no Calum, but good try" Mike pats him on the shoulder.
" it's exit, it's literally lit up" I say
"No it's not" Michael replied "not exit, try again"
"What?" I cry " how is it not exit, what else is there beginning with E?" I argue frantically looking around the room.

Calum interrupts " guys, the 1d lads are gunna be here in 10 minutes," he looks down at his phone again.

Ash stands up and looks down at us laying around on the stage "should we like actually rehearse or...." he trails off

"Nahhhhh" I wave my hand, "we'll just put some music on the speakers and give them a grand entrance, you have all day tomorrow and there's sound check as well before, so you can just do it then" as always encouraging the procrastination.

After that we continue to mess around with the speakers and get the tech guy to put our music on before we brake them.
I win the argument to connect my phone to the speakers in the arena and shuffle my music and the first thing to come on happens to be Cotton Eyed Joe, I mean talk about an amazing music taste.

Luke continues to lay on the floor while Michael and Calum link arms and spin around.
"Fancy a dance ma lady?" Ashton holds his bent arm out to me and I loop mine through, linking our arms together.
"Why thank you mister" I say in a dodgy Texas kinda accent and we begin skipping round in a circle.

NIALLS POV

The van door is pulled open and the lads and I rush out all at once pushing through the door like a bunch of children.
"Come on guys" Paul sighs probably sick of us already from the long drive and mostly having to look after us, and it's barely been a day "the shows at six thirty tomorrow, sound check at five, so just chill and get yourselves sorted today, Sarah's put on a little spread in the main room backstage so make sure to eat and try not to trash your dressing room." He lists off the itinerary and warnings about messing up dressing rooms, the first of many that we'll get every day.
"And the support band, 5 seconds of summer, yeah, they're on stage right now so go straight through."

We all wander though the backstage corridors to the main arena, I recall Louis or Liam telling me the 5sos lads had brought a girl along with them on the tour and she'd be joining us travelling, they said she did some of their promoting on YouTube as well as being their best friend and only had been referred to as Em. I hope she's chill and can be able to put up with a bunch of crazy idiots for a couple of months, because other than musicians that's all we really are.

Backstage wasn't really the most soundproofed place and as we got nearer to the main stage the unmistakable sound of Cotton Eyed Joe was blasting through the room. I laughed, that song just reminds me of the parties and stuff I'd go to as a kid, having to link up with someone and skip around in a circle. It was normally Emma who was the victim and was on the receiving end of my enthusiastic spinning, we'd spin too fast and fall to the floor in fits of laughter.
Good times, I smiled at the thought.

We push through the side door to the stage. The area is huge and it hits me that we sold out this place and even had to add more dates, it's incredible. Some fans had already started to camp out the entrance for tomorrow it was crazy.
Looking towards the stage I remember always wanting to play up there, but right now the stage was occupied by the members of 5sos and their friend.

Luke was laid in the floor scrolling through his phone while Calum and Michael were flinging each other round in circle slightly resembling the dance. Ashton was skipping round with their friend Em, even from this distance I could see her hair whining round and over the music I could hear her laugh.
It sounded so happy and familiar, I just couldn't quite put my finger on it.

The music stopped, Calum and Michael fell to the stage with a loud thud, completely warn out and dizzy.
The lads and I were closer to the stage now and there faces were coming into view. Ashton helped her off stage and they walked towards us.
I froze, my eyes widened. No it couldn't be. My mum told me that she moved away, how did she, why is she here?
But there she was my childhood best friend, she was beaming and still laughing with Ashton as they stopped in front of us.