OO-RAH!

Chapter 10

After dinner, Chase and I was sitting on the back porch. We didn't really say anything to each other for a long time, he just sat there rubbing his hands together and staring at his feet. I told myself not to rush out of anything until he explained everything, but it's almost been five minutes of silence. 

"Listen, if you're gonna end whatever this is between the two of us just say it. I have better things to do than just sit here and think of every situation this could be about." I blurt out. He kinda jumped when I spoke, my words coming out a little more forward that he expected. "I'm tough, I can handle it." I say, leaning back against the step behind my back, focusing on the nearly blacked sky beyond the Taylors' property. I went to speak again, but he finally spoke up, and I wish he hadn't. 

"I have to go back, Hayden." he said. He didn't dare look at me when he said this, knowing that it was gonna hurt me more than it would him. "I got the call today from my Sergeant. He said they have to cut my leave short by a week due to some pretty serious casualties overseas and they need me and few others from my team to go in for back up." he said. I felt my chest tighten up, but it wasn't in the good way like when he kissed or smiled at me. This was the painful kind, where my jaw clenched and my throat became dry. I swallow hard, trying to quench the nonexistent dryness of my throat. 

"When do you leave?" I ask with a shaky voice. I continue to stare out into the space in front of me. I didn't search for anything in particular, I just couldn't look at Chase. I didn't want to start crying or get angry, so I avoided his look as much as I could. 

"Three days." he said. He sounded discouraged, about his shortened leave, having to leave his family, his new friends, me. I finally muster up the courage to look at him, even though I could feel the stinging of tears in my eyes. 

"They can't do that. It's not fair, you had an entire week left." I say angrily. Chase keeps his arms resting on his elbows but looks at me with a calm and considerate expression. 

"They can, Hayden. It's rare to cut a leave short, but they had no choice. Some guys got hurt pretty bad and my team was the only other one stationed out there. I don't have a choice." he said, a little frustrated himself. He looks back down and his feet at lets out a quick breath through his nose. 

"What if you go and end up just like those other guys?" I asked, this time my voice was raised. My whole body was facing him now.

"You don't think I don't know that? I signed up for this career when I was eighteen. I knew all the risks that came with it, but I wanted to help people, to make a difference, to be the hero others need in life. I'm helping the Marines Corps by going back and finishing the job. I'm helping the men that got injured by picking up where they left off so they don't have to worry while they sit in hospital beds. I'm helping everyone else by doing my job. It's my duty to do this kind of stuff." he said. He looked at me and saw how crushed I was. I could feel the heat all over my face and my chest, my eyes burning with the threat of spilling tears, my fists clenched where they rested. He just looked at me with remorse. 

"This was something I was afraid of. You're going back, leaving all of this, leaving me. And I can't do anything about it, and even if I could I still wouldn't. I wouldn't keep you from doing what you were destined to do, something so dangerous and honorable as that. But I still can't help but think about everything that could happen during the time you'll be gone." I say. I turn away again as I feel a tear betray my eyes and slide down my cheek. I clenched my jaw to keep it from quivering. "I actually thought that you were the perfect guy for me, and I never thought about guys the way I think about you. I told you no because I was afraid to lose you when it would be too late. I didn't think I could take that kind of heartbreak again." I say. I don't try to keep the tears in anymore. I just let them spill, seeing no point anymore.