OO-RAH!

Chapter 14

Chase proposed this morning. He practically spilled his heart out to me. I didn't know if he was crazy, or just that love sick. We were in the truck now, on our way to the airport. His grandparents sat up front, with Mr. Taylor driving, and Chase and I say in the back. It was such awkward silence. Chase didn't tell them that he proposed this morning, which means he also didn't tell them that I had told Chase that it was so sudden that I needed time to think about it. I know it sounds cruel, especially after everything he said to me. I know that most girls would be saying yes, balling their eyes out. I know my sister and cousin would be happy with whatever choice I made, but I also knew my parents would want me to make what I thought was the best decision. But for me, the best decision was to think about what would be best for me and for Chase.

On one hand, I wanted to say I couldn't. I thought about being married to him, constantly having to say good-bye. What if we had kids, and I was left to raise them on my own? How would I explain to them why he was always leaving? What would happen to the farm? What would happen to Daisy after she has the baby? Where would she live? I had so many responsibilities thrown at me already, and just the thought of marriage, and possibly starting a family scared me and made me want to hide in my room for years. But I loved him.

On the other hand, I wanted to scream yes. I wanted to throw myself at him and profess my love for him. I wanted to wake up next to him every morning he was home, and share my life with him. I wanted to be that proud military wife that had the best husband in town that everyone was jealous of. I wanted a family with him, to have a kid or two running around that had his eyes and my hair. I wanted happiness forever, to give him someone to come back home to. I wanted something positive in my life of sorrow. I wanted new life in my days of death and losing my family. But I hadn't even known him for a month.

I hadn't told Daisy or Billie-Mae about the proposal either. I didn't want them freaking out and making this decision anymore difficult than it already was. Chase and I weren't even looking at each other. I felt like I had hurt him by not saying yes, so I didn't want to push it. I glanced at him every now and then, but every time I looked he was either staring out the window or straight ahead. Then he suddenly leaned forward.

"Okay, I can't stand this silence. If we're all gonna be mopey, we're gonna be mopey with the radio on." he says, reach for the volume knob on the radio system. The Taylors were silent the whole time. Mrs. Taylor looked like she was on the verge of crying, and Mr. Taylor kept a neutral face. When the music was at a good volume, the familiar sound of Dolly Parton's voice played out of the speakers. Her song "River of Happiness" began to play, the upbeat rhythm making me smile. This was one of my mom's favorite songs. She would sing it whenever Daisy or I were having a really bad day. My lips sync with the lyrics as I stare out the window, drowning out as many sorrows as I could. But there was this one specific verse that I just couldn't stop thinking about, even after the song had ended"

"Come with me to this place I speak of,

"Together, we'll find it, this place is called love."

It reminded me of how Chase would tell me that he'd always be with me, even when I was scared. That I wouldn't be alone even when he was gone. With what seemed like too soon, we had arrived to the airport. The truck was parked and we got Chase's ticket and boarding pass, and we were now on our way to his gate. I didn't look to see where he was going, for fear that it would only make this harder. I guess Chase saw the sadness on my face, because he reached for my hand and held it as we walked down the long walkways. Almost everyone we passed stared at us. Chase was dressed in his camies, and had a straight face as he focus ahead of him. I thought I remembered packing a good pair of jeans, a white shirt and my sandals, but when I went to get dressed this morning, I had found a white summer dress and my dress boots instead. Daisy must've switched my clothes when I was asleep. Having no choice, I put it one and Chase was rather shocked to see me wearing a dress.