Breathe [jungkook]

4: Unknown pain

I stepped out of the car, admiring the skyscrapers around me with rounded eyes. It was as if I've never stepped onto this place before, ironically, I really had never step my foot on Seoul, Korea before. I toss and spin beside the car, still don't believe that I'm in the middle of the city after months grounded in the mansion.

"So you decided to come to a mall ?" Jungkook came beside me with his now half-covered face. His voice muffled under the black mask he had always on since earlier. My eyes then fell onto him, still smiling at the thought of being in the big city that everyone dreaming on coming. He looked at me with eyes full of questions which I couldn't decipher, but I don't think its the right time for me to ask him why.

"Yeah. Eomma gave me some money to buy clothes." I pat the purse I had always carried. His brows yet again crooked in confusion as he followed me entering the mall.

"You already have a lot in your closets. Why more ?" he asked me. I rolled my eyes at his question.

If you had already seen the closet, you would have known how boring they were.

I decided to ignore his question, overwhelmed by the amount of people wander around the mall. I saw people laughing to each other, couples being lovey-dovey, and a family with a big smiles on them. Smiles had it best on me, didn't realize a pair of eyes has been looking at my reaction, making him question how foreign I am to him then.

I then started to wander off , the same as everyone there. Jungkook just followed me from here and there, didn't say anything. I then stopped at a store where there's collection of clothes that woman around my age would wear. I smiled before stepping in into the store.

My hands touched every clothes I walked pass, examined the fabric they used on each of them. 

"Are you buying these clothes ?" I heard Jungkook's voice asking me with a little surprise tone. I glanced for awhile before continued on looking for the one that attract me.

Is it weird for me to buy them ? 

I then bumped to a plain yet very elegant cream-colored blouse. The fabric it used were perfect to put on my soft skin. I moved my hand up and down on the sleeve of the blouse, feeling satisfied at my first item to buy today. 

"Do you want to try it on, miss ?" a soft voice heard from my side and I turned to look. She was in a uniform, enough telling me that she's one of the worker there. I smiled at her before nodding. She did the same as if she was a mirror, before showing me the way to the changing room. (She knows da wae)  

I then changed myself into the blouse, and it was perfect on me. I love how the soft fabric followed the curves on my slim body. The chest area were also playing a big role on the blouse, which I pretty satisfied at my choice.

I walked out of the changing room, and searched for Jungkook. I have this feeling of wanting to show him and seeing his reaction. He looks rather baffled when he saw me in the hoodie, as if he never saw me before. I wanted to see him when i'm in blouse now.

"Jungkook-ah." I called out for him when I saw him looking down to his phone. He then looked up to me, and I wanted to laugh at his priceless emotion. His eyes which were already round, getting bigger as I step closer to him, holding my laugh by biting my lower lips.

"What do you think ?" I asked him, flatting the fabric on my stomach. He still staring at me when I reached in front of him. I snapped my fingers in front of him, trying to get him back to the real world, which were effective as his eyes flattered after that.

"Y-You look different." he said. "A good different." he added. I chuckled at his cute reaction. I turned around and told the worker earlier that I'm taking this blouse. 

After that, we went to another store and received his yet another priceless reaction.

"Are you really going to buy that ?" he pointed to the shorts in my hand. I nodded with an amused smirk. I love how he asked me if i'm seriously going to buy these kind of clothes. Its apparent that he had never saw her in these kind of clothes before.

After a long journey of getting myself new clothes, we decided to stop a restaurant with less people since Jungkook asked to. We sat at the corner of the restaurant which was no one there, only the both of us. I don't know why but I guess he doesn't like crowded place.

"Where's your friend ?" I asked him. I remembered that he was with his friends, and I earlier thought I could hanging out with all of them, not going to the mall with just the two of us. its not like I don't like it.I'm just asking. 

"They're at the dorm." he answered while munching to his food.

"Dorm ? Are you guys in college ?" I asked curiously. He's a year older than me, so he might be in a college. I bet many girls in the college head over heels her. He's such a hottie.

"No. I'm an idol from BTS. You don't know ? That's why I wore my mask." he answered, giving me a look before continuing eating his lunch, completely forgot that I supposed to be amnesia, but I really don't know BTS. He said it as if everyone knows him. I rolled my eyes before eating my food.

We don't talk to each other after that. I don't know what to say to him. During the time we had shopping for my clothes, he seems distant to me, different to how he treat me at my home.

Were all of them just.. a facade he played in front of my parents ?

"Are you happy being with me today ?" I asked him, watching his reaction. He then coughed a little my question before looking up to me. He was about to say something, but the words as if stuck in his throat as he saw how serious I am now. I watched as his wrists slowly fell to the table, body leaning to the chair.

"Not as happy as I should." he told me, which I felt like someone clenched my chest into a fist. 

"O-oh. So you're really are forced to marry me ?" I asked, hoping that he would answer something that could replace the disappointment in me. All I heard was a silent from him, which answered my question.

"I'm sorry, Haeri-ssi. I tried to love you, but I couldn't. I do this for my family." his answer completely made me lose my appetite. I couldn't believe I believed that he was in love with me from how he treat me like a princess at my home. I guess, its a good thing that I wanted to go out today. At least I learn something that could makes me prepare for the future.

"I-I understand. Its our parents wishes that they want us to be together." I told him, placing the fork and knife each side of my plate, didn't have any more appetite to continue eating. I saw him did the same.

"Wanna go home ?" he softly asked me, which I quickly nodded to it. 

The journey back home was occupied with silent, rather an awkward one. 

I wasn't suppose to feel this way. I'm a no one to him. I'm just a lucky soul that stuck in the body of someone else. You aren't suppose to feel this disappointed, Aurora.

He doesn't even know that you're exist.

As we reached my house, He helped me carry the bags full with my clothes. He sent me to the front door with his hand rested on my waist.

Its hurt. Why is that ?

We bid goodbyes before I closed the door in front of me. I stood there for a moment, letting the bags that carried my clothes fell to the floor. I then slowly brought my hand to my aching chest, holding it tight to reduce the pain that keep stabbing onto my heart.

Why ? Why does it still hurting ?