Breathe [jungkook]

6: Withering facade

The night went well. Well, not for me and Jungkook. My parents unusual happiness yesterday was because they wanted to announce us something, which got the both of us shocked.

The wedding would be in a week.

And here I am in the bride's room, with a white gown chose by my mother. I sat at my place, looking down as a stylist did my hair. I looked up to my beautiful self in my reflection. My face got a well done make up on it. She looks like a goddess.

I then saw reflection of my mother from the mirror as the stylist walked away. Her face was in tears, which softened my heart. Seeing her holding tears from our mansion and broke down here could also broke her heart if she saw this.

"Eomma.." I softy called her name. She frantically wiped off her tears before hummed, smiling.

"Come sit here. I'll do your hair." My eyes moved to her hair that she left free. She has a very beautiful dress on her, so her hair need to be tend beautifully too.

I stood up, ignoring the her confused face. I pulled her gently by her arm and made her sit down on the chair. I squeezed her shoulders gently before tracing my fingers through her soft hair.

"When did you learn to style hair ?" she asked me, watching me flicking her hair professionally which she never seen before.

"I have my ways." I told her smiling while we making eye contact through the reflection of the mirror. 

I braided her long hair and put it into a bun. I dressed her hair with beautiful fake tiny flower on the bun.

After finishing it, I exclaimed "Wahh my mother is so beautiful." which was not Haeri at all, but I was careless then, but no one caught me.

Mother was still amazed by the way I styled her hair. She slowly brought her hand to her hair, afraid to touch it like she was handling some fragile things on her head. I placed both of my hands on her shoulders.

"What do you think ?" I said under my breath, was watching her checking herself on the mirror.

"It-It's beautiful." she said which brought a huge smile on my face. 

"That's right. You look like someone who's going to get married here." I chuckled before planting a peck on her cheek. She giggled after I pecked on her cheek and her hand found it ways to my cheek.

"I love you, Haeri." she said, looking at me through the mirror. I was taken aback from what has come out from her mouth. My heart got heavier at the strong word she had used on me. Its not because I don't love her,

It because I wasn't Haeri.

"I know." I forced a fake smile as I wrapped my arms around her shoulder, hugging her. She patted on my arm as affection before letting go.

The door then opened from outside, stood there a handsome old man with a black tuxedo on him. His hair were pushed back with some kind of gel making it still perfectly on him. Some hair from both sides of his hair were grey, telling me that he's aging.

"Both of you are beautiful as always." he exclaimed with a smile.  I grinned as I looked at mother. She were also smiling when she looked at me.

"Haeri, it's time." he said to me. My heart suddenly pounding hard. I couldn't calm. My smile just went off from my face as I heard that. I'm still not ready yet. 

My warm hand instantly turned cold. My gazes wander off around the room, couldn't focus to anything. Before I could go any more nervous, I felt a rough hand wrapped around my soft ones. My eyes instantly went to the owner, looking at him with my brows cocked in worried.

"You're going to do good up there, Haeri. You should be the happiest girl in the world today. Come on, smile." he whispered to me, gathering my strength that's about to crumple. 

"Yes, appa. I'll become the happiest girl in the world." I smiled as I gave him a reassuring squeeze to his hand.

The walk to the hall was nerve-wrecking. My gripped to my father's hand were tight, I wonder if he felt pain at all. He doesn't even show flinch or uncomfortable on his face. Whenever I looked at him and we made an eye contact, he would gave me a reassuring smile, somewhat calmed me. 

Even after all of that, standing in front of the huge door that I could already guess what's beyond it, scares me. The thought of marrying with someone that don't love me were always nightmares to me. Especially in my case, I don't think I can live without any guilt in my heart. 

I've lied to everyone, and I'm marrying to someone that doesn't know the former owner of this body had already dead.

My father then gently moved my hand and hooked his arm over mine. His action had grabbed me out of my nervousness and meet with his elderly smiles. I grazed my teeth to my lower lips to get myself together, didn't even care if I messed up the lipsticks on my lips. 

The door then opened from inside and I felt like blood had gone from my body. My whole body was cold to the point when you cut down my face, I don't think the blood would gush out. The short route to the altar seems so long. My eyes darted to the altar where stood a young man who wear a black tuxedo on him, looking at me with a priceless look. He looked so handsome up there, which his hair gelled back. 

From that moment, I don't know what happened after that. I just let my father lead me to the altar and I saw him saying something to Jungkook, but my mind was blank to know what was it. He said something before handing me to Jungkook. 

Now here I am, standing in front of him. My eyes slowly raised to look into his eyes which holding mine gently. My surroundings were still muted, only him was in my vision looking oh-so-angelic. How can he makes me feel love even though he doesn't ? He's a good actor.

"Haeri-ssi ?" Everything slowly became clear as I heard his voice. His voice was on whisper with a worried look. I suddenly had the urge to heave in the air, as if i've been holding my breathe. The anxiety suddenly came hit me like a truck. I was about to lose myself when I felt a hard grip to both of my hands. My eyes fell to a huge hands wrapped around mine, transferring strength to my whole being. I finally doesn't feel any nervous now. I looked up to him, eyeing his eyes that slowly softened and smiled.

"Do you, Park Haeri, take Jeon Jungkook as your husband ?" the priest asked me, seeming like the second time already. I glanced at him before looking back at Jungkook who had been squeezing my hand. I took a deep breath, focusing on him so I won't exploding here. 

"I do." I said in a haste. Tears threatening to fall from my eyes. I held it in to not blow it up. I held it in as Park Haeri.

Park Haeri won't cry. Park Haeri was a strong person. She won't cry. 

"You may kiss the bride." 

She can't cry.

As I felt a soft lips planted onto mine, a tear unconsciously fell down to my cheek as I closed my eyes to the kiss that I hope it was me he meant for.