Forever and Always

Chapter 35

I may be over exagerating things... Nobody seems to get it. It's like everybody just wants me to suffer and nobody wants to even help me out at all. What did I ever do to deserve this!? How am I supposed to be happy and care free when my life seems like a complete hell hole right now where all the demons in me can feast off of my pain and suffering? Can anybody explain that to me!? No nobody can because nobody's never gone what I'm going through! I freakin' hate my life so much! Why didn't I just leave my whole entire life behind me? Like completely LEAVE so I won't have to suffer anymore of this crap. Eli and Reed are probably wondering where I am right now. In my head I'm ready to leave this world and let my darkness take over. Outside my head all I just see is people sitting in their respective seats, waiting patiently for the plane to land and they can get on with their life. Families, singles, prize winners, whatever! I hate everybody. As soon as my life starts to get better, things decide to go the other way around and fuck it all up like a prank that will never end. I step in their trap everywhere I go. Not even music can help me today... or any day.

When I get back I know I'm going to find something I won't like. Probably Eli trying to stop Reed from cutting himself for some unknown reason. I'm not there to hold him in my arms and tell him that it'll be okay and he has nothing to worry about because I'm there for him. I feel so stupid for leaving and staying away for so long.

Reed... Eli... I'm sorry I left. I won't go anywhere anymore. I promise you two that I'll stay. For you guys and for Seth and Matt. I won't leave for squat anymore!

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Reed:

Eli decided to take me to the beach. Along with the guy that was getting beat by his so called "friends." During the car ride last night he did tell us his name was Joseph. He stayed over at my place for the night. Good thing too... who knows what could've happened if we left him back there. For all I could think of is seeing the news early in the morning saying "Young man named Joseph has been missing since last night..." then blah blah blah reporters here and there rambling on about how they met 'witnesses' and all that crap. Okay that maybe to much but who cares.

There was kids, teens, adults. Mainly people of all ages at the beach just having fun.

I wonder... if it would've been more fun if... Kailey was here. I miss her so much... I wonder how she's doing so far. She hasn't texted or even called. It's okay I guess, she's enjoying her life with her family and friends.

"So Joseph..." Eli said awkwardly, "how'd you end up being friends with those dick heads?"

'Way to put it down gently...' I thought. Now that I think about it, how did he end up being with those guys? Huh... the world and people are an interesting alien. Ew I sounded nerdy. Ah screw it!

I decided to sit down at a random spot in the sand, feeling it's heat just made me want to get up and dust myself off like I was doing some kind of ancient ritual dance. Then again, I'm only dusting my pants off. No big deal.

Eli and Joseph sat next to me, staring out the ocean. There was a plane that passed by, to far up in the sky to see the people in the plane. "Well" Joseph started in and unpleasent tone "they were really good friends of mine back in highschool. Straight honor roles and everything" dammit it's a story... "Until we all got invited to one of this girl's party at her place. We accepted and went straight there. Loud music, beers, smoking, a pool, everything that says 'fuck life' really. Soon they got addicted to drinking and their grades plumited down. Getting in trouble - all that crap!" He said and looked down, hanging his head low at the sad in between his legs. That must've really sucked. Getting dragged into that situation too. But on the other hand, even though I'm a bit rebelious, I'd still back away from them. I mean come on! Common sense here people!

I wanted to shake my head so badly and give advice, but something kept telling me to keep my mouth shut. "Oh yeah, they mentioned this last night, now it's my question." Me and Eli both had out attention on him, "how long have you been lovers?" WHAT!?!?!?

"That's fucking disgusting!" I bursted out. Eli pretended to vomit on his opposite side, while Joseph was laughing at his mistake. "D-did I say something wrong?" He couldn't stop laughing. My eyes were so wide I felt like they could see the stars out on space like a telescope would. That's how big they felt. "Yes! We're not gay!" I furiously gestured to me and Eli, only to get more laughing from him. Eli seemed to be done on pretend vomitting around him, "now I really want to throw up..." he complained. That was the worst thing I could've ever heard in my life. And I thought the bowling thing was worse. But being mistakened as a couple seemed so... ugh... I respect gays and lesbians and all the rest, but I'm just not into guys that's all. "Haha sorry sorry."

"It's okay..." I said. Eli sat down and shook his head to get the image out.

[okay... not as long as I expected... Well all I'm saying is... we're.... near the end... just be patient.]