Beer and Spicy Rice Cakes

Chapter 6 - Caring [Jimin]

I barely found some sleep that night.

Whenever I closed my eyes, I was wide awake again and somehow found myself staring out of the window over the unfamiliar bed I layed on.

And whenever my stupid body decided to cry again, I rolled to the other side of the bed and looked at that boys face, who was sleeping deeply on the floor right next to me.

I didn't know how or why, but I catched myself finding reassurance in the calm sound of his breathing. 

As I layed there, not moving an inch, I just let it all out in complete silence, to not wake him up.

I still didn't understand, how this all happened.

I just knew, that my life wouldn't be the same anymore when I left this small place, because at some point of this night I realized, that I was done with all this.

The way I had lived it for the past 7 years, I couldn't take it anymore and I didn't want to, either.

And after that thought crossed my mind, I finally fell asleep, when the alarm clock on Jaehyun's nightstand showed me a light green five.

And it hit me like a bomb when it went off only four hours later.

I jumped up and blinked a few times, as the bright daylight completely flashed my eyes for a brief moment.

But when I realized, where I was, I calmed down instantly.

My gaze wandered to my right and I slightly smiled, when I saw him.

"Just.. how?", I quietly mumbled to myself and pushed the button of the alarm clock to finally shut it down.

How could he still be sleeping with that thing rioting next to him?

I decided to let him be for a little while and got up to walk to the tiny bathroom across the room, taking a huge step over his body, as quiet as somehow possible. 

For a moment I inspected my face in the mirror over the sink and slightly pressed my lips together without making any kind of sound.

I couldn't believe, he did that to me.

Again.

It wasn't the first time after all, but it still shocked me. And it made my insides curl up.

I felt my eyes burning again and quickly looked away from my own reflection.

I just couldn't handle it anymore.

I quietly bowed down a little, turned the tap on and shoved some water into my face. I felt dirty and I wanted nothing else more than burying this feeling forever.

Using soap and some of the never used cleanser, that guy had standing around on his sink, I washed my face until I finally felt a little bit better and looked into the mirror again.

Still shitty, but better than nothing. 

After I was done washing up, I left the bathroom, just to see Jaehyun leaning out of the window and smoking one of his cigarettes.

As I was watching him like that, an idea came to my mind and made me grin.

Quietly walking towards him, I snitched one of the cigarettes ouf of his package and placed my arms on the windowsill right next to him.

With a quick move, I took the cig from between his fingers, lit my own up on it and put it back between his lips. 

"Do you know, that you're talking in your sleep?"

I watched him and cracked up a little on the inside, when I saw him widen his eyes in shock. 

"What did I talk about? Did you hear something?!"

Now I couldn't hold it in anymore. I started laughing and took a hit of my cigarette.

"I'm kidding, calm your tits. Why? Had some nice dreams going on?"

I wiggled my eyebrows a little and he laughed out in disbelief.

And it was a goddamn good feeling to finally see him laughing. When I couldn't do anything for him, I wanted to at least make him laugh for a moment.

With a slight grin on my face, I let my gaze wander over Seouls Skyline which was greatly visible from this spot.

And it was a million times better than always watching the same old building in front of the window of my own flat.

I liked it here.

And I liked having this huge human next to me.

I couldn't tell what it was, but he had something to him that I didn't want to leave anymore.

After we were done smoking, he left me standing at the window and I watched him digging around in his room.

It was obvious, that he was looking for something, even if I didn't know what it was, as he didn't tell me.

But it was quite amusing.

Having this 6 feet dude walking around, bumping his head on some things.

And when he finally found what he was searching for, I smiled for a moment.

He approached me again, took my hand and put something inside of it.

As I looked down to the thing, I realized it was a pretty old phone, and catched up on his glance again.

His eyes were glowing down at me and I slightly tilted my head. 

"You said he broke your phone.. I have to go to work now. You can stay here as long as you need to, but when something's wrong or stuff like that.. just call me. Number's in there."

I let my eyes wander from his face to the small phone and back up to him and suddenly wasn't able to talk anymore.

I felt like crying again.

How could a person possibly be so ridiculously caring and kind? 

I just nodded slightly, looking up to him with widened eyes, before he smiled softly and turned around to leave for work.

After the door was closed behind him, I sat down to the foot of his bed and stared at the phone for something around ten minutes.

It was such a small gesture, but it shook the hell out of me.