not just a memory( r5 fanfic)

chapter 22

HOLLY'S POV

i watched everybody else scurry out of the room leaving just me and ross . " holly ? can we talk " ross asks . " no we cannot " i raise my eyebrows still confused why he wants to talk when he knows it will turn into argument . i fold my arms and ross walks towards me.  " okay fine i'll talk . you listen " he shrugs and then sits on his bed . since his bed was aross from mine i sat on my own bed and prepared to keep in my anger for what he had to say ." im a jerk " he frowns. i nod in agreement. " do i make you feel un wanted " he asks.  i nod.  " do i make you feel un loved " he asks. i nod again. " its not your sister's or family is it? im the reason you feel scared? "he questions. i nod again  looking  down at my hands. " do i make you feel crazy. anything i do.  do i mess with your feelings "he asks. i nod again feeling.my eyes water. " im sorry hollister " he sighs. my head shoots up he never calls me that anymore.  he faced away from me his hands on his chin like he was thinking. i cock my head.  what is this about.  " im sorry i don't  give you the love i should " he says choking a few tears back. " im sorry i dont show you how much i care about you " he continues.  " and i don't  treat you the way i should.  and that i don't trust my feelings when im around you " he turns around so i can see his teary eyes. he's trying to stay strong. he stands up. " but holly i love you. even if i don't show it. " he says looking at me. by now.my mascara was running. " then why do you treat me like this ross "i ask finally with my voice cracking. " because i am trying to push you away. because you are my bestfriend and i never thought i would fall for you but i did. i just can't believe i did and.im trying to push all that away " he answers.  " so im so bad you can't imagine being with me " i huff and stand up but turned away from ross. " no holly you got it all wrong " he turns me around. " i am just trying to figure out why i got to be the lucky person that fell for the most beautiful, amazing sweet and innocent little girl named holly thomas. " he smiles and some glossy tears fell. the tears he tried to hold back. " ross " i sniffle . " you don't mean that ". " of course i do holly. every word." he tells me he pulls me into a hug. i push him away. this was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy to dramatic for me . " ross your the most dramatic person on earth " i laugh at him . his hurt face turned into a grin.. " and you never liked dramtic cliche stuff . i remember that " we boh crackup for know reason . man i must be tired acting so weird like this . " will you be my girlfriend " he asks . i stop . my heart stops , breathing , blood flow everything stops . my head starts spinning out of control .  feel a bit drunk if ya know what i mean .like a hangover or something . i looked ross . and i just stared at him . like he had 2 heads . i frown . " no . i will not be your girlfriend "he looked really sad . " but holly i-" " ross we just met each other " i interuppt him . " but ive know yu for-" " the knew each others. we both changed . and until we learn our diffrences i will not even think of dating you . " i cut him off again . he nods. " your right . so lets go back to the day we were at the lego table " he smiles . " hi " I smile and wave at ross. " hi " he waves back . " my name is Holly what is yours " I ask him gr . " my name is ross . aren't you a little to girly to play with legos " he asks me . " no ! I am not . " I cross my arms . " are too " he sticks out his tounge . " do I look girly to you " I ask him referring to my blue t shirt with a white jacket and plain skinny jeans with my worn out black converse. my brown hair was down and wavy how i like it these days. " well I guess not " he shrugs . " told you " I stick out my tounge . " whatever . what are you gonna build " he asks. " a space ship " I simply answer . " can I help " he questions . " sure " I shrug . me and ross shake hands after our childhood reanactment ." wanna be my best friend " he asks . " i think that will be just perfect " i smile up at him . " so best friends . just like the old days. " he smiles . " how about we just take one step at a time " i tell him . he nods " i agree" . " AAAAAWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" a chorus of people gush behind the door . " maybe we should get some sound proof door's " i laugh . ross laughs along . " GET A LIFE YOU NOSEY PEOPLE !!!!" he yells at his siblings, ratliff , and lauren . " WE AREN'T NOSEY " ryland protests. ross gave the door a look saying ' oh really ' in a sarcastic way . somehow knowng ross rydel said " ross stop giving us that look ". " what look " he asks as if he didn't just give them a ' look ' . " we know you better than that jersey shor !" ratliff said cracking up saying his old nickname. " OKAY JUST BECAUSE HOLLY IS ON THE BUS DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN USETHAT NAME !" he sighs . " IT'S OKAY GUYS CALL HIM WHATEVER YOU PLEASE " i smirk looking at ross . he frowns " hhhhhhhhhhhhooooooollllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy " " hey whatever you please . is it safe to come in now " ryland asks craking up along with ratliff . " your family has really dumb jokes" i tel him  ross nods with me . " THEY AREN'T DUMB " ratliff yells. " oh really ? whatever you please is it safe to come in now doesn't sound dumb to you ' i ask . " okay now that i hear it out loud " ryland sighs . " oww !" a girly shrek squeals. " dude what was that for ? " ryland asks . " you never give in to the dark side " ratliff scolds at him . " dude your slaps are the darkside " ryland complains probably rubing his wound . " it's safe to come in now just soyu know " i tell them . within seconds the door slides open . " did you kiss " rocky smirks . " dude " ross squints his eyes . " no we are best friends " i anser and playfullyshove ross on the bed . " what was that for " he asks looking up at me . " fun " i shrug an walk away . leaving everyne laughing

  I AM PUTTING THIS BOOK ON HOLD . I WILL NOT SAY REASONS . JUST KNOW I NEED SOME TIME. I HAVE A HUGE BRAIN FART ON TOP OF MY UN NAMED REASONS SORRY