not just a memory( r5 fanfic)

chapter 18

ROSS'S POV

I can't believe I said that . what was I thinking ? I just told the girl I love I shouldn't have become her friend . worst of all I said we shouldn't be friends . all I have done in her life is made it  worse . no wonder why she yells at me . UGH ! I am such a jerk . I am stupid , a jerk , and the worst person ever!!!!! I never ment anything I said . stupid mouth . why must you lie to the girl you love . " ROSS SHOR LYNCH !!" rydel marched angrily to me in my room . my head lifted from my hands revealing a red and tear stained face . " HOLLY IS CRYING IN HER ROOM RIGHT NOW ! SHE CAME OUT OF A CLOSET AND BROKE DOWN CRYING IN THE CENTER OF HER ROOM HOLDING A PICTURE OF YOU 2 WHEN YOU WERE 8 WHAT DID YOU DO !" SHE YELLED . she never yells . never . " I- I couldn't stop rydel . I blew it . my mouth yelled things I never ment I couldn't - I couldn't control it . I am the worst person ever . I deserve to die . I made her cry rydel . it was me . I hate myself . no matter how much I try it ends in a fight . it's only been 3 days . she hates me . I hate me . im a jerk . I love her . im in love with her . but she thinks I don't care . I act like I don't care I don't know why . I don't know why . "  tears stream down my face as I talk. " ROSS SHOR !! WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU -" I cut her off . " I DON'T KNOW !" I scream at her . then riker storms in . " HEY NO YELLING AT RYDEL ! MOM AND DAD SAID TO NEVER YELL AT GIRLS THEY TAUGHT US THAT ! SHOW RESPECT TO WOMEN ROSS !" he yells at me . " he made Holly cry ' rydel murmured . rikers face grew red hot . " ROSS !!!!!" he boiled . " LOOK RIKER I DON'T KNOW ! I DON'T KNOW HOW . MY MOUTH SPOKE WHAT IT NEVER MENT. I COULD NOT CONTROL MYSELF . I MADE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE CRY . DO YOU NOW HOW THAT MAKES ME FEEL ! I FEEL TERRIBLE . everything I do to help ends in fights . I ruined her life riker . not only hers but mine . " I shouted before crying more into the palms of my hands . " YOU REALLY MESSED UP ROSS " riker says stable but sternly . " but I think you need help . " he pauses and places a hand on my shoulder , ' so I will help you " he says . my head shot up . " really " I ask with hope . he nodded and I tackled him in a huge hug . " thank you " I mumble in his shoulder . " anything for my brother " he pats my back and chuckles . "so first things first " he starts

HOLLY'S POV

I clutched the picture of me and ross close to my chest . it was when we were 8 . we all were at the birthday party for my brothers 1st birthday . he was so nice then . now he's just a stupid messed up famous jerk ! what have you done to ross California ? " hey never show a boy your sad . show him your strong even though you not " rydel's voice sweetly entered my room . I looked up and over to her .  ' rydel he hates me . he really hates me . I don't understand what I did . why does he hate me" I cry . " no . no Holly . he doesn't hate you . he hates him self . he is in his bedroom crying to himself telling people he is a jerk , that did something to the person he cares about most , how e made the biggest mistake . that his mouth took over him , that everytime he trys to fix something it ends with a fight . Holly he doesn't hate you , he hates what he did to you " I sat there shocked and in disbeilf . " is he bipolar " I ask . " no just bi-confused . Holly he loves you. do you want me to show you " she asked . I nodded there is no way after a huge yelling at me he is crying in his room over being a jerk . " okay , but know you are probably gonna do some talking so lets doll you up and use waterproof make-up to make sure your tears don't mess up your face " she smiles . I shrug but go along with it . I lift up off the floor and let rydel search my closet . she picked out a mint green knee dress with lace on the entire back but not in my downer back area . it has shoulder sleaves and a black bow belt connected to it . rydel made me wear black heels and a light blue jean shoulder sleave jacket with frays at the end . she curled my hair and added water proof make up : foundation ,smokey eyeshadow , and light lip color red . I looked stunning honestly but I didn't see the point in this . " rydel why do I have to look dressy " I ask her . " because I wanted the chance to make over you " she smiles sheepishly . I roll my eyes . " but there is no getting out of it now common before they stop talking " she says tugging my arm . she dragged me to amity's house ( even though amity isn't here at he moment ) and dragged me to a room that I used to know as ross's . " riker that won't work she hates me . I am a jerk . I love her , but my stupid mouth is all UGH !" wow ross likes me ? I thought he hate me he just told me that . " I know you ment nothing of what you said but I promise you this will help " riker tells him . if he didn't mean it then why did he say it . " I don't even know if she likes me . she probably hates me " ross sighs . " she never told you she hated you " riker calmed . " yea she did " he says guiltly .  look down at my feet . I did say that . " it was only because you said what you said to her " now that was true . riker is really smart . " your really smart riker " ross commented . and appearently so is ross ." so are you ross you just need to think before you say things " yea that deffinantly needs work . I felt to small hands push me in front of the door way . both boys look over to me . I send rydel a death glare and watch her throw her hands up in defiance " I slipped " she whispered . I roll my eyes and look back at the guys that are jaw dropped . " rydel !" riker called and rydel walked into view of him . his confusd look turned into a grin . " always one step ahead of me aren't you " he chuckles . rydel nods and the both walk away leaving me and ross alone . " Holly " is all ross managed to say . it was more of in a sad tone and expressed on his face sorrowfully . " Holly I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so SOOOOOOO sorry for what I said to you " ross says standing up and running over to me . " ross I don't know what to say " I look down at my feet . I can't look at him . it hurts me . " you don't have to say anything , I am a complete jerk . I know you could never forgive me . im just ......................sorry " he copies my actions and avoids my face . I wore make-up for nothing . gee thanks rydel . " I like you too ross . I have since we were 10 . I never stopped " I admit looking at his blonde hair . I watched his head shoot up and my eyes found his . " you do " he asks . " I have tried . I have tried to stop but my heart still keeps you close " I tell him . " I have loved you since Joshua hurt you when we were 10 . I couldn't stand when you got hurt . I knew right then and there I loved you " he told me thinking back when . " ross , we were so close . why didn't you ever call . you never spoke to me . " I asked . " I didn't want to hurt you anymore than I had " he sighs walking back over to the bed . I followed him in the room . " hurt me ?" I ask . " I didn't want to leave the note on my window . I forgot to tell you . I didn't want to get yelled at and yell at you for being wrong . I didn't wan to hurt your feelings anymore . I wrote letters but never sent them . I always checked your tweets and commented hey how have you been but never submitted them . I would dial your number all but one and then close the phone knowing you wouldn't pick up . " he told me . " wow ross . so you lost hope" I asked . " I lost hope in myself " he frowned . I leaned my head on his shoulder . " I lost hope in me too " I agreed . " I have never stopped loving you Holly " he tells me . " I haven't stopped loving you either " and for the firs time I smile today . " soooo what does that mean " he asks . " what does what mean " I question . " what are we " he asks . " human " I shrug . " no I mean what are we " he asks . " people ?" I cock my eye brow . " no Holly I mean what are we?" he asks using hand motions this time . " OH ! we are human people in a room confessing our love for each other and tring to make thing right again in the world !" I answer . he facepalms himself . " what was that wrong " I ask . " are we together or not " he clears it up . " im not sure ross . after the past few days and the fighting and the -" I was cut off by ross lips on mine .sparks flew instantly .  I wrapped my arms around his neck and he snaked his arms around my waist . I started to play with his strands of blonde hairs on the back of his neck . he pulled away though giggling . " what "I ask . " that tickles .....his face goes blank and I smirk evilly . " are the same girl that uses what you say against you " he asked cautiously making me laugh . " OH ROSS ! I haven't changed my personality . " I laugh evilly . " what does that mean " he asks dumbfouned . I roll my eyes . " it means yes . I am gonna use that against you " . " oh no " he acts scarred . then he gets on one knee and holds out his hand . " Holly Sienna Reed . I have loved you for as long as I can remember . every time I brake your heart it hurts me worse than it hurts you . we have had ups and recent downs but I still love you . I won't stop loving you . so while im young and alive it would kill me if I never asked you this . will you be my ...............................girlfriend . " he asks . I take his hand and pull him on is feet . " no " I frown . " why not " he asks hurt . " because I can't do long distance . " I smile . " then can we work something out " he asks . I shrug . " we will work something out " he says giving no choice . I laugh and nod " I will be your Girlfriend IF you promise to be nice and treat me right and end all of this fighting , and IF you can work something out that we don't have to long distance " I tell him . he nods " that will be arranged " I hear a chorus of awws . " rydel , riker , rocky , Ryland get in here " I yell . I her murmers and shuffling behind the door . " NOW !" I order . they all stumble into sight with stupid grins on their faces . " what do you think your doing " I ask them . " we were not totally listening to you and ross's conversation which was adorbs by the way " rydel squeals . the boys hit her softly on the arm with the back of their hands " dude " they said in unison . " sorry gees " she mumbles . " I told you it would work " riker winked . " shut up " he blushed. " you are now boyfriend and girlfriend huh ? " rocky asks . " nope not until ross finds out how to not be long distance " I nudge him . " already got mom on it " riker I slowly raised his hand . " nice job rik ! you are amazing when your brain works " rydel high fives him . " I am gonna take that as  compliment " he laughs . " okay match makers . " Ryland rolls his eye . " I like it good name ry ! " and rydel and riker talk about matching stuff while walking down the hallway . "bye love birds " Ryland solutes and walks to his room ." I saw you first " rocky winked while ross death glared his brother . rocky walked out of sight . " so can we continue that kiss " ross asked ." continue what you pulled away " I pu my hands up in defence . " you tickle my neck " he whined . " because your hair is soft " I laugh . "I like your laugh babe " he smiled sexily . " who you calling babe " I ask . his face drains of color . " but you said -" I cut him off . " I said when you find out a way I can see you every day " I poke his stomach . " please " he asked cornering me to the bed .I fell on it and h climbed on me and leaned in for a kiss but I moved my head making him kiss my cheek. " aww I wanna kiss " he pouted . " you can have a kiss when we date " I say pushing I off of me . "  have to go . bye ross !" I say running out the house with ross hot on my trail . I run in my house and slam the door followed with a lock . the handle wiggled a bit but didn't open . I waved to him out of the windowand he blew me a kiss I old him no with my finger and he pouted . I shrugged and walked away  laving him banging o the window. im such a tease .

Is it finally happening ? is roslly happening ? is that a bad ship name ? I am having a ship contest so comment me some ship names and I will dedicate a chapter to YOU ! thanks for reading guys !!

~kate