Oblivion ➵ Billie Joe Armstrong

17

Frances

Present

...

I didn't love him. I don't feel anything for him. I don't know if he expected me to love him immediately, but, I just couldn't.

I had no memory of him.

The person in the past, the person who knew who he is, loves him. The person who married him, loves him.

I didn't know that person. 
I didn't know him.

I had been awake for an hour, I hesitated getting up since I didn't really want to hurt myself again.

My stomach grumbled.

I scoffed, sighing, before reaching for my crutches.

I slowly leaned up, whimpering at the pain in my stomach and my head.

I moved my legs over, slowly, wincing as I set them down.  I slowly got myself up, putting most of my strength into it.

Not that I had much.

I held onto the crutches, tightly. I struggled to move at first.

"Every time you walk, take in deep breaths. It'll help, don't go too fast."

I remembered the words of the physical therapist, taking in deep breaths before making my way to the open door.

I walked into the hallway, seeing three frames hanging in the wall.

I inched myself closer to the first one.

It was of Billie and I.

We were sitting on what looked like a stage, my legs were wrapped around his as he was sitting between my legs.

We looked at the camera, he was smiling as I struck my tongue out.

I moved towards the other frame, it was of Mike, Tre, and Billie, they were on sitting, drinking, and laughing.

The last one was the farthest down the hall.

I sighed, making my way towards it.

It was a black and white picture.

It had my name in the corner, the date, the time and it said 1st trimester. It had something that looked like a small bean in the middle.

I've seen these at the hospital before, they used it to scan my stomach to check if I had any damage to it.

It was a sonogram.

My eyes widened, I looked down at my stomach, rubbing my hand over it.

I used to be pregnant.

My lip quivered, a sob escaped my lips.

I was going to be a mother, I had a human inside of me that was growing.

I took the picture off the wall, grasping onto it.

I sobbed even louder, hearing heavy footsteps approach.

The little baby I had inside of me was gone because of the accident. The little baby that I never got to hold, see, or name, never got to take it's first breath, experience the world, take it's first steps.

I cried, a hand being placed on my shoulder.

"Frances?" He moved his hand to my arm.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed, my body starting to shake. "Why didn't you tell me? Why?" I sobbed, looking down at the frame.

He jumped back, looking down at my hands.

"Frances." He breathed, his voice cracking.  "Tell me!" I screamed, looking up at him.

"I didn't want to hurt you even more, I thought it would be best for you." He said, quietly.

"So you thought hiding it from me was the best option? That was my baby! I deserved to know, even if I didn't remember! How could you be so selfish and keep this from me? Did you not think about how I would feel?" I yelled.

His head shot up, "Are you hearing yourself? That was our baby! My child, too! I loved the baby, hey, maybe even a little more than I loved you! I would have given my life just for you and the baby to be okay! You have no right to say that I'm selfish when we're both hurting over the loss of the baby."

He paused, wiping the tears off his face.

"It hurts losing one thing you loved, I didn't wanna lose another." He said, walking away.